Good thing I drive a jalopy
Written by hootenannie on September 30th, 2008I don’t really watch “The Biggest Loser,” although I have a couple of times – enough to remember Dan Evans. Dan Evans, of season 5. Dan Evans, who lost a heroic 136 lbs. Dan Evans, the aspiring country artist. Dan Evans, whose CD entitled “Goin’ All Out” is being released today.
Dan Evans, whose mega “Goin’ All Out” tour bus hit my little Honda yesterday.
It’s not unusual to see a tour bus on the streets of Nashville – this is Music City, after all. But most artists tend to keep a low profile – it’s hard to tell who might be inside the bus. Not Dan Evans. His face is plastered all over his bus, along with his name – although, due to poor typography and a serious lack of spacing, I read “DANEvans” and thought that his name was indeed “Dane Vans.”
It wasn’t until the bus hit my car and the DANEvans decal was 18 inches from my face that I realized, “Oh, I was wrong – this is DAN EVANS, not DANE VANS. Charming.”
Blame it on traffic. Blame it on narrow streets. Blame it on a bus driver who was dreaming some seriously big dreams, attempting to navigate his way around a corner. But my bumper was the casualty. Scrape. Scratch. I honked my horn, rolled down my window, and yelled up at the driver, “Did you just crunch me?” He said, “Yes. I’m sorry. If you pull straight forward, you should be fine.”
Surprisingly, he was right. I pulled straight forward, and after the intial RASP of two bumpers separating, I was free from the wreckage*. And DANEvans went chugging merrily on his way.
No autograph or anything. The nerve.
*The “wreckage” consisted of a couple scrapes, but nothing cracked. Bumper, here’s a lesson that my heart has learned time and time again: the bastards can beat you up, but they can’t keep you down. You are bruised but not broken. And you will live to see another day.
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Awesome.
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Dude’s gonna pay to fix the scratches, isn’t he??
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i dunno why, but i seriously had a good crack up sesh just now…thank you. this kinda stuff would only happen to you. (and me some of the time). glad your honda is well :)
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Dumb.
But funny.
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danevil is more like it.
i wonder if you contacted him via myspace or something if he would help you out and redeem his name?
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That is amazing. Confession: I am a Biggest Loser-aholic. I need to go on a diet from Bigget Loser. The new season just started and Dan (the Dan who is my husband) goes, “Oh lord, are you going to make me watch the fat people show again this season?”. To which I replied, “Darling, I don’t make you do anything”. But, yes, I will be watching. But, no, I will not be partaking in this guys music. Another reality show person trying to become a musician? Really, Dan Evans? Is that the best you can do? You just lost a freakin’ boat-load of weight, be content! Yet, who am I to judge his dreams? What I CAN judge him for is hitting Annie’s car with his gawdawfultacky tourbus. [End stream-of-consciousness rant]
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oh gosh, I love this story Annie.
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I think DANE should send you an autographed CD as an apology, or better yet, buy one of your songs/introduce you to his people who know people.
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At least now you know how to get famous and become a country music star — just gain 136 pounds and get on that show and lose them all and you, too, can be famous!!!!
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I’ll admit, I watch Biggest Loser. Every chance I get. Sometimes I even blog about it. What can I say?
I also must admit that I clicked your link to go see his page. And the eye rolling hasn’t stopped.
“TV star. Hero. Musician. An inspiration to all.” Is he serious?
Your story is hilarious. Only you!
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Ooo, love the moral at the end!
But I love morals. New game idea: every thing said must end with, “And the moral of the story IS: blah blah blah.” Rule 1. of the game is: no one else gets to know that you’re playing it.
I call it, “Obnoxious Aesop.”
Okay, but this moral really IS fabu.
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OH NO!!! I freaking wrote that kid’s press release!
LOL ridiculous!!! but i’m glad the honda is okay. :)
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ps. my car is older than… miley cyrus? well, maybe they’re the same age. :)
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Love this story AND YOUR CD’S!!!!!!!!!! We tried to wait, but we just couldn’t, we listened to some of cd 1 and are so excited for the rest!!!!
Sue him, get a new car:)
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Ha! pretty funny! every once in awhile something like this happens – at least it makes for good blogging! :D