We interrupt this 4-day series to bring you a special report.
Annie Parsons, the author of this blog, is feeling emotionally despondent.
Many things are to blame for this current lack of enthusiasm about life. It all started with her DNA strand, making her exceptionally susceptible to The Funk. But genetics are not fully at fault, as Annie has clawed her way back up the downward spiral many times before. No – this is different. This is largely a CIRCUMSTANTIAL downheartedness.
Consider the facts:
- Annie hates change.
- Annie hates transition.
- Annie loves feeling in control.
- Annie’s life has been nothing but change lately.
- Annie’s life has been in constant transition for at least 9-months now.
- Annie feels out of control.
In a recent message to a friend, Annie said,
“It’s like this: the minute [this season of life began], someone pulled the plug at the bottom of my spirit. Everything felt fine for the first little bit, but now, all of a sudden, I’m like, I’M SPIRITUALLY BANKRUPT! HELP ME! HEEELLLLP MEEEEEE!! This [season] has felt equivalent to a month of Sundays. Actually, no – a month of Mondays, with PMS, and really bad hair. And I want to run screaming out the door.”
Annie knows that she will be alright. She always is. But today, she is praying for some little miracle, some small hopeful sign that will lift her spirits. She realizes that this is a prayer worth praying, because the last time that she prayed this prayer – in the midst of a heart-shredding day last year – she found out that there was an H&M a few blocks from the place she was staying.
In the meantime, she is putting one foot in front of the other.
My apologies for the virtual soul-barf of this post. I wish that I could be peppy all the time, and spread warmth and goodness and bubbles everywhere I go. But for right now, this is where I am. I hesitate in posting my gloom for you all to read, but I know that it’s important for me to write, even when it’s ugly. Thanks for reading despite my grungy reality.