WWJD – with awkward people?
Written by hootenannie on June 10th, 2008I have recently acquired a new neighbor. What kind of neighbor, you ask? One of the homeless, street evangelist persuasion. How do I know? Because last week, he spent 15 minutes trying to convert me to Christianity. I played the devil’s advocate, thinking that he knew that I was just playfully testing his witnessing skills; however, he actually believed me to be a lost soul.
You can imagine how awkward it was when I had to come clean: “Um, I actually DO believe in Jesus. I’m even a pastor’s daughter. I’ve gone to church practically every Sunday for 25 years now. I own a copy of the NIV, the NLT, and the Message. I can recite the books of the New Testament in order. I know about “Psalty” and “McGee and Me” and “Superbook.” I am well-versed in Charles Wesley and Fanny Crosby and Oswald Chambers and Rick Warren and Rob Bell and the awful 700 Club. May the Lord bless you and keep you, may the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you, may the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace. Amen.”
It was a very uncomfortable moment.
This man has taken up residence on my neighbor’s couch – the nice boy across the courtyard offered him his couch until he finds a place of his own. He came to Nashville from a sinful city in the west in order to win souls to Christ. I have run into him several times, and each time I have felt more and more uneasy. He is pushy, and invades my personal space, and consistently requests that he be included in whatever I am on my way to do: go downtown (“Can I come with you?”), pick up friends at the airport (“Maybe I can ride along?”), or last night, go to the gym (“I’ve been wanting to work out – I’ll go change.”).
Typically, I have a clear head and a quick mind. But for some reason, this man totally rattles my brain, and I have had a hard time coming up with appropriate ways to decline his company. I’m freaked out. I don’t think that he’s dangerous, but I do think that he is abnormally assertive and socially inappropriate. Last night, when he wanted to come to the gym with me and presumptively went inside to change…
Y’all. I ran and got in my car and left without him.
I DITCHED him. With no explanation.
I am a terrible, awful person.
So I am wondering: what would Jesus do with awkward people? People that just bug the bajeebis out of you, and can’t take a hint, and stare you unwaveringly in the eye? People who invite themselves on your errands? People who encroach on your personal time, and push back when you say no?
Because I’m pretty sure that Jesus wouldn’t run in the other direction.
Then again, Jesus wasn’t a young, single girl living alone in a city full of potentially dangerous people.
Then again again, Jesus was willingly crucified.
Today, it is abundantly clear to me that although I know my “church stuff,” that doesn’t necessarily mean that I know anything.
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Oh my gosh, get thee in thine car, girl! Flee!
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um annie, I think you are perfectly justified not to bring him along with you anywhere. You have to trust your gut feeling and not feel bad about it. You can be nice and still give a firm “No thank you.”
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oh, this is SO where I am right now. I just got back from a trip to nyc and it really forced me to ask myself a lot of these same questions. and I don’t have answers.
a friend I used to work with used to quote john piper–something about “I can’t imagine, that when I get to heaven, what God wants to hear would be ‘don’t worry, I wasn’t tricked into helping that homeless person, when all they wanted was booze. don’t worry, I didn’t fall for it.’ “
ouch.
the world is a different place now, you’re right. and we use that to justify our unwillingness to love the way he did (our unwilingness? I guess I should say ‘my’ unwillingness).
but then if we ask ourselves the question, we KNOW the answer, we KNOW what he would do. but we’re not him–is it worth trying? is it foolish to put yourself in a place that’s not safe?
not safe…but good?
man. this is hard. I am right there with you.
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“I’m sure you can understand that as a single girl in a big city, I don’t feel comfortable doing things alone with men I don’t know well. It’s nice to you to offer, but I don’t think I can spend time with you alone. Sorry.”
And if he pushes back: sick the Dismas on him.
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*sic
How I wish you could edit blog comments.
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Greta:
Perfect words.
I should have known you would have them.
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“Today, it is abundantly clear to me that although I know my “church stuff,” that doesn’t necessarily mean that I know anything. “
Couldn’t have said it better myself. It’s the latest in late twenties revelations I do think.
And I’m with Greta on pulling the single girl card. It a hard one to rebut. I look forward to hearing how this shakes out.
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And I’m not sure WWJD is a fair question of yourself… He probably would have forgiven him of his sins, healed him of his awkwardness and sent him on ahead to the next town to spread the Good News. Probably not a fair comparison. :o)
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Or you could always: be honest. And tell him his pushiness isn’t going to help build a relationship, in fact, is doing the opposite. I like to ask people why they have those needs? Why is that his m.o.? Has it worked for him in the past?
Maybe he needs to rethink his strategy- not for you, but for his own urge to “advance the kingdom.”
Have you ever watched Rob Bell’s Nooma the “Bullhorn guy”= brilliant. That’s what I have in mind right now:)
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I agree with Case and Los. Don’t know them (is it two people?), but I agree with them. Even down to the brilliant Nooma reference.
Anyway, my point is that it doesn’t sound like this guy will “get it” unless you are extremely specific and to-the-point honest. Doesn’t make you any less Christ-like.
Good luck. Be safe.
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You don’t owe him anything. Jesus wasn’t a single girl and plenty of people have been mugged on your street. Worse, he knows where you live. Politely decline invitations. No need for an explanation. Be safe. Buy Mace.
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What Sarah Kate said. Word.
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AND! he steals cookies!!
but annie, you know this. WWJD? Love him. But loving doesn’t mean enabling, and you have every God-given right to ask him to politely back off. And if that doesnt work, you can always karate chop him, right?
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In my high school years, whenever I used to head downtown into the city with friends, I would oft come across “The Crazy Subway Lady.” She was an optimistic soul who would remind us all with her loud shenanigans and sandwich billboard (which she wore!) that we were all sinners and damned to hell. She would romp through the cars with her booming voice, telling us how we were decrepit and full of sin and damned to hell (she said that a lot). And she would always sing a cute little song:
“SIIIINNNNAAAA! SIIIIINNNNAAAA!
You’re going to hellll, siiinnnnaaaa!”
Ah, how I miss her…
Fond memories.
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Dude, that guy gives me the willies and I don’t even know him.
Is it more that you’re afraid of hurting his feelings or are you afraid of HIM? Listen to your intuition. It’s there for a reason.
If you’re just worried about hurting his feelings, I’d tell him that you’re not used to people being so agressively social.
If you’re afraid of HIM, I’d tell somebody that he’s wigging you out. Maybe the police. Maybe the friendly ex-cons across the street.
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Annie….part of the church stuff should include that you need to trust your intuition on somethings and this is one of those things….if I guy gives you the creeps getting in the car is a great plan. Pray for him….that he finds a place to stay NOW far away from you neighbors couch. ~Sharon
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Well… I asked, you most definitely advised.
Thanks, all.
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As one who has met said homeless street evangelist face to face (and can attest to the AWKARD quality that is him), I would say do as you’ve been doing. Be cordial, kind, but there is no reason to get all BFF with someone you aren’t particularly comfortable with. And like Greta said, if it gets bad, sick the Dismas on him. :)
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Wierd as it sounds, this reminds me of a student I’m working with :-o.
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I think you should marry him. NOT!
“Then again, Jesus wasn’t a young, single girl living alone in a city full of potentially dangerous people.” Who said that, I wonder? What would you tell your nieces, nephews and/or cousins. I say, Be very careful and heed what your other posts/friends say. If he was a nice person he would respect your space, etc. Therefore, to me, he is not to be considered nice. Shall I go on? ;-)
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i have basically no advice to give you that these wonderful comments haven’t already offered. i really just wanted to say: PSALTY! MCGEE AND ME! SUPERBOOK! my childhood!
i’m really glad those got a shoutout here. please stay safe so i can laugh at such mentions in the future.