Confusion

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Hide-a-man

Monday, June 22nd, 2015

If you want to feel like a paranoid detective, vacillating between despair, outrage, and downright morbid terror, watch Broadchurch. Despite my glowing summation, I promise you it is the best show I’ve watched in ages. Season 1 is only eight episodes, and you will devour them like a half-starved bloodhound. (But seriously, a horrifying plot – a murder mystery surrounding the death of an 11-year old boy – that might make it hard to sleep at night. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

Broadchurch murder on back burner

All that to say, I’ve had morbidity on the brain.

So today when I was speaking to a Minneapolitan realtor about the neighborhood in which I’m buying a house (the lovely Bryn Mawr) and he told me it was a “hide-a-man area,” I froze.

“What do you mean, ‘hide-a-man’?” I asked. “Have they seriously found bodies here?”

He blinked. And then,

“I said ‘high demand.’”

Winning people over right and left!

Time to face the fax

Tuesday, April 14th, 2015

Here is a verbatim transcription of a voicemail I received today.

Hey Anne, this is Customer Service at Blue Cross Blue Shield. And I see you spoke to someone on 4/9 (about 5 days ago) and she gave you a fax number – I didn’t see a fax come in yet, so, um. If we do receive a fax or if you’re getting ready to fax something or just faxed it it’s best to do it during our business hours, which is Central Time, 7am to 8pm or Fridays 9am-8pm, so we can identify the fax and get it worked on. If we don’t expect a fax it just goes to an electronic place – a fax folder – so. If you haven’t faxed it yet, we’ll open a new inquiry based on the receipt of the new fax. So if you’re getting ready to fax it, give us a call at Customer Service. And if you just faxed it or you’re getting ready to fax something, give us a call at that time so we can attach the fax to the work and get it worked on right away. Otherwise, if we don’t get any heads up, let’s say, we might not get a look at the fax right away because there’s no one manning the fax machine. So let us know when you’re going to fax it or if you just faxed it so we can attach work to it and get it worked on right away. Thanks.

Fax count? 18.

The amount I understand why faxing is still a thing? Zero.

Poor Casey

Wednesday, April 13th, 2011

Me: How can I help you?
Her: Can I speak with Casey?  She emailed me.
Me: Casey is actually a guy.
Her: Oh, really?  Can I speak to her?
Me: The Casey that you got an email from is a guy.
Her: Okay.  What do I do?
Me: Is there something I can help you with?
Her: If I just respond to Casey’s email, will she write me back?
Me: Yes, if you respond to Casey’s email, he will get it and respond.
Her: Okay I’ll just write her back.
Me: Okay, bye.

Different

Thursday, June 3rd, 2010

I’ve been doing some thinking.  I’ve been crunching some numbers.

To accomplish Tuesday’s boldly declared goal, I would have to walk 10.6 miles a day, every day, for the next 94 days.  And seeing as how I have walked 0 miles since Monday, I’m thinking that 1,000 before Labor Day may have been a WEE bit overly ambitious.

Oh well – I am still going to walk.  I will walk until kingdom come.  And mark my words: I WILL climb at least 6 14ers this summer.  That, gentlefolk, is money in the bank.

– – – – – – – –

A few years ago, I saw Rosie O’Donnell on one of the morning news shows – you know, when I still had a TV and Rosie still had the media’s love and devotion.  The interviewer asked her if she could go back and tell her younger self one thing, what would it be?

I’ll never forget Rosie’s response.  She said, “I would tell myself that everything is going to happen, just like you dreamed – it’s just going to feel differently than what you expected.”

I don’t know why, but I’m kind of experiencing some of that right now.