Hypothetically
Written by hootenannie on June 30th, 2010Let’s pretend that there’s a girl. She’s a nice girl with a lot of friends, and at least moderately interesting. She has hobbies. She has a creative mind. Some might even find her appealing – although a man might have once told her that if a mirror placed beneath a woman’s nose fogs, she is worth chasing… so I suppose that “attraction” is open to interpretation. She is independent, a la Kelly Clarkson and Destiny’s Child – a rent check in one hand and a glass of Pinot in the other.
She has been making her life spin on her own for a good long while now. And while she might like to meet a good man someday, in theory, she would rather be alone than wish that she was.
However, hypothetically speaking, let’s just say that out of curiosity, she decided to try online dating.
And hypothetically, she was matched with this man.*
And while she is sure that he is a very nice person, in this make believe scenario, thus ended the completely theoretical experiment.
*Also, hypothetically, of course, if said girl happened to have an imaginary friend named the Handy Graham, this would, in theory, be his favorite story.
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I don’t understand. I mean, cool sword and he’s got great form.
Ok, wait, clearly he doesn’t mow his yard enough. I see your point – lawn maintenance is important.
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WOW. I can’t believe you would have… hypothetically let THAT go!
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So. Awesome.
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whoa! He’s doing the same pose as me in my photo! Guess I need to change to nun-chucks.
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Dating is supposed to be an adventure, right? I can’t imagine you wouldn’t have had one with this dude! You could always tell him no swords until the second date!
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HA! In my morning filled with poop filled diapers, toddlers singing loudly and a hungry newborn that won’t leave my boob – you TOTALLY cracked me up. Yeah. I’m still laughing.
I love your hypothetical adventures. :)
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Oh Annie, I love you and this post. That is a pretty sweet blue jumpsuit? or are those sweat pants?
Hypothetically speaking of course, just imagine the stories that could be told about the date with this man.
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Are you sure that’s a guy? I thought I saw some boobs. Sorry to say boobs on your blog.
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There is a LOT to be said for a man that can protect his woman… this dude(?)’s obviously got some skills… Safety first… right?
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Sweet Moves!
I too recently tried online dating and was immediatly matched with not one, but two ex-girlfriends. Talk about awkward!
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My old boss met her husband through online dating. They’ve been married 5 years & have almost three year old twins. So it COULD work. Hypothetically. But maybe not with this guy.
P.S. I just listened to that song the other day – you have such a lovely voice.
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If you won’t follow this man to the ends of the earth, then by golly I will.
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I totally understand where you’re coming from here. I mean, what kind of ninja shows his face on the internet? What kind of ninja wears BLUE SWEATPANTS, dang it? Get me a real shadow warrior, and then we’ll talk.
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I’m laughing too hard to come up with a witty reply. Awesome!
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A couple of weeks ago during a service project with some folks from Convergence (what used to be Tues Evening) I was pulling weeds with some gals and the conversation turned to internet dating. We each shared our worst profile/profile pic story and I learned that I should have been taking screen shots of the most craptastic and entertaining profiles to share. Oh my goodness! So thanks for sharing. Wow oh wow.
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THAT PHOTO IS A WORLD OF NO!!
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Reason number 23432343 why online dating SUCKS! Except for those wonderful people for whom it works like my former classmate and former room mate.
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are those hypothetical breasts?
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Oh MY! That’s all.
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Oh wow.
I really wish I could have heard the conversation between the photographer and blue-manchu.
“Oh man, this is great!”
“The chicks are going to LOVE THIS!”
GAH! Thanks for sharing!
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Please, hypothetically try again. We are heading to Atlanta tomorrow for a marriage that started out as an internet relationship. There are a lot of kooks out there, so beware, but hypothetically it’s not a bad way to go. I would marry you in a heartbeat, but OH, I’m already married and OH, I’m not a guy and OH, I’m really old. But otherwise, I think you’d make anyone a perfect match!
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bluebs.
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This makes my heart so happy.
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these comments are almost as funny as this hypotetical story. bless his heart.
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I have not laughed that hard in many moons. I went into silent laugh mode rocking back and forth in my chair while reading this. I love you for this.
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Wow.
I really hope that guy(?) just took that photo because he lost a bet or because someone double dog dared him to put on a giant blue onesie, wrap electrical tape around his waste, throw on his mom’s bra, and pose like a power ranger with a pirate sword.
If it’s for real, and if this hypothetical site ever finds him a match we should all declare it the best dating service in the history of the human race.
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*spits out coffee*
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OH NO HE DIIN’T!
Oh. My.
Just…
Wow.
And…
Awesome.
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this made me laugh.
and i needed that today.
thanks.
haha.
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HAHAHAHAHAH Wow. Now, I won’t say that Kyle isn’t a bit nerdy. He is a LOT nerdy, actually. However, at least he’s aware enough of the way girls work to hide his action figure collection until he figured it was safe and I wouldn’t run away. Very nearly 4 years after meeting on Craig’s List, we’re still together. You just have to sift through the SUPER weird weirdos to find the acceptably weird weirdos. ;)
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HOW did I miss commenting on this the first time around?
This puts Poem Boy to shame. This is amazing. Incredible. And also wonderful.
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My sister tried online dating in Denver. It also didn’t work out, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t good ones out there – I have friends that have met online and stayed together. It’s not for me, though – I’m not much of a risk-taker. In person, the super weird guys can’t hide for long :).