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Tell me a story

Friday, June 26th, 2009

Before I begin, let’s all just take a minute to acknowledge the huge thing that happened yesterday.  The thing that made the world feel small – like everyone, no matter what culture, tribe, or tongue, agreed was a big event.  An incident that shook us out of our day-to-day reality, and made us think about what is really important in life.  A happening resulting in headlines, workplace chatter, and blog posts.


And she looks fab.  Give her a cat-call, a high-five, and – my own personal favorite display of affection – a quick palm-circle-rub on the back.

In other news, there are a few things that I’ve decided that I “need”: a pair of black heels (how do I not own a pair of black heels?), a soft case for my guitar, and a new [insert the engine part that keeps my car quiet and not shaky] in my Honda.

Instead, you want to know what I’ve been doing with my hard-earned cash?  Donating it to This American Life.  Only twice, but still.  Shouldn’t I be allocating my limited funds some place other than to what could be a FREE podcast?  I feel like I am telling you my secret shame – confessing something I shouldn’t – like how I feign a healthy diet only to shovel cupcake icing into my mouth when no one is watching.

But I can’t help it.  Ira Glass is my geek crush.  He tells me the best stories out of anyone.  And then he asks me to give money (“One dollar – five dollars – whatever you can spare.  What kind of person do you want to be – someone who contributes, or someone who sits back and assumes someone else will take care of it?  Do your part, so we can do ours.”), and I’m like, IRA I WILL DO ANYTHING.

Seriously, though.  What a guy.


"That woman"

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Quick show of hands – who here has had a crush? At some point? At any point?

You, without your hand raised: you are a liar.

If you have ever had a crush, well then. Go listen to my latest song, “Make a Mess,” on my MySpace. I feel confident in saying that I love this one. We just finished it, and I think that Josh is a sonic genius. The textures and lovely sounds that he layers on my tracks make me so happy. I have amazingly talented friends – ones who are far more gifted than I – and for that, I’m so grateful.

Speaking of songs, a few weeks ago I played a few songs at a show in East Nashville. My good friend Paul was playing, too, and so we chimed in on each other’s songs – singing harmonies and whatnot. I just got an email from Paul saying that he was talking to someone who had been at the show, and she told him, “You did a great job – and it was very nice of that woman to sing with you.”

“That woman.”

For some reason, this makes me laugh so hard! Welcome to womanhood, Annie. You’ve officially been accepted*.

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* Paul would like me to announce to the blog world that when he sent me the email relaying this woman’s comment, his exact words were, “Welcome to adulthood, you’ve been accepted.” He felt that I plagiarized him in this post – to which I reply, “So?”


Tuesday, November 18th, 2008

Mom just emailed and said that I sound “edgy” today. I feel edgy.
But not in a mean-spirited, “ding-dong, flaming sack of dog crap on your doorstep” kind of way.

More of an “I’m about to drink an entire bottle of wine and go blow all my rent money at Anthropologie, so help me God” kind of way.

Interventions (or bottles of Syrah) accepted.

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In recent conversations about dating, I have said to several people, “I’ve dated boys. I’m kind of in the market for a man.”

Last night, a friend said, “Define ‘man.’” And then I kicked him in the face. Because I don’t know what I mean by “man.”

– – – – – – – –

I want to be with someone who I’m crazy about, who is crazy about me.
I want to be with someone who is interesting, who is interested in me.
I love crushes, and I hate them.
But I’m glad to know that I am capable of having one.

– – – – – – – –

If my life ever flashes before my eyes, I hope that one of the highlighted memories will be the moment I turned my Honda east on I-90, leaving Seattle for the unknown, equal parts terrified and liberated and devastated and thrilled, having no idea that that feeling would remain with me for the next 14-months and counting.

– – – – – – – –

On the elevator…
Me: Don’t you hate awkward elevator interactions?

– – – – – – – –

I am convinced that one of the Top 3 Things About Heaven is going to be the fact that I will not have to count calories.

– – – – – – – –

Here is what I would like today:
– To leave work early
– To crawl into my bed and stay warm
– To take an Excedrin Back & Body capsule
– To have someone pet my head
– To take a nap that lasts 15 hours


Thursday, May 22nd, 2008

It appears as though Jim Halpert may have a run for his money.

This was the world’s most humble and magnanimous win I have ever witnessed. I am blown away by this man. His modesty and grace make him so likable, I can hardly stand it.

David Cook has cemented himself into my heart, and single-handedly convinced it to beat again. If you need me, I’ll just be over here swooning.

PS: All of my big talk about hating men in vests? Retracted. Revoked. Reversed.

A most blog-worthy crush

Tuesday, October 9th, 2007

Something has happened. Something big. I expected that this might occur in these months of meeting tons of new people – and whaddayaknow – it did. I have developed an enormous, impossible crush.

We were actually introduced a couple of years ago, but fell out of contact for the past year or so. Since I left on The Big Trip, he and I reconnected… and the sparks flew. At least on my end. He isn’t actually aware that we’re meant to be together.

My first-ever crush was Captain Von Trapp. Strong and stoic and incredibly handsome, my 6-year old self dreamed of marrying him someday. But eventually, I decided he was too old for me, and moved on to Elijah Wood. ‘Lij (as his friends called him, according to Big Bop magazine) was the first boy to grace my bedroom wall via a centerfold poster from a teen magazine, but after my siblings made fun of me, his poster moved to the wall in the back of my closet where I could meet his piercing blue eyes whenever I pulled a sweater from the hanger.

Then, along came Devon Sawa. This blonde heartthrob was enough to make Christina Ricci stop taping her boobs in “Now and Then,” and believe me, if I had had any chest to speak of when I was 12 years old, I would have done the same. He and Brad Renfro vied for the title of “best bad boy” for a couple of years – although Brad is the one who actually eventually earned himself a criminal record.

Christian Bale rocked my world as Jack Kelly in “Newsies,” and later as Laurie in “Little Women.” He… kind of still rocks my world.

Along with Joey Potter, I vacillated between Dawson and Pacey. Boy next door? Or hottie from troubled background and unstable family – rough around the edges, with a tendency to drink and fight too much, but probably a good kisser? Yeah. Definitely Pacey.

N’SYNC hit the scene the summer that I turned 16, and although I was probably too old for the mania, I joined right in. I couldn’t help it. JC Chasez? Justin Timberlake? Too hot for the Disney Channel. I even had a thing for Lance before… well, you know. I saw them live at Mile High Stadium in Denver, and I don’t know that I have ever screamed so loud. Anyone who thinks of teenage girls as weak and ineffective have obviously never seen them in the vicinity of the band for which Sisqo was the opening act.

Many have come and gone, and a small number of bizarre man-crushes will continue for all perpetuity (John Cusack, Dennis Quaid, and Mark Harmon, to name a few). But the one guy who surpasses them all? Who is more crush-worthy than any guitar-playing, poetry-writing, medicine-practicing, fire-fighting, beer-slinging, mountaineering, football-playing buffoon that I have pined after in real life?

Jim Halpert.

Dear Lord, please incarnate Jim Halpert, the world’s most charming man, into real life. And then allow us to run into each other at a gas station when I get to California tonight. I’ll take care of the rest. Amen.