The cover letter I wish I could attach

Written by hootenannie on October 15th, 2007

Dear Potential Employer,

Congratulations! You are holding the invitation to employ me, Annie Parsons. This golden ticket is not easy to come by, as I am particular and discerning about my place of employment. Some might even call me picky – to which I respond, “In a good way.”

You might be wondering what it is about me that might warrant your consideration for hire. Ponder the facts:
1) I’m super fun. I liven up any office, and always have amusing stories to tell.
2) I mean it when I say I can do anything. Do you want a huge event planned? Done. Do you want the tiny details taken care of? No problem. Do you need a triple tall non-fat no-foam latte? That’s what I do.
3) By hiring me, you immediately inherit my internal encyclopedia of songs. This comes in handy if we ever go do office karaoke.

As for my know-how in your career field, well, that’s all relative, isn’t it? I’m like Barack Obama: what I lack in experience, I make up in charisma and charm. And these things are going to take me far.

I feel compelled to include a gratuitous word about my typing skills. You do not need to know how many words per minute I can type, as I do not want to appear arrogant. Suffice it to say that you might as well call me Mavis Beacon.

One more thing: my entire life, I have been awarded jobs without ever applying for them. People meet me and are overwhelmed by my skills and cute shoes, and then just put me on the payroll. I have never even had to write a cover letter! Obviously – duh.

Thank you for your consideration. If you want to find out more, then just friend me on Facebook.

Rock on,
Annie P.

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