September, 2009

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The life and times

Monday, September 28th, 2009

I am currently dog-sitting for a delightful dog named Shelby.  She jumps the fence and eats band-aids out of the trash can, but I like her anyway.  Yesterday morning, I took her to the dog park to let her run, and she immediately befriended a greyhound.  She chased it around, but unfortunately, did not have the capacity to understand that she was chasing a GREYHOUND, so she never quite caught up.

Shelby has no idea that she’s just a little mutt.

Sometimes, I wish that I didn’t know my limitations – that I felt free to run as hard and fast as I can, giving no thought to my deficiencies or how I stack up against others – just completely at rest with who I am.

I should take a lesson from the little mongrel.

– – – – – – – –

And now, tidbits worth mentioning but not really worth blogging about:

1) People, the weather.  My stars.  Last year, this didn’t happen until October 2 – but I am thrilled to report that this year, the change happened a few days early.

2) I have never seen anything so magical.  Is this too good to be true? Because I am coveting like you would not believe.

3) I finished my EP.  I’m listening to it right now on my headphones!  This IS worth blogging about, just not yet.  Stay tuned – I cannot wait for you to hear it.

4) And I know that you’ve been on the edge of your seat all weekend, so: no, I still have not barfed since I was 14.  Don’t you worry your pretty little head for one tiny second.  All better.  Back at work.  Just caused a coffee flood in the kitchen.

Everything is back to normal.

Some nice, relaxing Friday morning quease

Friday, September 25th, 2009

The benefit of being home sick is that I can stay home.

The trade-off is the fact that I might throw up.

I have not thrown up since age 14 – half a lifetime ago.  I’m so nervous.

Bursting

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009

Judge me if you will, but I plan on bawling my eyes out when I see Jessi Alexander sing Miley Cyrus’ “The Climb” at the Bluebird tonight.

That song makes my heart burst.

Speaking of my heart bursting, yesterday, I received a rogue voicemail that somehow wound up in our queue at work from a little old lady wondering if we could tell her when “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” would be on.

The highlight of my day was being able to call her and let her know that in St. Louis, it would be on at 6:30pm on channel 2.

Soliloquy

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

Isn’t this supposed to be the most exciting time of my life – the time where single girls have fancy jobs, live it up, meet interesting gentlemen in bars, travel to Greece and Zambia and Italy, are allowed to blow their entire paychecks on fabulous attire – and all the while, have smokin’ bodies and perky breasts because they have not yet given birth?

Sometimes, I think that my married friends have a very skewed view of my life – just like I probably often have of theirs.

Let me tell you what my daily life has actually been like.

I hit the snooze alarm for an entire hour before finally getting up, already late, and throwing on whatever t-shirt is closest and the one pair of jeans that’s fitting these days. I do not accessorize. I do not do my hair. I do not wear perfume. I barely smear makeup onto my face before grabbing my pre-packed breakfast AND lunch and running out to my 1990 Honda Accord that has been missing a hubcap for 7 YEARS now.

Usually my car starts within 2 tries. I drive 5 minutes to work and grab a cup of coffee on the way to my desk. Approximately the first 7 minutes of the day consist of checking my Gmail and Facebook, but that is just about all of the personal internet time I take before diving into a job that keeps my brain on speed for the rest of the day. Thankfully, I am feeling more and more competent every week, and finally pull my weight as a contributing member of the team – but leave with crossed eyes and a deflated brain from thinking so hard. As strange as it sounds, I am beginning to get addicted to the fatigue.

My evenings are a balancing act of “have dinner (cheese and alcohol does not count, Annie),” “run 5 errands,” “stick to your commitments,” “try to be nice to the people around you,” and “burn off every calorie that you consumed while sitting still all day.” Honestly, my thighs. What is happening? I’m referring to it as the “urban spread.”

I get home from the gym at 10pm, but only because that is when the YMCA closes, and not because I feel like I have paid my due penance. A rinse-off shower follows (I wash my hair as infrequently as possible to keep my cheap dye job from turning Soviet purple), and then I crawl into bed with every intention of finishing “Eclipse.” But then I remember that I have to pay some bills, I have to order some wedding gifts, I have to return some emails, I have to do some laundry, I have to clean my bathroom floor, I have to pre-pack my breakfast AND lunch.

Therefore, I have been reading “Eclipse,” young adult fiction about teenage vampires, for 8 weeks now.

I am awake until 1am before putting in my sexy mouth guard and sleeping for not-long-enough before hitting the snooze alarm for an entire hour the next morning and doing it all again.

Some of you will read this, tssk-tssk, and patronizingly say, “This girl has no idea that this is the best time of her life.” Others might think, “What an ungrateful shrew.” Dr. Dan will be proud of my dental dedication. All I’m saying is that currently life feels far from glamorous, I do not know how to have a full-time job and still pursue writing, my thighs are growing while the pool of single men is shrinking, and that I would be bored if I weren’t so exhausted all the time.

And scene.

“Significant fog”

Monday, September 21st, 2009

Surely, you’ve been missing my face.

Here you go – to tide you over until we meet again (or ever) (or never) in the flesh.

Significant Fog from Annie Parsons on Vimeo.

And now, let us soldier on through Monday.

A dislike followed by a like

Friday, September 18th, 2009

I know that I have mentioned that I despise the winky face.  And it’s true – the winky face makes me barf.  End of story.  Forever.

But there is another thing that has been weighing on my mind, and that is the smiley emoticon.

:)

See?  Ugh.

Now, I use the smiley in email communication – but only in it’s purest form: the sideways simpleton.  To me, it brings to mind an ironic, closed-lipped side-smile, à la Jim Halpert.

: )

Even that isn’t an accurate representation, because I had to put a space in between the “eyes” and the “mouth” just to prevent WordPress from hijacking my style and creating a monster.

Because if there is one thing that really irks me, it is when my simple, sideways symbol is – unbeknownst to me – translated into a big-toothed, yellow-faced, sphere-headed, body-less imbecile.  It makes me look like a moron.

– – – – – – – –

In other news, in response to an unexpected surge of administrative prowess, my friend PZC recently called himself “an organizational Jason Bourne (kicking ass but unsure where it came from and still not sure where I’m headed).”

I thought that was delightful.

Part of me

Thursday, September 17th, 2009

As I drove back to the JAM House last night, cruising over the wet pavement and giving no thought to the “how” of how to get home because I’ve driven the route so many times, I was thinking about the fact that it’s been over two years since I left Seattle.  It’s been almost two years that I’ve lived here in Nashville.  And it’s been a long time since I’ve been able to call any city “home.”

But for as much displacement as I’ve felt, and for as much transition as I’ve experienced, it occurred to me: Nashville used to exist in my mind as “something I am doing.”

All of a sudden, it feels more like “who I am.”

It is part of the fiber of who I am.  No matter how long I stay, no matter where I go from here, Nashville is in my veins for good.

It may not be home.  It may not be comfortable.  It may not be forever.  But it’s mine.

I should probably just stop sleeping

Monday, September 14th, 2009

Last night, I had a horrific nightmare that I walked into the bathroom and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror – and my lips had a hard extra layer on them, almost black, like an avocado rind.  I had to peel them off – two big lip-shaped pieces – to get back to my normal pink smackers.

It wasn’t as bad as the time I dreamed that I…

You know what, I can’t even say it.  If I wrote what happened in this dream, I can guarantee that no one would ever come back to this blog again.  Some images get burned into the brain forever – and as much as I wish for someone to bear this burden with me, I won’t do it to you.  I will martyr myself on the altar of nightmares for your sake.

Don’t say I never did anything for you.

But seriously – what is going on here?  WHY am I having these horrible dreams?  I don’t watch horror movies.  I’ve never witnessed true atrocities.  And yet, I go to sleep, and am transported to being the central figure in an episode of “Rescue 911.”  The freakshow edition.

Maybe I’m spending too much time alone.

If left to my own devices, I would hang out by myself all the time.

No, really.  All the time.

For the past 6 months or so, I have spent most of my free time alone.  As an introvert, time to recharge is important – but when does it become too much?  When does the self-care become selfish? When does the coddling result in an inadvertent snapped neck?

See.  NIGHTMARE.

Two years

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

I left Seattle two years ago today.

Last year, I wrote a big dramatic soliloquy about my feelings.

This year, I honestly don’t know what to say.

I feel flummoxed.

But wherever you go, there you are.

Whatever that means.

If you cannot read this, you must be using Internet Explorer

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

But if you are using Internet Explorer and you CAN read this, then please disregard – the problem must be fixed?  In any case, down with IE.

Let me tell you about a couple of great things that have happened.  Warning: this post has no unifying thread aside from my two hands, my ten fingers, and my blathering brain churning it all out.

First of all, I had a perfect, flawless, divine flight experience on Monday.  I thought that because it was Labor Day, travel would be a nightmare.  But here are the amazing things about the day:
–    When my parents drove me from Colorado Springs to the airport in Denver, we took E-470, a tollway – but all of the tollbooths were closed.  Free!
–    I made it through security in 10 minutes – probably because I had no frozen meat in my purse.
–    DIA has free Wi-Fi, and I got one of the stools at the table where you can plug in your laptop.
–    I met the aforementioned songwriters.
–    I was reading Stephen King’s “On Writing,” which the songwriters noticed, and thought I was really cool for.
–    The flight left on time.
–    I had a free drink ticket, so I ordered a plastic cup of Chardonnay.
–    The flight arrived early.
–    My suitcase was the first one out at baggage claim.

Come on.  All of those things NEVER happen all in the same day.

When I got home and discovered my driver’s license missing, I thought that my perfect day had been torpedoed.  But the next morning, the airline called and told me that they had found it at security, and they were mailing it to me.  Southwest Airlines, FTW!

Tangent:
my co-worker Danny recently told me
that one of his friends thought that
FTW stood for “for the wind.”
I laughed so hard, I snorted.
I’ve tried to tell my non-internetty friends,
and they don’t find it funny.
If you find it funny,
please validate me and tell me so.
If you don’t find it funny, well.
You’re probably using Internet Explorer.

Last night I went to the gym, and Tuesday nights at the gym are the best, because on Tuesday nights from 9-10pm, they play reruns of “The Office” on TBS.  I spent an episode and a half on the elliptical machine, all alone, but allowing myself to LAUGH OUT LOUD whenever I wanted – which meant that I was laughing for 45 minutes straight.

Another tangent:
for the longest time,
my friend Joey thought that
LOL stood for “lots of love.”
This made me laugh, too.

I have had my buddy Del Barber’s songs running on repeat in my head for a couple of days now – and this is the furthest* thing from a problem.  A few weeks ago, he and Dreadlock Dave stopped in Nashville to crash on the floor of the JAM House, and we had a regular hootenanny (hurray!) in the living room – Del and Neal and I taking turns playing songs.

It was so Nashville.

And finally, speaking of music, my EP is almost finished.  October.  Get ready.

*A free EP to the first person who knows the difference between “furthest” and “farthest.”