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The baby squirrel, and all that followed

Tuesday, September 1st, 2015

My sister Becca has this story. And I’ve asked her to tell it to me, like, three times because it’s so good. Now I want to share it with you.

Awhile back, Becca found a baby squirrel alone in her driveway. Here it was:

babysquirrel

Her dogs were barking, and she knew she couldn’t leave it – so she did what any animal lover would do: she wrapped it in a towel, brought it inside, and put it in a puppy kennel.

She called Animal Control, but got a voicemail message. “If this is an emergency, call State Patrol,” it said. So she called State Patrol.

A gruff man answered: “State Patrol.”

“Um, is this where I should call if I found a baby squirrel?” Becca asked.

Silence.

State Patrol was obviously no help, so she did an internet search and got the contact information for a wildlife sanctuary called Squirrel Creek. She got in touch with the nicest man, who told her to yeah, sure, bring the squirrel on down!

So she and her husband Mike drove down to Littleton after work, and pulled up at a huge lodge. They were confused because it looked like a business – a restaurant, even – but when they knocked on the door, a lone man answered. “Come on in!” he said.

They walked into a huge, empty banquet room, complete with a full bar and everything. “So, what is this place?” Mike asked.

“Oh, it’s a wildlife refuge. Also, a restaurant and a bar and a swing club and an events center.” With visions of swing dancing happening on the dance floor, Becca and Mike left the squirrel and headed home.

Becca posted an update on Facebook, telling her friends that the baby squirrel had been taken care of, and gave a shout-out to Squirrel Creek for being so great. They told all of their friends about this cool place down in Littleton – and maybe they should all go sometime?

Until one of their friends googled it. And they found this:

Screen Shot 2015-09-11 at 9.42.48 PM

They’d invited all of their friends to a 50,000 MEMBER SWINGERS CLUB. (Also a wildlife sanctuary. Of course.)

A new commute

Monday, October 28th, 2013

Do you read Brendan Leonard’s blog Semi-Rad? You should.

A description of the site:
“Semi-Rad is enthusiasm for things regular folks can do. It’s what can be done with 52 weekends and a few weeks of vacation a year. It’s adventures for the everyman and woman. It’s a web site for those of us crushing it, kind of.”

As a girl who loves adventures but isn’t straight-up bonkers, this is my kind of philosophy. But given that the things that Brendan does are decidedly “radder” than what I do, I suppose that makes me… Semi-Semi-Rad? A Semi-Radlette?

Anyway, awhile back Brendan wrote a post called “9 Reasons Why You Should Never Bike to Work.” And I realized that I’d used just about every excuse he listed.

The truth is that I work 3 miles from my house, and with the exception of 2 blocks on either end, there’s a bike path the entire way. The truth is that the majority of places I drive to around town are fewer than 5 miles away. The truth is that I go through close to 3 tanks of gas each month, even when I don’t leave town. The truth is that I work with all women so there’s no pressure to look perfect every day (and I appreciate it, ladies). The truth is that there’s no reason for me not to bike to work.

So I bought a bike off of Craigslist on Saturday morning – an un-sexy hybrid with a big cushy seat, so I can ride like the queen I am. The weekend was spent riding around Denver in glorious weather; I had forgotten how joyful it is to ride a bike. I rode to work this morning and made it in less time it would have taken me to drive. I showed up at the office with fresh air in my lungs and a smile on my face, ready to conquer the week – and I can’t wait to do it again tomorrow.

For obvious reasons, riding a bike is good for the environment, my health, and my bank account. And I’m really excited to become just a tiny bit more rad.

A few good men

Thursday, June 13th, 2013

The first half of 2013 was a busy time for the Parsons – my sister Becca got married in January, and my sister Sarah got married in April.

In the past, the thought of “brother-in-law” never really crossed my mind. I’ve had a sister-in-law (the world’s best) since I was 18, but that’s as far as my in-law reality stretched; I never spent much time thinking about what my sisters’ future partners would be like – probably because I assumed I’d have a husband before I had a brother-in-law. Courtesy chuckle.

But then, in quick succession, my younger sisters married really, really wonderful guys. Our family has grown by 2 this year (well, 3 if you count Becca’s new puppy the Grizz), and these guys have joined the circus that is the Parsons with grace and humor and generosity and care. I’m so thankful that we all love them (I’m sure they’re thankful for that, too – because we can be a cantankerous bunch).

My brother and sister-in-law captured Becca and Michael’s wedding back in January, and have done it again for Sarah and Creighton. The full post is here – and a glimpse is below. My favorite part (besides Micah and Tyler as hobbits, obviously, and Zion with the Grizz) is the look on Creighton and Sarah’s faces.

the day sarah and creighton got married. from WE ARE THE PARSONS on Vimeo.

In the words of Jo March, “I could never love anyone as I love my sisters.” And today, I’m thankful for the good men who love them, too.

My one wild and precious life

Tuesday, August 28th, 2012

On Friday morning, I went skydiving – and I smiled the entire time.  Do you need proof?  Oh, I have proof.

Here I am with my dad beforehand.  Smiling.

Here I am about to climb onto the plane with my instructor/partner/my-entire-life-is-in-your-hands guy, Matt.  Smiling.

Here I am in mid-air.  SMILING LIKE IT’S THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED.

(Come on, is that not the HAPPIEST you have ever seen me?)

And here I am, windblown but safe and sound on the ground with Matt.  Smiling.  Smiling.  Smiling.

As one with a historic fear of heights and smashing and death, skydiving might seem the wrong activity – but I can honestly say that my fears never came into play that morning.  I showed up calm, put on a jumpsuit, pulled my hair back into a ponytail – and then, jumped out of an airplane.

In a culture full of suspicion and defense, it’s a magnificent thing to trust a perfect stranger with your life.  I had no idea what I was doing – didn’t even read the release form as I signed it (which is probably for the best) – but I never questioned the instructions I got from Matt.  I took him at his word.  And as vulnerable as that may have made me, I never felt afraid.

I did, however, scream involuntarily for long stretches of time.  I couldn’t help that part.

Mary Oliver asked, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”  I hope that my answer always includes an amount of risk, the extension of trust, and falling face-forward into whatever may come… wearing a gigantic smile.

What I made on Sunday

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011

Power up

Thursday, July 21st, 2011

I think my nephew missed the point of the Sunday School lesson.

Damn, girl.

Monday, July 18th, 2011

Before you hear this little story, there are two things you should know.

1) My sister Becca is definitely a looker: funky and darling and adorable.  She has a heart-shaped face and a great figure and awesome hair.  It’s never a surprise when a dude finds her attractive.

2) Sloan’s Lake, our new neighborhood, is… colorful.  Interesting.  Slightly ghetto.

Got those two facts?  Okay.  Here’s what happened on Saturday.

Becca was walking around the lake, and when a certain man passed her, he looked her up and down and said, “Damn, girl – you look beautiful!”

And despite Becca’s aforementioned beauty, when she relayed this story to me, we both laughed until we cried.

Because this is what she was wearing:

Damn, girl, indeed.

(I’m still laughing.)

Announcing…

Thursday, March 17th, 2011

It’s been a long time.

I’ve searched and searched.

I’ve been scammed.

I’ve been disappointed.

I’ve been tempted to give up all hope.

But yesterday, my dreams came true.

Because when it comes to a car hunt, you can’t just be ruthless.

Be Subaruthless.

Tom Hanks as Animals

Friday, February 18th, 2011

Do you know about this site?

Please tell me you know about this site.

The most artistic Parsons

Wednesday, January 26th, 2011

My sister Becca is a great gift-giver.  She puts a lot of time and thought and effort into the things that she gives people – and this past Christmas was no exception.

In addition to our “real” presents, she made everyone in our family an awesome dog portrait.  Weird?  NOT IF YOU’RE A PARSONS.

Becca knows that I like those dogs with floppy hair that falls into their eyes, so she made me this:

Isn’t that amazing?  I love it so much.  He’s my imaginary dog – the one that doesn’t care if I leave town for the weekend, or if I don’t come home for 12 hours straight, or if I don’t feed him.  He’s the best.

I think Becca should start a pet portrait business.  All in favor, say aye.