Tangled
Monday, April 20th, 2009Back in March, I went to Kansas to sort through my childhood things and help my parents get their house ready to sell. While I was there, I found an old jewelry box full of various plastic beaded bracelets, butterfly rings, earrings with no mates, and many, many necklaces whose thin gold chains were knotted and tangled into a solid mass.
No matter how hard I tried, I could not get those knots untangled. There was no way to decipher where the problem began, and with every link that I would tug, the knot would get tighter. The mess would get worse.
Sometimes, I feel like those gold chains.
Sometimes, I feel like such a complicated jumble, there could never be hope for a solution. I cannot see where certain issues end, and where others begin. I am confused by my emotions, by my tendencies – and have no more understanding of myself than I do the infinite galaxies.
Last night in church, I found myself praying, “God, forgive me for… just… all that I am.” I didn’t even know where to begin, because I cannot pinpoint a beginning. All that I know is that a lot of the time, I’m a tangled, muddled mess – and I don’t know why.
Will it ever be resolved? Will I ever be resolved?
But then, I felt God press on my heart: “I know what you’re made of, and it is good.”
I see the mess. He sees the gold.
I see the knot. He sees a straight line.
I see the confusion. He sees the solution.
One day, the chains will fall loose. Everything will make sense. Everything will be made right. I believe it.
Because if I can be victorious in untangling a mass of gold necklaces using olive oil and a needle, then surely the God of the universe has a creative solution for the complexities of you and me.
