December, 2010

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A short post consisting entirely of baseball-related idioms

Wednesday, December 15th, 2010

I’m far from a major leaguer, but I don’t think I’m off base in saying that today I’m throwing you a curveball.

This may come out of left field, but today, I’m in a bit of a pickle. It seems that the Natural me is taking a rain check, so screwball me is pinch hitting.  The Natural me is on deck for tomorrow, but until then, it’s a whole new ball game. I’m hardly batting a thousand, but I hope I’m at least in the ballpark.

This whole thing is probably hit or miss, and now I’m down to the last out. But it ain’t over til it’s over, and there’s still a chance I’ve knocked it out of the park. Be sure to touch base and let me know.

Holy Môlé

Tuesday, December 14th, 2010

The best LÄRABAR that ever existed was Cocoa Môlé – but earlier this fall, they retired the flavor, so I gnashed my teeth and tore my sackcloth.

But late on Friday afternoon, Miranda pointed me toward an announcement on their Facebook wall:

We just uncovered 35 boxes of Cocoa Môlé (16 bars/box). It’s the last of the stash and everyone here agrees that we should give them away. Since we only have a small amount, we’re asking that you share with us an ‘Ode to Môlé’ – a video, a song, an illustration, something that demonstrates how deeply you care for that lovable Cocoa Môlé. Good luck!

So on Saturday, I wrote a little song.

And yesterday at work, Miles and I made a little video.

Behold:

Holy Môlé from Annie Parsons on Vimeo.

I hope “Holy Môlé” is stuck in your head all day long.  And I really, really hope they send me a box.

Phone woe

Monday, December 13th, 2010

My cell phone plan is with Verizon – because yes, I can hear you now.

The best phone I’ve ever had is the LG 8300 – the flip-phone of GLORY, that’s what.  It was perfect – curved naturally to the shape of my face, easy to find at the bottom of a bottomless purse, navigable.

No, it wasn’t as cool as an iPhone.  Sure, I had to text my name “2 – 66 – 66 – 444 – 33.”  Yes, I felt like a loser when I had to ask what an “app” was.

But the LG 8300 was like my 1990 Honda Accord in that, although brokeass and jankety, it never let me down.  I loved it so much that I kept it for 4 years – longer than I’ve ever had a boyfriend or an apartment or a job.  But this summer, it started to freak out, and I knew that it was only a matter of time before it died completely.  So in September, I threw a hissy fit, prayed the Serenity Prayer, and drove myself to the worst place on earth – the Verizon store – to get a new phone.

People.  I have no words to describe how much I hate my new phone.

It’s a Samsung slab of horror.

I hate it more than I hate peas, more than I hate Nashville summers, more than I hate superfluous exclamation points.  I don’t hate it as much as I hate animal abuse, or, you know, WAR.  But it’s up there.

This phone is to me as Toby is to Michael Scott.

The buttons are tiny and hard to press.  The font on the screen is ugly.  Anytime I want to do anything, I have to press two magical buttons to “unlock” it.  It has horrid ringtones.  Anything I try to do, it does the opposite.  It’s too skinny to find in my purse.  Sometimes I accidentally hit a button on the side and it starts talking.  The fact that it even exists makes me want to scream.

And, well.  That’s all.

I guess I’ll go to work now.

Moving on up

Thursday, December 9th, 2010

Nashville – #10
Denver – #9

Apparently, I’m getting prettier.

Also: woe to Memphis.

So on, so forth

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

I am so glad that Facebook did not exist when I was in high school.  That would have been a complete gong show.

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Night two of recording last night.  The boys – that would be Miles, Jairo, and Art, all of whom have remarkable hair – sound so good.  I’m ready to saaaang tomorrow.

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2011 is taking shape in my calendar.  Good things ahead.

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Anything I should know?  Random facts?  Personal disclosures?  Just checking.

From Head To Foot

Tuesday, December 7th, 2010

You know my friend Annie Downs?

Of course you do.  She is famous in the blog world, famous in Nashville, famous in my heart, and now, famous in honest-to-goodness book print.

When I first met Annie several years ago, she was in the beginning stages of writing a book.  She wrote and wrote and wrote, more words than I have ever strung together.  She poured her heart and her time and her stories into this book – and now it’s finally ready for you to read.

Anyone who knows Annie in real life knows that she’s the greatest to hang around.  She is honest and funny and loves people like she means it.  She draws people in like a moth to the flame – except in the end, the moth doesn’t burn to death, so it’s actually not like a moth to the flame at all.  It’s more like cartoon birds and chipmunks being drawn to Cinderella’s song, or me being drawn to men with scruff.  (Please note that Annie Downs does not have scruff.)

Here’s the crazy thing: so much of the good that is Annie translates directly over to the way that she writes.  I’m only a few chapters into this book, and reading it feels like we’re sitting across the table from each other, hashing out the good, the bad, and the ugly.  The girl is gifted.

For those of you who can’t get enough of her hysterical, heart-felt blog, you will definitely want to grab a copy of “From Head To Foot.”  It’s geared toward young women – and chances are that you either are a young woman or you know a young woman, so order one or five or enough for all of the high schoolers at your church.

It’s a really cool thing to watch a friend’s dream come true.  Annie Downs is doing one of the many things that she’s meant to do – writing good, truthful, life-giving words, and sharing them with others.  It’s a big deal.  It’s a great story.  I’m so proud to call her my friend.

Bloom

Monday, December 6th, 2010

Hope isn’t always an easy thing, and it doesn’t always feel very natural.  But I’m learning that hope is more than a feeling (more than a feeeeeelingg…) – it’s a choice, a deliberate commitment, like exercise, or saving your money instead of spending it.  It’s the wiser, healthier decision – the one that will bring the biggest payoff, even when it doesn’t feel like it at the time.

Recently, I’ve experienced discouragement and disappointment and hurt – to the point that I’ve stopped hoping for anything, because hoping hasn’t felt easy.  I’ve snuggled up with loneliness, curled my back to hopelessness, and taken comfort in the company of emptiness because it’s what has felt most real.  Hope hasn’t felt real – it’s felt imaginary, like playing pretend, like inventing some mythical creature and expecting it to materialize in front of me.

But the rejection of hope is actually to my detriment.  It makes me an ugly person, a bitter person, one with walls and suspicions and frown lines.  And moreover, as a Christian, I am called to hope, commanded to hope, even when it feels dangerous because of the possibility of pain and disappointment.

It might get cold, and all of our leaves may fall off, and our branches may crack – but hope is trusting that our roots will hold, and spring is going to come, and something is going to bloom again.

It’s just that what blooms might not be what we’re expecting.

Starting tonight

Thursday, December 2nd, 2010

I secretly believed that if I didn’t post any blogs in November, I would still continue to write and stockpile posts so that when December rolled around, I would have an arsenal to draw from.

That didn’t happen. At all. In fact, I’m checking my computer for any scraps I may have written that I could form into a full post today, and all I can find is a short snippet about watching “The Business of Being Born,” and how I could have gone my whole life without seeing Ricki Lake naked in a bathtub, and ending with something along the lines of “I prefer my birth tidy.”

And yes, I know that statement will come back to bite me someday.  Something about placenta?

What I DID write in November is three new songs, and I’m recording demos while I’m here in Nashville – starting after work tonight. The process of writing these songs was different than it has been in the past, maybe because of the long creative drought that preceded it, or maybe because I moved 1,200 miles away from the weird comparison game that goes along with living in Nashville, or maybe just because the past year has included some personal earthquakes – things I haven’t written about here, but that have rattled me in a very real way.

As a result, I have no idea if these songs are any “good” – but I know that they mean a little something to me. It feels good to have something new to share.

Living proof

Wednesday, December 1st, 2010

I’m baaaaaack…

I missed you.  I missed blogging.  Blogging is the only fool-proof way to make sure that someone pays attention to me every day.

Just kidding!  People pay attention to me when I steal, too.

I made a video, but I’ve been having technological troubles of the worst degree, so it’s fuzzy.  Sorry.  My only piece of advice is that for best results, you should probably STAND BACK.

(Song: “Too Late” by Emily DeLoach)

Living Proof from Annie Parsons on Vimeo.