Good thing I don’t Twitter

Written by hootenannie on July 23rd, 2009

Otherwise, this is what you would have been subjected to yesterday.

Annie Parsons… found 7 bug bites.
Annie Parsons… discovered 2 more bites.
Annie Parsons… that makes 9.
Annie Parsons… is going to scratch her skin off.
Annie Parsons… is watching the poison curlicue beneath her skin.
Annie Parsons… is researching bug bites online.
Annie Parsons… thank you, Google images.
Annie Parsons… made a table and is tallying points for the culprit.
Annie Parsons… has narrowed it down to a spider.
Annie Parsons… or a chigger.
Annie Parsons… actually, 5 points for ants.
Annie Parsons… these are really, really red.
Annie Parsons… is itching like a coke whore.
Annie Parsons… is changing her bed sheets.
Annie Parsons… is shaking out her quilt.
Annie Parsons… cannot fall asleep.
Annie Parsons… cannot fall asleep.
Annie Parsons… cannot fall asleep.
Annie Parsons… IS THAT A BUG?
Annie Parsons… is paranoid.
Annie Parsons… cannot fall asleep.

The thought of insects feasting on my flesh makes me want to burn my bed.

10 Comments so far ↓

  1. Jul
    23
    9:29
    AM
    Josh Solar

    Actually, if you did Twitter that would have been a very funny set of tweets…just kidding. Bug bites suck…I feel for you.

  2. Jul
    23
    12:14
    PM
    carrie

    Ha! Annie..I haven’t read your blog in so long then today I decided I should. And..this is hillarious!! So glad we tweeted..I mean talked, last nite

  3. Jul
    23
    1:44
    PM
    Tad

    Itching like a Coke Whore??

    Yeah, good thing you don’t Twitter.

    I guess you can have fun with your coworkers. You can disguise your bite-itching as the “Junky’s Itch” and keep muttering about how you need a new bag. I bet you’ll get someone to react.

  4. Jul
    23
    2:30
    PM
    Cara

    i have “bites” too! we have got to get ourselves a new dealer.

    seriously though, hell is made up of being covered in bug bites (among other really bad things).

  5. Jul
    23
    4:04
    PM
    wrecklessgirl

    OMG! i had one of those weeks…except with cockroaches! totally paranoid…i would leave lights on all night just to scare them away. still, i’d wake up in sheer panic that one was on me, or on my bed. i DID twitter about it. check it out: http://twitter.com/wrecklessgirl/status/2772412221 … all this and more via twitter!

  6. Jul
    23
    4:20
    PM
    Greta

    Burts Bee’s blemish stick:
    http://www.bathandunwind.com/img/products/33991.jpg

    …seriously works wonders for taking away bug bite itch. Discovered as much when Heidi and I were traveling last summer– it’s amazing!

    I was thinking yesterday when reading our “Thwip” emails what a good thing it is that we don’t do Twitter… and how hilarious we would be if we did. :)

  7. Jul
    23
    5:02
    PM
    hootenannie

    Ha! Greta. Our Twitter updates would include things like, “Hipster, multiple gold medallions, 12 o’clock.”

    Which would be silly.

    But then, they would also include my favorite excerpt from yesterday’s email: “I wish I could pull up a sidewalk square and see you pop up underneath. Annie-in-the-Box!”

    Maybe we SHOULD Twitter. (I cannot say “tweet.” Neither can I call Twitter people “tweeples.”)

  8. Jul
    24
    1:31
    AM
    Greta

    Can we PLEASE call Twitterers tweepies?? Or Tweebs, maybe??

  9. Jul
    26
    6:11
    PM
    Deborah Barnett

    Maybe TwitterBugs are biting you. Hey, you should call Meghan… she was having that problem a year or so ago and called some bed bug killer guy and he annihilated them all. She sleeps peacefully and bite free now.

  10. Jul
    27
    3:05
    PM
    Rebecca Davis

    HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!! I giggled the entire time

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