Confession: I want to be awesome.
Fun. Smart. Witty. Talented. Cool. Not necessarily “together,” but at least effortlessly disheveled. Not necessarily “popular,” but at least able to be choosy. Not necessarily “rich,” but… Fine. Sometimes I want to be rich.
But, you know, life can be boring. Life can fly by without the luxury of those cute moments – the times where a surprise comment in the grocery makes you feel validated, or a silly joke makes you side-smile, or a flower growing out of a sidewalk crack makes you think about life and death and God and beauty.
Life doesn’t always afford us those cute moments.
And it’s not that it’s ugly and awful and torturous. It’s just… daily. And busy. It doesn’t leave much room for the fabulous, as much as I would like for it to. The busyness expands, and balloons, and bullies its way into every corner of our lives, and makes us feel ugly and tired and unfocused.
Sometimes, some days, the most excitement we have is killing a spider before it makes it under the couch. Eyeliner is the only tool we have to feel any semblance of “pretty.” We cling to the satisfaction of having paid our bills this month, because that’s just about the only accomplishment we can pinpoint.
Life can be so daily. Life can leave us feeling un-awesome.
Even now, my temptation is to steer this post into some charming little twist, some cute phrase that will leave you all with a grin and a vision of me, “C’est la vie!” skipping off through a field to make daisy chains out of the weeds.
But the truth is that I’m sunburned and muscle-sore and fly-bitten, and a little bit cranky because I don’t think I got the recycling bin out to the curb on time this morning. The Greebs tore apart my new box of Kleenex, and I returned a new purchase from Target because Dave Ramsey would have shame-shamed me. I’m trying to figure out how to work in my workouts this week, and wishing for quick fixes and easy answers and smooth sailing.
In short, today, I’m not feeling that awesome.
But I’ve lived enough dramatic excitement to know that the quiet, daily, dare I say boring moments are to be blessed. I’ll live to see another fabulous day – but for now, it’s business as usual on a Monday.
I’m choosing to be thankful.