Possible
Written by hootenannie on March 27th, 2009I don’t have much to complain about. My family is intact, and healthy, and stable. We all love each other, and we all love Jesus. I have amazing friends, live in a fantastic city, and every need is provided for. I have opportunities for adventures, and the freedom to pursue basically anything I want to right now. Life is good – right?
Then why do I feel so shitty?
Lately, I’ve felt weighed down by some heavy burdens – the same old junk that has haunted me my entire life. How bad has it been? Oh, just bad enough that I left a dinner party IN TEARS last night. I mean… the mortification. I felt completely out of control.
Sometimes, I feel completely out of control.
Here in Nashville, there’s an organization called Magdalene. Women with histories of violence, prostitution, and addiction are invited to live in community together for two years, free of charge, where they build relationships, “do life” together, and ultimately, have a chance at experiencing healing. They also run a cottage business called Thistle Farms, in which they sell hand-made bath and body products. Recently, I was given the chance to review their new book “Find Your Way Home” – and I wanted to share a little bit about it.
In this book, the women of the Magdalene community tell snippets of their own stories – they have lived through things that I, in my sheltered existence, cannot imagine. But as they write, “We do not share the same experiences, but we all have been in need sometime in our lives.” And that is why this book spoke powerfully to me – I saw a universal need for love, for acceptance, for truth, and for rest. Thank God that Magdalene exists for these women who have not found these necessities anywhere else.
It’s a quick read – I finished it in one sitting – and it lists their 24 “rules” for living together. Some of the lines that struck me?
Even though we may feel lonely when we cry, we are never truly alone. Our despair is part of a larger chorus howling for justice that stretches back to the prophets.
What we are feeling and experiencing is not a sense of being lost but the wonder of discovering something new.
We are God’s children in flesh and spirit. We never have to live in shame for all the things that have been done to us or that we have done to others.
I needed these reminders – reminders that God loves me exactly where I’m at, and that it’s never too late. We’re never too far gone. Healing can happen, iron bars can be broken, and change is possible. It’s totally possible.
Because if the women of Magdalene can continue fighting, then I will, too.
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Amen to that last statement!
Jump this hurdle.
The fruit will come.
I, for one, cannot wait to see what He has in store for you.
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Love you.
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No idea if this will speak to you the way it did to me, but check out Pastor Pete’s blog post here:
http://withoutwax.tv/2009/03/26/just-not-the-way-that-i-thought/
Thanks for sharing the Magdalene quotes…loved it.
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We all love you right where you are too.
I hope one day you can see yourself through all of our eyes… beautiful beyond compair, smart and witty as the best comedian, more tallented than any has a right to be, all-together wonderful. We see a part Jesus when we see you.
I wish there was a similar ministry here in Seattle. This city needs it badly.
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I have known about and loved the Magdalene program for many years. It’s great. Their bath products are fantastic as well.
I think it’s important to remember that even though people like you and me haven’t been through extreme trials and tribulations and even though we love Jesus, it’s still ok to be in a funk sometimes. It’s ok to be sad and leave a dinner party (or work) crying even though it’s Mega-embarassing. Sometimes it’s chemical, sometimes hormonal, sometimes our reality just sucks, for us. It may not seem extreme in the scheme of things but it’s big to us and that’s ok.
It’s also ok to sift through all of that junk, heal through it and be free. It’s so worth it…so I hear.
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It’s hard, huh? This crazy life, which is full of stuff that’s just not right. And here we are trying to sojourn amidst it all, and it feels so strange, because, well, it is. It’s strange and sometimes downright wrong. But, take hope, dear internet friend, that there is beauty and hope and love in it still. Like a red bird that still comes through winter.
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Really beautiful Annie!
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Girl, I needed to read those pearls of insight and encouragement. I’ve been feeling the same way as you – as if nothing is going right. As if there’s a dark cloud looming over me. I’m over-analyzing things (perhaps) and am finding myself battling to mute the thoughts that echo shame and resentment in my heart (in my mind).
Today marks one month in Nashville for this Annie. I’m hoping the next month is a little brighter…
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I live the ladies of Magdalene… I bought some bubble bath and a candle from them a couple of years ago… Loved it! We should host another house party for them… Spread the news about their lovely products and beautiful stories of redemption.
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I meant “love” not “live”…darn auto spell feature on my phone…