Graham and I are in Seattle for the weekend. Since moving to Nashville, I have been traveling every-other-weekend or so, and it makes me feel very important and glamorous, like I’m a woman about town, a woman on a mission, a woman with frequent flier miles.
Actually, this trip IS courtesy of my Rapid Rewards account through Southwest. With my loyalty to this airline, I should be Southwest’s mascot. I should be on the cover of Spirit Magazine, with my own monthly column. I would write about all of the reasons that I love Southwest, including the friendly service, non-assigned seating, red and purple airplanes, and Ritz Cracker Cheese Sandwiches.
I would also give advice. People could write in and ask me questions, and I would exude my sage, time-tested wisdom. They could ask about anything.
For example, if someone wrote to me and said,
I love amusement parks! They’re so fun. But I have a problem. It’s against the rules to bring a lunch with you – and I don’t want to spend $12 on a corndog. Any ideas?
-Starving at Six Flags
My response – from my own experience, of course – would be,
Amusement parks are great! The rollercoasters, the tourists, the frozen lemonade… Here is my tried-and-true process for sneaking in a lunch. Pack your hoagie sandwiches at the bottom of your backpack. Cover them with a sweatshirt. Cover the sweatshirt with about 17 tampons. When you are in the security line, find the most awkward adolescent-looking security guard, and go through his line. He will open your pack and promptly close it without digging.
It would be such a successful column! Useful, shrewd, and fun for the whole family. I will ponder this possibility.
In the meantime, I am making sure that Graham gets an authentic Northwest experience. So far,
1) Seafood – check.
2) Coffee – check.
3) Rain – check.