Leaning into the unknown
Written by hootenannie on February 5th, 2008I think that God gives us a lot of freedom to choose our own path in life. When it comes to the everyday decisions, I don’t believe that there are too many hard-and-fast absolute “rights” and “wrongs.” Should I ask that person out? Which car should I buy? Paper or plastic? God is big enough to handle whatever it is that we may decide, and use it for his good. After all, we have a God who is in the business of bringing life out of death.
However, I do believe that there are certain times where we are given a choice, and the outcome is of serious importance. There’s a fork in the road, and which path one chooses will direly affect that which is important in one’s life.
Today, I faced that decision.
I got hired. I worked 4 days. And today, for some serious reasons, I quit.
Then, I signed the lease on an apartment.
Backwards, huh? AM I INSANE? Cutting off my already-meager source of income, and then throwing every penny that I have at an apartment, simply because I feel deep down in my spirit that this is somehow going to work out? That this is the right path? That this is good?
I have always been one who makes decisions intuitively. Last night was spent in a relative panic about my situation: knowing that this job was not the job that I needed to be in, knowing that this apartment was where I wanted to live, knowing that Nashville is a place that I makes me come alive, despite the brick walls I have faced at every turn. It was a real soul-searching time of asking the question, “Should I even be here? Should I move back in with my parents in Kansas City? Am I crazy to have given up my amazing life in Seattle?” I prayed that God would give me the right answer, that he would appear in a pillar of fire or a cloud in the sky. I prayed. I asked. I waited.
No answer.
I cried myself to sleep, feeling alone and afraid.
And when I woke up this morning, before I could rationalize or be tugged back and forth by my emotions, I had the strong assurance of what I needed to do. “Quit your job. Sign the lease.” So I did. With great terror, but strong conviction, I did.
I am holding fast to the assurance that I will always have what I need when I need it. I am actively searching for employment. I am watching for the ways that God will provide, and listening for his whisper. And I am praising God that after 6 months in boxes, I AM NO LONGER HOMELESS!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!
People! I am now accepting visitors!
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Woah.
Go Annie, go!
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Awesome post! I love your ability to be vulnerable and funny at the same time. :)
Looking forward to hearing “the rest of the story”… (just call me Paul Harvey)
p.s. It will work out! It always does.
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so what’s your new address?
I’m gonna send you something…
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wow, i’ve found myself in a similar position, it’s terrifying, especially when everyone you know is telling you to play it safe. you’re a courageous girl, and things have a way of working themselves out. i left california in hopes that life in oregon would accept me, allow me to prosper. i was alone and scared. when i made the leap in my business to work hard, trust god….within a few weeks of not having support from my ex husband, i was making more than i needed to survive, including paying rent on my own, all bills, with money to spare. i have god-trust issues. i still can’t believe it: every month, i’m OKAY. and at any point, when i’m not, it works out somehow.
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Oh, you’re crazy. I’ve know that for a long time.
Thanks for your message the other day. It made me feel better.
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Okay first: I definitely want to visit. Second: Whole Foods is now making the paper/plastic decision a little easier. From now on, it’s only paper, baby.
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so far, it sounds as if you are doing everything RIGHT.
1.) Have a bad job – quit
2.) Find a great apartment – get it
3.) Want guidance – pray
… over all, you are doing EXACTLY what you need to be doing! It ALWAYS works out Annie.
Love you.
Diana
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‘quit your job. sign the lease.’
i love it. beautiful!
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I’m with graham r on this one. I once met a man that said God never removes the faith factor… it is always there.
Also, it was funny… one day I was clicking on links to other people’s blogs from your blog and one of your friends (Jack) knows Geoff Baron (a guy I knew in New Zealand.) Small world.
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Oh, I love you people that read my blog! :) And I read your blogs, too. Blogging has enriched my life.
Kristy, I don’t know all of the details, but I love your story. It’s inspiring to me. (and people, check out Kristy’s site – beautiful!)
Laura, I’m obsessed with Whole Foods. I applied for a job there last night. :)
Sally, this IS a small world! The internet is insane. Jack, are you seeing this? Meet Sally.
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“Blogging has enriched my life.”
Care to expand?
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I am panicking.
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walking in faith. so good. and i’m excited to see what He has in store for you!
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you’re insane!
i love it.
uhh and is the starbucks by your parents house really closed?
the world gets better sometimes,
we just have to recognize it.
go local business.
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You welcomed visitors. So I bought (err, cashed in on) a plane ticket. Be careful what you wish for ;)
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thought you may like this quote, it sounds like you. way to live into breathless expectation :)
“To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways; we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should rather be an expression of breathless expectation.” -Oswald Chambers