December, 2009

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Bad choice

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

I talk to people on the phone all day at work, walking them through various Computer Things.  Yesterday, while the customer’s internet connection was moving slowly and we were waiting for the page to pull up, she decided to make small talk.  She asked me if I’d seen the pictures of the coyote that got hit by the racecar and stuck in the grill – apparently, it’s some amazing “It” email forward out in circulation.

I told her that no, I am out of touch these days.  I don’t even know important things – like if the Taylors are dating – let alone the fate of would-be road-kill.  I am the least “in the know” person around.

So she told me to Google it – to Google “coyote hit by car” – because the pictures are incredible.

Perhaps this goes without saying, and should have been obvious from the start, but THAT WAS THE WORST IDEA EVER AND DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU.

News to me

Monday, December 7th, 2009

I don’t watch the news anymore – ever.  I don’t have time in the morning, I don’t have time at night, and so I just don’t do it.  I mean, I hear things – but I don’t know the stories.  I catch snippets – but don’t know the details.

Currently, I have no idea what the deal with Tiger Woods is – that is, I know that he got in a car crash and then that somehow translated to him being accused of being a total sleazoid, but…  Wait.  Is that the whole story?  That might be the whole story.

Amanda Knox got 26 years in an Italian prison – but honestly, I only learned that because I ran across a picture of her online and liked her jacket.

I have no idea why the blonde Obama Crasher was wearing a sari.

I am embarrassingly out of touch.

Which is why I was shocked to recognize a Zhu Zhu hamster in the hand of a small child yesterday as the one that has recently been recalled.  This little toddler was walking around Marché with – yes! – the light brown version!  Gripped in his grubby little hand!  His parents were calmly eating their eggs, oblivious to the fact that their child was CLUTCHING POISON.  I had a flash of me jumping to my feet, knocking over tables, running in slow motion with my face contorted into that warped “NOOOOOOOO,” with outstretched hands to knock the infected rodent away.

But his parents looked kind of mean.  So I didn’t do anything.

And it’s too bad – if I had, I bet I could have made the news.

Specs

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009

When I was a little girl riding my bike over the adobe hills on the outskirts of Montrose, Colorado, and throwing dry ice bombs into the canal behind the house across the street, and trespassing into various fields in the name of bedlam, my Uncle Chester was busy being a ROCKET SCIENTIST at NASA.  No matter what stupidity you read here, let it be known that there is actual intelligence in the Parsons genes.

We lived thousands of miles apart, and saw each other every couple of years before he died in 1991.  I only have a few memories of him from real life, from real interaction – but one thing is for sure: Uncle Chester wore The Glasses.

You know the ones.

The ones that the scientists wore in “Apollo 13.”

The ones that Squints wore in “The Sandlot.”

And… the ones that the cool kids are apparently wearing now?

Every time I see some hipster in The Glasses, I have to chuckle, and then kind of cringe.  Because if by being related to Uncle Chester I claim that I have a fighting chance at brilliance, then I have to admit that one day, I, too, might look like Buddy Holly.

Never rule anything out.

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Mom’s surgery went really well last night – thank you for all of your well wishes and prayers.

It’s good to be a Parsons

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

For the past several years, Thanksgiving has been the occasion of the Parsons’ Family Christmas Picture.  We usually get some great outtakes – but never so amazing as this.

theshamingofannie

Does anyone know what’s happening here?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Because I have no recollection of this moment.

But clearly, Swayze was wrong: SOMEBODY puts Baby in a corner – and that somebody is Mom.

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Mom’s cancer treatment starts today – major surgery in Denver at 4pm.  Thanks for keeping her in your prayers.