I don’t have anything to say today.  Because I already said it all to Joey.

Joey is a blog friend (good NIGHT, we are such internet nerds), a law student in Austin, a writer, a seeker, a thinker – and as you will see, basically the next Stone Phillips.

If you’re regularly on the World Wide Internet, which most of us are, then I’m sure that you’ve already seen these two videos.  But if you haven’t, you should: two of the most influential songs from my childhood, brought to life in a new way.  Both made me all teary eyed.

Sometimes I wonder what true, true love looks like.  And I think it looks like this, and this.  It’s not the sexy fantasy that we are conditioned to expect; it is deeper, and quieter, and messier.  And, oddly enough, better.  Not that I would know, or anything, but – you know.  It sounds like.

And speaking of twos, here are two of my favorite “Twos.”

The roomies, Mel and Julie.

The nephews, Tyler and Micah.

Have a fantastic two days of weekend!

In my hours upon hours of exploring the hinterlands of the World Wide Web, I recently made a grave realization: I missed a very important day. A day celebrated by bloggers worldwide. A day which changes lives, reveals secrets, and promotes honesty… that is, for those who remembered it.

10 days ago, I missed DeLurking Day.

Happy delurking. I may be late, but at least I’m fashionably so.

Yesterday, I was this close to writing about Twitter, and calling it “N is for NOBODY CARES.” But I figured that all of you Tweety Birds would be hurt. And when I’m honest, isn’t this blog just one big, festering, narcissistic Twit? Or whatever.

So instead of ranting about our culture’s obsession with broadcasting the minutia and detritus of our lives, I figured that I would just go ahead and continue broadcasting the minutia and detritus of MY life. But I’ll try to do it using words like “minutia” and “detritus.”

When my friend Aaron Chan started med school, a professor drew an iceberg on the board. “This is your brain,” he said. He began to add tiny penguins on top of the iceberg, saying, “These are the things that you know.” Eventually, the iceberg was so crowded with penguins that “at some point, inevitably, penguins start to fall off.”

Twitter is pushing my penguins off the ledge.

To be fair, it’s not just Twitter: Facebook, MySpace, blog updates, text messages, email, and all sorts of other technological “ways of knowing” are cramming and jostling their way onto my iceberg. I can’t keep up – but more than that, I don’t WANT to keep up. I honestly do not care where my 922 Facebook friends are at all times (brushing your teeth, in line at Starbucks, reading CNN.com, going to church, at a bookstore, grocery shopping, sitting at your desk, eating potato chips, what-have-you). It doesn’t mean that I don’t care ABOUT these people, that I don’t care about YOU – it’s just that for the first time, we humble laymen have the capability and the technology to mass-inform… and we, myself included, have gotten a bit slaphappy about it.

So. What to do? Give up the internet? Erase my online footprint? Boycott status updates? Feel more and more aggravated as my brain is cluttered by people’s Twittery Tweets, crowding out important information like birthdays and bible verses and when was the last time I changed my Brita water filter? I can’t hide from the internet – it’s unstoppable, like… like a train that… can’t be stopped.

Whoops. There went my simile penguin.

Please. For the love of flightless, aquatic birds. Let’s attempt to be more responsible, intelligent, and discerning with what we are unwittingly forcing upon each other’s icebergs. I’ll try if you will.

Last night marked the first of 5 shows at the Bluebird that I am attending in a 2-week span. I saw one of my heroes, Lori McKenna – and among others, she performed this song. The bridge gets me every single time. She has such an economy with words – how can someone write so devastatingly?

I have missed every single speech of the Democratic National Convention thus far, and have some catching up to do via the internet. In the meantime, I think that Greta has some amazingly insightful words about the upcoming election. But in case you’re wondering: no, I don’t really want to talk about politics. Not today. Thanks for asking, though.

It’s hard to believe that the time has come, but Micah started preschool this week. If you’re ready to see some of the most achingly adorable pictures of your life, look at my nephews. I am a proud auntie, and can’t wait to see them again when I head to Kansas City in October.

If you want to laugh (of course you do!), please watch this, and this, and this (why does this one never get old?).

My long weekend will be spent in Nashville, but surprisingly, it is filled to capacity. I wish that I was driving to Hilton Head, or flying to Seattle, but instead, I’m making a little extra money hanging out with the German Shepherds again. Maybe I’ll blog over the weekend. Maybe not. One thing is for sure: even though there’s no work, I still have to blog on Monday, because F is for…?

This is a risky topic. It makes me want to throw up just thinking of you all reading about this subject in association with my name – especially since now you can probably google “is Annie Parsons on eHarmony?” Nevertheless, I want to talk about internet dating.

Not necessarily FOR ME. Just IN GENERAL.

Thoughts? Comments? Good idea? Bad idea? Worthwhile? Desperate? Genius?

And JUST FOR THE RECORD, I am not thinking about signing up, so don’t go looking for my profile on Match.com – although, let’s be honest, I could probably throw together a riveting profile [*rolleyes*, for all of you literalists out there]. I’m just curious to know what you, my esteemed readers, think of the concept. I’m intrigued by your thoughts, in the same way I might be if I asked about, say, the best way to barbecue a pork chop. Not something I’m looking to do anytime in the foreseeable future, but who knows, WHAT ABOUT SOMEDAY?

So. Opinions?

By the way, I have it on good authority – mine – that I have some of the coolest, smartest, most date-worthy blog readers in the land, so just think: your thoughts and comments could help contribute to what might become the internet’s PREMIER source of wisdom about internet dating (i.e. the comment section of this blog entry). Together, we can change the world… wide web.

Lately, when it comes to this blog, I have felt a certain lack of moxie; my brain feels as dry as my love life. So I’m going to try something a little different – a series, if you will. Every Monday, I am going to post something about a topic from A-Z, beginning today with… yes, A. We’ll see if I actually stick to it every single week, but let’s be honest: I ain’t no quitter.

A is for Annie. A is for Awesome. A is for Addiction.

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I have always had an addictive personality. When I find something that works for me, I stick with it – be it an egg on toast for breakfast (every single day for 5 years now), a walking route (the exact same 5 mile stretch of road over and over again), or chewing gum (I am currently tearing through a half a pack a day). Some of these habits are harmless enough; others are to be kept in check, which is why I am presently taking a break from alcohol.

If you were to ask me what my biggest, most undeniable addiction is, a couple of things would come to mind. The first is cookies. But, you know, whatever. The second is a little website called Facebook.

It’s my secret shame.

I sit at a desk all day, every day, Monday through Friday, and my only responsibility is to answer the phone. Therefore, I am left with hours upon hours of time to… twiddle. I am trying to limit my computer time, because too much of a good thing leaves me with scrambled eggs for a brain and black vacant holes where my eyeballs used to be. Lately, thanks to my self-control, however tenuous, I have been successful in the voracious consumption of several books. But left to my own devices, I would click-click-click my way through Facebook for hours on end.

I am confident in saying that I am online “friends” with every person I have ever met who happens to have a Facebook profile. I have looked up high school friends, elementary school friends, summer camp friends. I have reconnected with long-lost pals from yesteryear. I have linked up with relative strangers whom I have met only once. I have connected with ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriends – (awkward?). I have a large contingent of online pals who I “know” solely through our blogs (I welcome your friendship request!). My mom is on Facebook.

I monitor “status updates” like it’s my 9-5. It practically IS my 9-5. I know what happens on the internet as soon as it’s posted. The other day, my mom asked me, “Did you see so-and-so’s new picture?” And I just stared at her, like, are you kidding me? When it comes to Facebook, I am omniscient.

Not exactly something to brag about. I told you: SECRET SHAME. But there it is. God save me.

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If you have ideas for topics B-Z, I welcome them in the comments at any time!

Today marks the departure of my dear friend Sarah, who is making the big move from Nashville to Mansfield, TX, to begin a new chapter in her life. While I am excited for what the future holds for her, I am not smiling. I am sad to see her go.

Sarah and I met several years ago when I made a solo trip out to Nashville to check out the city. I didn’t know anyone here, and thought, “Who am I going to hang out with?” I proceeded to browse through MySpace profiles of people living in Nashville, came across hers, and thought that she seemed cool.

(How did I ever make friends before the internet?)

She listed chips & salsa and margaritas in her interests, had good taste in music, and was wearing a t-shirt from the Murfreesboro Testicle Festival in her profile picture (“I had a ball!”). I pulled the clumsy move of sending her an email that included the line, “I’m not creepy, I’m not socially awkward, I don’t own any cats, I’m not a prude, I’m not a ho-bag… I’m mostly just trying to decide what to do with my life, and if I end up in Nashville I’d like to hang out with you!”

And because she rules, she agreed. We met, blind date style, at the Bluebird Café, and bonded over baked brie and good music. Eventually, she came to visit me in Seattle, and our friendship was solidified.

I can honestly say that I would not be living in Nashville today were it not for her. Her consistent encouragement and support gave me the confidence to finally make the move. She set me up with a place to stay for my first 6-weeks in town, introduced me to new friends, and even gave me her old microwave. She has been a true friend, one who has made all the difference in my own life, and an instrumental person in my journey. Now, she is courageously embarking on her own adventure – leaving all that is comfortable, and moving to an unfamiliar place. My prayer is that a friend will come alongside her, just as she came alongside me.

Today marks the beginning of a new era for me: life in Nashville without Sarah. But we will always have this picture (which is the ONLY picture of us together – how can that be possible?):

To be fair, I’ll post a picture of me looking super hot. When it comes to making bad faces, I’m pretty sure that Sarah wins the “most beautiful bad face” award.

Happy trails, friend. I miss you already.

Vintage = old and expensive
Antique = rickety
Shabby chic = scuffed edges
Contemporary = microfiber
Charming = country plaid
Romantic = wicker
Cute = tacky
Wrought iron = purchased at Hobby Lobby
Retro = bizarre
Art deco = belongs in a Miami hotel room
Spectacular = always an overstatement
Comfy = ugly… but has such a great personality

Him: “So you drive an old car?”

Me: “She’s not old. She’s experienced.”

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Thanks, Matt Kirkland, for killing the magic. But in a most-awesome way.

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It doesn’t happen often. But when times are tough, I will occasionally wander over to People.com for some light, soul-sucking reading. Today, I found myself taking a “Whom would you rather date?” quiz, which placed a couple of “hot” young bucks side-by-side, and then let me cast my vote.

Maybe this means I’m completely un-hip, but I didn’t know who 75% of the candidates were. I’ve never watched “Gossip Girl.” I’ve never heard a Jonas Brothers song. “High School Musical” has never appealed to me. But these effeminate, coiffed girly-boys are prettier than I am. Is this the standard of attraction today?

If so, I will remain single, thank you very much. Because if I MUST date someone, at least let him be manly.

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Maybe I’ll do another weekend update video. You never know. Stay tuned. And happy Friday.