I am always making lists.  I cannot operate with out lists.  They make me feel productive and safe.

Why “safe”?  Don’t ask me these questions.  It’s how I FEEL.  I don’t need to have a REASON.  GAWL.

[When I was a teenager, "gawl" was my biggest expression of disgust.  I said it ALL THE TIME.  My siblings will still occasionally bring it up, throwing the word at me, faces all repulsed and contorted and dramatic.  Apparently, that is how they remember me at age 14.

I couldn't help it, though - it wasn't easy being SUPERIOR to EVERYONE.  In the UNIVERSE.  FOREVER.  INFINITY.  GAWL.]

Anyway, I just made a list of “actors I do not trust.”  I wrote it on a Post-It note.  It says:
Tom Cruise
Nicolas Cage
Charlie Sheen

And I felt like telling you.

Now, I feel it necessary to acknowledge that I might be wasting your time these days… but then again, you’re HERE, aren’t you?  Lurking in the shadows?  Creepily reading my thoughts?  Distractedly entertained for roughly 45 seconds every day this week?

Heeeyyy-ooooooh, it’s been awhile since I’ve gotten 5 in a row!  I should take myself out for a nice steak dinner.  Congrats, self.

I’m taking my ping-ponging thoughts elsewhere before someone loses an eye.  I’ll see you on Monday.

Don’t pretend like you won’t be back.  I love you.

… in reverse order:

Christmas (duh)

Thanksgiving (double duh)

A destination-to-be-determined trip in October

Kyle & Emily’s wedding

Josh & Meg’s wedding

A visit from Christina

A mountain climbing vacation…

… with these dear boys

Brook & Cara’s wedding

A Gretchen Peters show

A visit from Josh & Meredith

Sarah’s college graduation

A Sugarland concert

And, of course, being present in the moment, whatever it is that I’m doing.  Right?  Right.

Steady on.

-For being introverted.
-For scheduling things months in advance.
-For being task-focused.
-For hating going out to breakfast.
-For loving “The Climb.”
-For not liking every person I meet.
-For not doing music right now.
-For not being able to pronounce “entrepreneur.”
-For hating the summertime.
-For using so many washcloths.
-For not liking dance parties.
-For not being “sweet.”
-For not being a phone person.
-For changing my mind sometimes.
-For not having a “career goal.”
-For wanting to have babies.
-For preferring order to spontaneity.
-For loving fiercely and loyally.
-For being honest.

A childhood friend from my hometown of Montrose, CO, is being featured on Tom Brokaw’s documentary, “American Character Along Highway 50,” which airs tonight at 8/7c on the USA Network.  Watching Jeff’s clip reminds me of just how beautiful western Colorado is – one of those things that I didn’t appreciate until I moved away.  If you can, tune in; I’ve watched some of the teaser videos, and it looks fascinating.

Also, Tom Brokaw… who doesn’t love Tom Brokaw??

- – - – - – - -

I hate it when people just write recaps of “what I did this weekend” – because BOOOORING – but I’m sorry, this was a great weekend.  Why, pray tell?  Well…

- I spent Friday night at a private party for the PBR – the bull riders, not the beer – and Pat Green winked at me from onstage.
- My dad came over on Saturday morning and helped me hang up my curtain rods and do all sorts of other “dad” things.
- I sold my couch on Craigslist for $15 more than what I paid for it…
- … so I bought these towels (please don’t look at the price, it’s embarrassing).
- I went on a long run (7.3 miles at a mile high – not too shabby).
- I had Thai food with two new friends, Karmen and Scotty – and they’re really great!  Finding good people in a new city is an amazing thing.
- Duane was the East Nasty of the Week.
- One of my best friends from high school who lives in the Denver area had her first baby – welcome, Noelle Elizabeth!
- I went on a 6-mile walk around the city.
- I drove the hour down to my parents’ last night.

I don’t know, it was just a really great weekend.  Productive without being work, fun without being exhausting.  So far, this move has been surprisingly okay.

Next week’s Christmas parties:

• Sunday night
• Monday night
• Tuesday night
• Wednesday night
• Thursday night
• Friday night
• Saturday night

All I want for Christmas:

• Big, cheapo gold hoop earrings (so I can look fly)
• Earbuds that hook over my ears (to wear when I run all by my lonesome)
• A new guitar capo (someone stole mine from my room)
• A very small box for my three tiny Christmas presents

Things I will miss about Nashville:

• The JAM House
• City Church
• East Nasty
• The Bluebird Café
• “Lost” nights with friends

Things I am glad I am not:

• Kidney stone passer
• Road-kill scraper
• Junior higher

I try to avoid posts like this, because I don’t want to assume that people other than my mom are interested in the minutia of my every day life.  But the truth is that my creativity, energy, and brainpower are currently being channeled elsewhere, and I cannot find the time nor the lucidity to pull together anything semi-intelligent-sounding.

Although I did say “lucidity.”  So.  There’s that.

-    I’m going to the Y every night around 8:30 or 9, and I have rediscovered my love of working out at night, like I did when I lived in Seattle.  It’s amazing, and fits with my natural clock and rhythm.
-    I am approaching the 4-month marker in my new job, and let me just say that starting a job in which one has no previous experience is difficult.  I hate not feeling completely competent, and my brain is saturated with new information every single day.  But I am working hard, and starting to feel like I sort of comprehend what’s going on – not to mention, I work with some very wonderful people (SHOUT OUT, Emma!).  So, heigh-ho.
-    The Facebook fast is going well, and is enabling me to have somewhat of a “soul sabbatical.”  I was worried that apart from Facebook, I wouldn’t know what’s happening in the world – but actually?  It’s kind of nice not to know.  (Unless there is something important going on in YOUR life that I should know about – in which case, please tell me!)
-    Without a steady stream of Facebook notifications being sent to my inbox, I get basically zero emails anymore – but the few that I do get are amazing.  Val writes particularly sensational messages.  We’ve had quite the volley of emails going back and forth this week.
-    For those of you who ARE on Facebook, you should look up Souder Photography.  Their stuff is pretty amazing, and you might see a familiar face in the Musicians/Artists album…
-    For the first time since November, I have the beginnings of some new songs – and this makes me so happy, I cannot even say.
-    Some recent keywords that have led people to this blog: “how could a man make a woman feel more feminine,” “flirting her hanky,” and “by myself housesitter mirror pants.”  What am I writing about?  And why on earth are you still here?
-    I cannot believe I’m saying this, but yesterday, I was so thankful that I lived in Nashville instead of Seattle.
-    Tonight, I’m flying to California for another wedding – this time, my friend Sheryl and her Ukrainian sweetie, Vadym.  For almost 2 years, I thought that Vadym’s name was Roma.  I have no idea how that happened, but there it is.  I’ve known Sheryl for 25 years; for you mathematicians, that is 92.5% of my life.

I’ll be back next week to regale you with stories from the weekend – vodka toasts and… whatever else I learn to be particularly “Ukrainian.”

I am so lucky.  Here are some reasons why:

1)    I work for a company that values good coffee, and shuns the typical bitter office grounds.  I’ve completely stopped making coffee at home, because there is an endless supply of the good stuff here at work.
2)    Greta left the world’s best video message on my Facebook wall last night.  If you’re my Facebook friend, you should go watch it right this second.  If you’re not my Facebook friend – uh, what are you waiting for?
3)    I spent 4 ½ hours recording vocals last night with Josh and Meg.  Piece by piece, little by little, I am putting together songs.  How many people get to do that?  Okay fine, BESIDES in Nashville?
4)    Tonight, I am seeing my entire family in Kansas City – everyone but littlest sister Sarah.  Because you want to know where Sarah is?  Read this.  And now tell me: don’t YOU feel lucky, too?  I am so proud of her.
5)    After this weekend, I will have earned a FREE FLIGHT on Southwest.  And you know what that means: 4 free drink coupons.

Peace out.

And… peace in.

Bad: It is Monday.
Good: It is a holiday, and GRETA IS HERE!
Bad: My car got towed on Friday night.
Good: I didn’t really feel upset about it.
Bad: Probably because it’s already been STOLEN three times.
Good: We got it back.
Bad: It cost a lot of money.
Good: I had enough money in my account to pay for it.
Bad: I now have $1.86 – in change – to last me until my next paycheck.
Good: Friends have spotted me for everything from a spring-form pan to a DiGiorno pizza.
Bad: These are the things I spend my money on.
Good: The spring-form pan helped me make a chocolate marble cheesecake.
Bad: It didn’t really look marbleized.
Good: Holy Christmas, it tasted good.
Bad: I’ve consumed a lot of calories this weekend.
Good: I’ve burned them off.
Bad: I have run so much, I can’t really bend my knees today.
Good: Runner’s booty, here I come.
Bad: All the same, I had some moments of physical insecurity.
Good: A favorite boy said some very nice things, unprompted.
Bad: I cried at the Bluebird on Saturday night.
Good: Because Josh and Meg were so good.
Bad: I’ve been feeling discouraged about the whole music thing.
Good: Greta and I got pulled into a spontaneous pickin’ party down in Leiper’s Fork, and each played 3 of our songs, and the people walking past were smiling, and my heart felt happy, and the old cowboy loved us, and I was reminded that no matter how much I threaten… I could never quit doing music.
Bad: I’m still in bed.
Good: I’m still in bed.
Bad: I have to get up now.
Good: Because Greta and I are going on a long walk.
Bad: My world is better when Greta is around – and she does not live here.
Good: My world is better when Greta is around – and she is still here today.

- To go to bed every night by 10pm?
- To attempt to eat from the food pyramid?
- To create a budget?
- To have kids I used to babysit for getting engaged?
- To have friends getting married?
- To have friends getting divorced?
- To have friends getting boob jobs?
- To have a retirement account?
- To buy age-defying makeup?
- To experience an existential crisis?
- To worry – really worry – about the world, the environment, and the government?
- To refer to myself as a “woman,” and not as a “girl”?
- To plan my upcoming weekend around home improvement projects?

That’s right, folks. My weekend will be consumed with stripping and refinishing some bedroom furniture. And when I say “stripping,” I am referring to paint, and not to my clothing. Although that would most certainly give the neighbors something to talk about.

I have absolutely no idea how to go about this task – but that’s what the internet is for. I am researching the appropriate methods online, and then crossing my fingers as I begin the job this evening. Here’s hoping that Monday brings a glorious victory post, and not an “L is for LAME.”

Fingernail clippers
Coat hangers
Antihistamines
Scissors
Vaseline
Colanders
Tweezers
Calculators
Floss
Ice cube trays
Band-Aids
Kleenex
Cups