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Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

You guys, I am having the best week. More on that later.

In the meantime, let’s talk about everyone’s favorite subject: my hair. It’s currently in the awkward in-between phase – not short, not long, just kind of a shoulder-length shag. It has a ton of volume and a lot of days, looks like a sea anemone – but to pull it back into a ponytail is more of a ponystub, and that’s no good.

So I’ve recently been doing something different – and by “something different” I mean “the topsy-turvy.” I pull it into the ponystub, then tuck the ends back toward my head. And it’s working like a charm.

MORE LATER, I promise. Winky face.


Thursday, February 21st, 2013

Lately, I’ve been using this space for a lot of personal processing, and just realized that I’ve neglected to update you on some of my actual goings-on. Yes, I am just that pompous to believe that the world is desperate to know about the ins-and-outs of my everyday life – so without further ado…

1) I cut off my hair: 10+ inches on the salon floor, leaving me feeling like a sassmuffin. My hair hasn’t been this short since 2008, and I’m ready to go even shorter next time.

2) It’s hard to tell what’s been the worst expenditure of the past week: head gasket repair, new clutch, 4 new tires, bill from the ER, or dental work. When it rains, it pours. And I cry.

3) If you want to believe in magic, watch “Searching for Sugar Man.” I haven’t been so captivated by a documentary in ages.

4) Today, I’m wearing a grandma shirt. No really, it used to be my grandma’s. It’s a red and black silk houndstooth print with a high neck and puffed long sleeves that cinch at the wrists. It’s the most old lady thing in the world, and I kind of love it.

5) Lissie’s cover of “You Can Go Your Own Way” is haunting and beautiful and completely transformative of the original. And I know what you’re thinking: you wonder if this means that I saw the movie “Safe Haven.” And the answer is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

6) The things I am currently most looking forward to: eating here in March, volunteering with Habitat for Humanity next weekend, and Greta’s arrival tomorrow night. Praise be.

Wherever you are, I hope that it’s warmer than it is right now in Denver. Someone put me on a beach so fast.


Monday, August 13th, 2012

A few weeks ago, I made an ill-advised decision: I was going to get bangs.

Never mind that my hair grows straight back, not forward, and naturally parts down the middle – very Alanis Morissette. I’ve spent years training it to part on the side, blow-drying the hell out of my cowlicks – but if I don’t deal with it immediately after taking a shower, my hair falls back into its natural “Jagged Little Pill” state. With this knowledge, I’m not sure why I thought that a high-maintenance cut was something I wanted –

Oh wait, yes I do. And it’s called CARLY RAE JEPSEN.

Come on.  That is the best hair I’ve ever seen. Oh, sure, as my co-workers reminded me – she is wearing PLENTY of extensions and volumizers in this picture, not to mention her hair was styled by a PROFESSIONAL. No matter – I was convinced that I, too, could be coifed like this every day.

I marched myself into the salon, and told the stylist that I wanted bangs. She hesitated – was I sure? Yes, I was sure. She inspected my hair – did I realize how much work it would take every morning to make it lay the way I wanted it to? Yes, I understood (but come on, it’s not going to take THAT much work).

The stylist told me that she wouldn’t give me bangs like Carly Rae Jepsen – but that she recommended a more “in between” style – TRAINING WHEEL BANGS, if you will. She would cut them short enough that I could start working them forward, but they’d still be long enough that I could pin them back if I wanted.

It wasn’t what I had in mind.  But then again, I hate conflict – and SHE was the one holding the shears. Half-heartedly, I agreed to it.

BAD. Bad, Annie. BAD BAD BAD.

Here is what I’ve learned about bangs: you’re either in or you’re out. Go big or go home. It’s all or nothing. Because when your bangs are too long to be bangs and too short to be tucked behind your ear, here is what happens:

Annie, meet your new strand.

This is three weeks after the initial cut, so we’ve obviously come a long way. But initially, my hair was in my eyes all of the live-long day, and resulted in me pinning them back for my 30th birthday party, which made me have UGLY HAIR for my 30th birthday party – one of the sadder things that has ever happened to me. Drama.

It still hangs in my eyes, and it’s still not long enough to tuck behind my ear completely – but a month from now, it will all be over. My “in between” bangs will be back to a reasonable, blessed length, and I’ll move on with my life, and never ask for bangs again.

Anyway, there you have it: the backstory for #14.

Friday fun facts

Friday, July 15th, 2011

What do you do when it’s Friday, and you have no real brain space or time, but you still want to say things?

You just say them.  All in a row.

Like this…

I got a haircut.  No more mermaid hair – although, correspondingly, no more dead head.

If you have ever prayed, “Dear God, please can there be a movie that combines “The Sandlot” and “Signs” and “Independence Day”?” then guess what.  Your prayer has been answered, and it’s called “Super 8.”  I LOVED IT.

I’m taking the first week of August off of work.  No plans – except to climb as many mountains as I can, and do fun things, and turn 29 years old.

Tom Petty is proof that a man doesn’t have to be attractive to be sexy.  That is just the strangest phenomenon.

Tomorrow night, I’m going to a professional lacrosse game.  I’m never quite sure which sport is lacrosse, and which is rugby, and which is polo.  I feel like all involve grunting?  Time to do some research.

I don’t think I know anyone in Denver with a truck.  Does anyone in Denver have a truck?  (I know – that is the question that every truck-owner doesn’t want to answer.  Except I’m SO nice, and I make very good cookies.)

Lately, I’ve been missing Seattle so much I can barely breathe.  I haven’t been there in almost a year.  This is so wrong.

But it’s pay day.  This is so right.

Things you are surely dying to know

Monday, May 24th, 2010

And a good Monday morning to you.  Yes, YOU.  Thanks for being here!

How are you today?

After Friday’s post of sunshine and daisies and love, I spent the weekend in the same blissful state.  I took long walks, had some good talks with friends, and bought a new pair of shoes that Karmen says make me strut (heeeeey!).  I saw a karate class of little kids practicing outside, yelling “yah!” and “hah!”  I found the Denver Farmers Market, where I sampled salsa and jam and cheese.  I bought myself a bouquet of gorgeous peonies, and they’re sitting in my living room next to the stained glass kaleidoscope that my aunt made years ago.

You have no idea how happy that picture, that sight, that moment, makes me.

I also got a haircut – the first haircut I have gotten in Denver.  I still like to think of Faith in Seattle and Erika in Nashville as “my” stylists… and to be honest, I don’t really want anyone else.  But alas, the shag was starting to get to me, and you have to LIVE where you are, right?  Time to find a Denver girl.  So, find a Denver girl I did.

She told me she was going to give me “Hot Veronica” hair, and I pretended that I knew what she was talking about and was like, “BRING. IT. ON.”  Nothing says “Annie Parsons” like “Hot Veronica,” right?  Well, word to the wise, people: do not come home from the salon and curiously Google “Hot Veronica” – especially you, Little Annie Parsons – this is not a good thing to do.  Instead, just check it out:

That is all the “Hot Veronica” you need to know.  I am Hot Veronica personified.

Or something.

Anyway, the weekend was fabulous.  All except for one thing.

Remember how on Friday morning I said that the Honda started “every time”?

On Friday night in ghettoville, it broke down three times in one mile.  After the battery being jumped twice by strangers, and unscrewing the gas cap to make sure it wasn’t vapor lock (the things I’ve learned!), and having the guy on the corner who was holding the sign pointing toward the marijuana clinic tell me that his dad was a mechanic for 52 years, I just called my ever-faithful AAA.  And they sent a tow truck.  And I now have a new $400 alternator.  Yay, me!


And don’t you worry, little cupcakes – my thoughts on “Lost” are coming tomorrow.  If you haven’t watched yet, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

We’ve come a long way

Friday, January 29th, 2010

September 2008:


January 2010:


My ponytail is making a spectacular comeback.  It’s almost a full-blown mane of glory.

Also, please take a moment to note the difference in my work environments.  Thank you, Emma, for saving me from Sir Allen Stanford.

Who wears short shorts?

Monday, June 29th, 2009

We have a small crisis at the JAM house.  One of us (I’m not saying who) got some bug bites (I’m not saying where) that are now inflamed (I’m not saying how).

(Okay, I am saying how.)

Never put Nair over top of bug bites.

I’ll let you do the math.

Nair is an evil, evil invention.  It DISSOLVES HAIR.  You do realize that that is the same job description held by Drain-O?

Let’s change the subject.

Actually, let’s just leave it at that.

Tell me a story

Friday, June 26th, 2009

Before I begin, let’s all just take a minute to acknowledge the huge thing that happened yesterday.  The thing that made the world feel small – like everyone, no matter what culture, tribe, or tongue, agreed was a big event.  An incident that shook us out of our day-to-day reality, and made us think about what is really important in life.  A happening resulting in headlines, workplace chatter, and blog posts.


And she looks fab.  Give her a cat-call, a high-five, and – my own personal favorite display of affection – a quick palm-circle-rub on the back.

In other news, there are a few things that I’ve decided that I “need”: a pair of black heels (how do I not own a pair of black heels?), a soft case for my guitar, and a new [insert the engine part that keeps my car quiet and not shaky] in my Honda.

Instead, you want to know what I’ve been doing with my hard-earned cash?  Donating it to This American Life.  Only twice, but still.  Shouldn’t I be allocating my limited funds some place other than to what could be a FREE podcast?  I feel like I am telling you my secret shame – confessing something I shouldn’t – like how I feign a healthy diet only to shovel cupcake icing into my mouth when no one is watching.

But I can’t help it.  Ira Glass is my geek crush.  He tells me the best stories out of anyone.  And then he asks me to give money (“One dollar – five dollars – whatever you can spare.  What kind of person do you want to be – someone who contributes, or someone who sits back and assumes someone else will take care of it?  Do your part, so we can do ours.”), and I’m like, IRA I WILL DO ANYTHING.

Seriously, though.  What a guy.



Monday, May 25th, 2009

I never thought I’d see the day, but sure enough.

Like the Terminator, like Backstreet…

Scrunchies are back.


Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

Now I know: any time I am ever feeling a lack of estrogen in my life, all I must do is post a blog about my hair – and voila, THE WOMEN APPEAR!

Thank you for your feedback, ladies!  Emily, Kristy, and Erin, I’m sorry to report that I listened to the majority, played it safe, and can still ponytail it.  I’ll save the next chop-fest for some cataclysmic day, like when TV goes digital.


Now, I must have a productive day at work.  I forgot my breakfast this morning – for the first time in YEARS, literally.  I’m not quite sure how I will make it to lunch with nothing but coffee, but I suppose that people have survived worse.  I will leave you with this clever little font fest.