My [perhaps not justified] opinions

blog

There are certain words and phrases that I do not – and will never – allow in my vocabulary.

The first thing is using “boo” as a term of endearment.  I have plenty of sweet, intelligent, fabulous friends who call their friends and/or significant others “boo,” and while I still love them, every time they do, I die a little inside.  You might argue that this is because I don’t have a significant other (thank you for the reminder), but trust me – the minute I’m no longer between boyfriends, I will feel just as strongly as I do today.

The next thing is calling a girl friend “lady.”  I think that my least favorite way to be greeted is “Heeeyyyyy, lady!”  This happens all the time.  ALL THE TIME.  If you’re a girl (or, as a friend reminded me the other day, a gay man), start listening for it – and just try to not cringe.

When Americans fly to Europe – specifically the UK – and they say they’re going to “hop the pond,” I’m torn between a strong desire to roll my eyes or to punch them in the face.  It’s not a pond, it’s the Atlantic Ocean.  I can’t think of a really good reason for me to get so worked up about this one, but it just bugs me, okay?  It reminds me of that oft-used Australian phrase, “Let’s put another shrimp on the bar-b!” that probably no one in Australia has ever actually said.

I will never shorten “totally” to “totes.”
Or “adorable” to “adorbs.”
Therefore, “totes adorbs” shall never pass my lips.

I probably have a ton of other words and phrases that I could find something wrong with or annoying about, because as my family can well attest to, one of my most natural states is “opinionated irritation.”  And maybe I’m getting all hot and bothered for no good reason, since, hello – they’re just words.

But so far this morning, I’ve had to clean up dog poop from the carpet and then kill a spider that I found CRAWLING UP MY SWEATSHIRT, so I think I should be allowed to simply mention some words that annoy me.  I don’t know how one justifies the other, but it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.

share:

15 Comments

  1. Lan on October 20, 2011 at 9:19 AM

    i hate the spelling of the shortened word PROBABLY to “prolly”

    as a vietnamese person, i’m thrilled that PHO is so popular now but i dislike restaurants and people who use the word in catch phrases like “pho sho” or “pho-nomenal”.

    i personally say “boo” often, only because my cousin’s name is Buu (short for Buu-linh) but i understand your dislike.

  2. Greta on October 20, 2011 at 9:28 AM

    My usage:
    Boo– never
    Lady– sometimes
    Hop the pond– I have definitely used this before. Mostly because the Scotsman I used to sigh over used it first and I thought it was clever and brilliant and sigh-worthy.
    totes adorbs– tongue-in-cheek, mos def used.

    I’m 4 out of 5. But I’m your best friend, so you have to love me anyway.

    BUT, a solemn promise: I will avoid such words with you and our emails will still be the best emails.

  3. Annie on October 20, 2011 at 9:50 AM

    I’m really against the shortening of “precious” to “presh.” There is nothing precious about saying “presh,” but maybe that’s just me.

  4. Julie on October 20, 2011 at 10:28 AM

    This is great, Annie. TotALLY agree. I only use “boo” to scare people.

    :)

  5. Bree Jeffries on October 20, 2011 at 11:31 AM

    Not TOTALLY related, but a good read, nonetheless:
    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html

    Actually, most of what she writes (and draws) is HILARIOUS! I particularly like:
    *Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving
    *How a Fish Almost Destroyed My Childhood
    *The Party
    *Wolves
    …. so many good laughs! Hope you enjoy them, too!

  6. Muggs on October 20, 2011 at 12:39 PM

    Add to that “hubby?” ICAN’T ABIDE THAT ONE!!!!

  7. paul on October 20, 2011 at 2:52 PM

    love this post! I could add about 100 more phrases people say that drive me nuts. q: when will the next hootnannie video be made? I love you videos!!

  8. stephanie on October 20, 2011 at 7:26 PM

    Ooh. I started saying “totes” to be IRONIC, but of course that has backfired and I just say it all the time now. I also have a terrible habit of adding random “s”-es to words when I’m being slang-y. It’s pretty gross.

  9. Bethany on October 20, 2011 at 10:34 PM

    Agreed on all counts. Currently working really hard to not swat the person I just committed to love at all times when he routinely uses phrases like “for realsies”, “rock the awesomeness”, and “tote otes”.
    It’s hard.

  10. Dana on October 21, 2011 at 9:04 AM

    How about when girls shorten their friends’ names like Megan to Megz. It doesn’t bother me if that is really their nickname and everyone calls them that BUT it gets really obnoxious when every Facebook caption is I love Linz and the next is I love Bekz.

  11. Emily from Seattle on October 21, 2011 at 12:29 PM

    I’m just about to finish up a three month stay in London, and I can promise you that I have never, ever referred to the big water that separates the U.S. and the U.K. as “the pond.” :D

  12. Mandy on October 22, 2011 at 10:14 PM

    Okay so until reading this post, I had never heard anyone says “adorbs” and cringed when I read it. Today we took Ariel to a pumpkin patch and this kid was dressed as Batman and was too cute. I told his mom I thought so and she full on said “Yeah, he’s pretty adorbs.” I almost threw up on his little Batman cape right there.

  13. Lauren on October 27, 2011 at 12:54 PM

    Okay I completed related to this post! How about this one? I have several friends who say “cray cray” instead of saying “That’s crazy!”…

  14. Pamela | Girl Gone West on October 30, 2011 at 9:05 PM

    Just another reason why your blog is eloquent and powerful and well-read, and mine is…well, an online diary.

    I totes still love you, lady. :)

  15. Gina on November 9, 2011 at 4:32 PM

    For me it’s all of the following:

    lol, rofl, jk, gr8, g2g, me 2, etc. Anything considered “text talk,” really.

    The other one that bothers me (but I should probably let go) is: “ok” Actually, it’s supposed to be written “okay” or capitalized “OK.”

    Professionally I’m an editor so that one is allowed to bother me, right?

Leave a Comment