Oh, for the LUV
Written by hootenannie on March 22nd, 2010I’ll just cut to the chase: Southwest Airlines lost my luggage this weekend.
[insert me telling you how this sent me for a minor emotional tailspin, and how I was sick as a dog, and almost broke down and gave up, but soldiered on – for the children, really, and for America]
Flying from Nashville to Austin on Friday night, I was exhausted. I was getting sick – and I had no Kleenex. So on the plane, to my horror and shame, I had no choice but to use my sleeve to wipe my insanely runny nose. Multiple times.
Southwest offered to reimburse me for $50 worth of necessities until they found my bags – which, when you are in town for a wedding, and all you have is the mucus-crusted cardigan on your back, won’t get you very far. But I appreciated the gesture, and went to Target to max out on the necessary toiletries, medications, and two pairs of underwear.
Why two pairs? Because I wasn’t sure what kind of a dress I would wind up wearing, and any woman can tell you that different dresses call for different undergarments. Just… I just needed both pairs, okay? Always be prepared.
I found a dress and shoes at TJ Maxx, took a hot shower, my meds kicked in, and a great time was had by all at Joey and Sam’s fabulous wedding. All’s well that ends well, right?
Not so fast, sparky.
Southwest decided to itemize my Target receipt, saying that they weren’t sure that all of these things were truly “necessary” to my survival without my luggage. Things that made the cut, no questions asked? Cosmetics. Medicine. Eyedrops. Tampons. Thanks, guys, for deeming tampons “necessary.” You are too kind.
The complication? The underwear.
Apparently, because the luggage was returned within 24 hours, only one of the pairs was considered “necessary.” And so there at the Southwest counter, I was asked to indicate which pair I wore that day – bikini or thong. Multiple times, I was asked out loud, “Which pair did you need today? The bikini or the thong?”
You will never know.
But Southwest does.
22
AM
That’s hilarious! I think we need to see a picture of you in the dress so we can guess. Heh.
22
AM
my jaw dropped. unreal.
22
AM
i am stunned annie. absolutely stunned by this story. (and still quietly cracking up a little in my cube…)
22
AM
Really, Southwest? REALLY!? You screw up, then can’t shell out an additional $7 (or whatever) to save a woman her dignity? Reeeeally?!?!
22
AM
I know. Sigh. I know.
The weirdest part? My loyalty to Southwest is unwavering. I will never fly anything but.
Unflappable.
22
AM
So…was it a guy at the counter?
22
AM
Hilarious… and terrible. I’m sorry.
22
AM
UNbelievabl(y hilarious).
22
AM
Wow. Just…wow.
So nice to finally hang out with you and hug you this weekend. We must do it again.
22
AM
if the sw employee you had to talk to was a guy, i just hope that you end up marrying him. …it’s the PERFECT love story.
22
AM
What an ordeal! But the way you tell the story, it hilarious. I’m so glad you can look back on it with a sence of humor.
22
PM
There are no words. I can only imagine. The good news, if they ever make a movie out of your life, what a great scene this will be.
22
PM
i hope you told them the more expensive of the two.
22
PM
you could argue that if tampons are considered a necessity, then 2 pair of underwear in 24 hours is also a necessity. need I say more?
mom
22
PM
MOM.
22
PM
*spits out diet coke*
OMG, thank you. I needed that.
Love you…
22
PM
Bahahaha! You and Mama Parsons are too funny.
And this is a great story.
22
PM
MOM! HAHAHAAAAA
22
PM
Okay, I have returned 4 times today to re-read the story – it’s THAT funny. Would love to hear this told from the perspective of the guy/gal behind the counter…
22
PM
AP how in the WORLD do these things happen to you. HOW?! I’m really kind of jealous– and as a writer, I think you should thank God for these fabulously embarrassing moments. Please never stop sharing them!!! :) Love you!
22
PM
bahahahaha!!! Oh that is just terrible and hilarious and awful and awesome. And your mom’s comment just ups the ante.
By the way … I was looking at your FB pics and you definitely rock out the dresses. I’m a little jealous, not gonna lie :-)
23
AM
this is what movies are made of. This story is crying out for a scene with Jennifer Aniston or sarah jessica parker or some other actress you usually see in movies involving weddings and being flustered and shining it on.
All that to say… hilarious…
23
AM
Laughed out loud…for awhile and then read it again.. still laughing….
23
AM
Oh my goodness Annie! I laughed crazy hard while reading and rereading this. Had to share it with Meaghan too! Love it!
23
PM
Poor Annie!!! But what a great story you have to tell now!
24
AM
So they paid for the entire box of tampons but only one pair of underwear? Did they assume that you needed the entire box for 24 hours? I see inconsistencies in their policy.
25
AM
Too Funny!!!
25
AM
WOW. That is an amazing story. Should have been written as a Seinfeld episode or something… I cannot believe that happened in real life! (Thanks for sharing it, though.)