Moose on the loose
Thursday, July 2nd, 2009In my opinion, the world’s scariest creature is not a shark, or a bear, or even a naked mole rat. The one beast that I never hope to meet in a dark alley is a moose.
Moose are some mean mother truckers.
Ever since I read “Hatchet,” and the kid was stranded alone in the Canadian wilderness, and the moose swam up in the lake UNDERNEATH HIM and gored him with his horns, I have been terrified. This is unfortunate, because tomorrow, I will board a boat bound for the Last Frontier, where people see moose outside of the local Applebees.
But who knows – maybe moose will win me over.
Perhaps if Alison Krauss serenaded the encounter?
(Why does that make me want to laugh so hard?)
Speaking of savage behemoths, I just learned that the state marine animal of Alaska (every state should have one) is the bowhead whale. This is by far the ugliest beast I have ever seen.
If I don’t return, you can either blame the state of Alaska for death-by-wildlife, or Christopher McCandless for the inspiration to just never come back. At this point, it’s a toss up.
