- To go to bed every night by 10pm?
- To attempt to eat from the food pyramid?
- To create a budget?
- To have kids I used to babysit for getting engaged?
- To have friends getting married?
- To have friends getting divorced?
- To have friends getting boob jobs?
- To have a retirement account?
- To buy age-defying makeup?
- To experience an existential crisis?
- To worry – really worry – about the world, the environment, and the government?
- To refer to myself as a “woman,” and not as a “girl”?
- To plan my upcoming weekend around home improvement projects?

That’s right, folks. My weekend will be consumed with stripping and refinishing some bedroom furniture. And when I say “stripping,” I am referring to paint, and not to my clothing. Although that would most certainly give the neighbors something to talk about.

I have absolutely no idea how to go about this task – but that’s what the internet is for. I am researching the appropriate methods online, and then crossing my fingers as I begin the job this evening. Here’s hoping that Monday brings a glorious victory post, and not an “L is for LAME.”

Fingernail clippers
Coat hangers
Antihistamines
Scissors
Vaseline
Colanders
Tweezers
Calculators
Floss
Ice cube trays
Band-Aids
Kleenex
Cups

I have been sitting here for almost 4 hours, trying to write something. Anything. It doesn’t need to be a blog, it doesn’t need to be a song – but could I just find the right words to communicate something? My creativity seems to have ground to a halt.

However, here is what I know today:

1) I am incredibly happy to see fall attire showing up in department stores and boutiques. I have not had expendable income for some time, and so I don’t expect that I’ll be getting my grubby little mitts on any new clothes anytime soon. But just the sight of light-weight sweaters, muted colors, and “transition pieces” gives me hope that the autumn is (slowly, painfully) on its way. THANK YOU GOD.

2) The other day, I found myself casually chatting with Kix Brooks about his recent experience running with the bulls. A few hours later, I baked cookies for the ex-cons across the street. When I moved here, there was no way for me to know what sorts of people would be brought into my life. But I have been delightedly surprised by the variety.

3) There are billboards next to the Nashville Zoo boasting “Tim Macaw!” and “Zebra McEntire!”

4) I have not been to Seattle for over 3 months now, which is the longest in 8 years I’ve gone without a visit. I have no current plans for a visit, and no resources to make a trip happen. It makes me so sad, especially when I think of breathable air. I have to live there again at some point. When it comes down to it, Seattle is home. Seattle will always be home.

5) I am grateful for my little buddy’s life, and hopeful for his future.

6) I have another show lined up for next week – which means that I’d better get busy practicing my guitar. I can’t play the same songs again! Oh, the stress…

7) Are my brother and sister-in-law rocking the house these days, or what?

8) I am feeling ready to end my much-longer-than-anticipated stint as The Temptress. But I will only take another job if it’s a good fit. Does anyone want to hire me? I’m like a Swiss Army Knife – I can do whatever you need me to do.

9) Sarah came and got her bed yesterday, so I am reduced to sleeping on an air mattress (not this one) until further notice. It’s not so bad. It’s like fancy camping. This morning, I drank my coffee in bed while watching an episode of “Felicity” on my laptop. So, really fancy camping.

10) I really love horses. I think that most little girls go through a “horse phase” – usually sometime between the “doll phase” and the “boy phase.” I went through the “boy phase,” and am weirded out to say that I THINK I CAME OUT OF IT. No more “boy phase” – too much drama. Back to horses.

Vintage = old and expensive
Antique = rickety
Shabby chic = scuffed edges
Contemporary = microfiber
Charming = country plaid
Romantic = wicker
Cute = tacky
Wrought iron = purchased at Hobby Lobby
Retro = bizarre
Art deco = belongs in a Miami hotel room
Spectacular = always an overstatement
Comfy = ugly… but has such a great personality

Nashville: The GOOD
• Rosepepper Cantina and their delish margaritas
• The full-scale replica of the Parthenon (we are the Athens of the South)
• Gentlemen who hold the door

Nashville: The BAD
• Too many guys in stove-pipe jeans and vests and weird almost-rat-tail hair
• The Tennessee GOP’s video attacking Michelle Obama
• Seen on a church billboard: “God answers knee-mail”

Things I Must Do In My Lifetime
-or-
The Living Big – a detailed account

(continued…)

76) Make a balloon animal.
77) Have a respectable savings account.
78) Write an anonymous note and leave it for a stranger to find.
79) Find a cure for hiccups (I’m really close).
80) Figure out why everyone has suddenly started using the word “fierce.”
81) Renovate a kitchen.
82) Have a knock-out, dress-up, genuinely rockin’ New Year’s Eve.
83) Get highlights in my hair.
84) Let someone with the need live with me for free.
85) Somehow get my rugs from Seattle to where I live now.
86) Have a gift wrap drawer.
87) Learn to take beautiful pictures. Ashley?
88) Stay at a Bed & Breakfast.
89) Watch all 3 “Lord of the Rings” movies in one long day.
90) Feel good about my body.
91) Knit a scarf. So… learn to knit.
92) See “Lost” through to the universe-tilting, amazingly climactic ending.
93) Watch my nephews grow into excellent men.
94) Be passionate about a career. All ideas are welcome.
95) Have an “instant hot” faucet on my kitchen sink.
96) Invest.
97) Get my wine rack back from Miranda.
98) Learn to love without expecting anything in return.
99) Write the occasional good song.
100) Have something named after me: a street, a star, a brownie recipe… it could be anything.

BONUS FEATURE:

Things I am indifferent about, and thus do not need to do before I die:

1) Parasail.
2) Sky-dive.
3) Snorkel.
4) Experience the Bahamas.
5) Run a full marathon.
6) Eat pickles.
7) Swim with sharks or whales or any kind of sea creature.
8) Be famous.
9) Attend an NFL game.
10) Have surgery.
11) Spelunk.
12) Go to a Kenny Chesney concert.
13) Go back to school for a higher degree.
14) Run naked through a public place.
15) Register for china.

BONUS BONUS FEATURE:

When in doubt that life is worth living, that there is anything good or sunshiney or true, there’s always this:

Things I Must Do In My Lifetime
-or-
The Living Big – a detailed account

(continued…)

51) Cultivate a bonsai tree.
52) Go whale watching.
53) Love the people who drive me the most crazy.
54) Live in Seattle again.
55) Ice skate without falling.
56) Read the entire Bible.
57) Eat at Canlis.
58) Send something to Post Secret.
59) Press pretty flowers, just because.
60) Milk a cow.
61) Go to a party on a roof-top deck.
62) Sit on a beach in New Zealand.
63) Master the art of barbequing.
64) Re-take-up scrapbooking. But this time, cooler. No more die-cuts.
65) Be someone’s hero.
66) Learn to bartend.
67) Hug a koala bear.
68) Hug my husband.
69) Hug my baby.
70) Change my own flat tire.
71) Fly first class.
72) Memorize how to make an origami crane.
73) Start a book club.
74) Throw a dinner party, complete with cloth napkins and place-cards.
75) Write a fan letter to Jim Halpert. Not John Krasinkski. Definitely Jim Halpert.

Things I Must Do In My Lifetime
-or-
The Living Big – a detailed account

(continued…)

26) Own a Mazda 3 hatchback with seat-warmers and a stick-shift.
27) Go to Italy. Bask.
28) Try lobster.
29) Run a half-marathon.
30) Throw a surprise party for someone awesome.
31) Actually read all of the books that I own.
32) Learn how to use Photoshop.
33) Master my hair-do, my wardrobe, and my eating habits.
34) Go wine-tasting in Napa with some good friends.
35) Grow flowers in a window box.
36) Take an art class.
37) Be in another musical. One where I get to sing and shuffle-ball-change.
38) Drive the length of the BC coast.
39) Go on an Alaskan cruise.
40) Own a house with a barn so I can have little baby animals.
41) Ride in a helicopter.
42) Go to a major awards show. I don’t care what kind or which one.
43) Tie a tie.
44) Start my own business.
45) Have a porch swing.
46) Make frosting flowers.
47) Kick the body image issue.
48) Own my own set of tools in a cute, convenient case.
49) Ride a camel. Or an elephant, I guess. I’d settle for a donkey.
50) Mow a lawn – but preferably a small one, in cool weather, in a beautiful location, with mountains surrounding me, and birds chirping.

I present to you a 4-day series:

1) Learn how to make Keri Alexander’s chicken enchiladas.
2) Plant a rose bush.
3) Sing to old people in a nursing home.
4) Sew a quilt.
5) Help build a Habitat for Humanity house.
6) Figure out how to do my taxes without my dad.
7) Get to all 50 states.
8) See the bats fly out from under the bridge in Austin.
9) Drink more water.
10) Write a book of some sort.
11) See Matraca Berg, Patty Griffin, and Gretchen Peters live.
12) Be a dog owner.
13) Serve a volleyball over the net.
14) Do a recording project of my songs.
15) Bake pies. Lots and lots of pies.
16) Be present when a baby is born. It could be mine.
17) Play whiffle ball.
18) Backpack the Wonderland Trail.
19) Get one of those romantic mirror trays for my perfume bottles.
20) Picnic out of a picnic basket.
21) Paint my walls green or red or yellow or purple or something bodacious.
22) Canoe.
23) Play an open mic night in Nashville.
24) Take salsa dance lessons.
25) Learn how to make sushi.

1) The sound of nails on a chalkboard evokes an immediate reflexive response in me: I instantly, and without thinking, put my fingertips in my mouth. It might make more sense to cover my ears, but you can’t argue with “natural tendency.” It must be evolution.

2) I am a consolidator. I cannot stand to have two half-empty bottles of the same thing, whether it be soy sauce or face wash or peanut butter. I will mix them together into one substance, and discard the empty vessel. Unless it’s a pretty glass jar. Then I will save it for something special, like someday when there’s a boy who gives me flowers. I’ll be ready. With my jar.

3) My least favorite serving dish is the olive boat. It makes me uncomfortable to casually pass around a dish in that shape. Am I incredibly juvenile? Probably. I can’t sing “where ox and ass are feeding” in church without snickering, either.

4) I check Seattle/Nashville Craigslist EVERY DAY for the following items: apartments, jobs, Mazda 3’s, elliptical trainers, Missed Connections. It does not matter that I don’t live in either of these places anymore/yet. It does not matter that I don’t have the money nor the need for a new car. It does not matter that I will not sign a lease for an apartment until I’ve seen it in person. It does not matter that I don’t have a home to put a mammoth item like an elliptical in. I like to keep my finger on the pulse of my cities.

And no. No one is looking for me on Missed Connections.

5) I vacillate between pursuing a career that I am passionate about, and pursuing a career that will provide me with the lifestyle that I want (which really means the ability to finance a wardrobe from Anthropologie and a hot yoga habit). And deep down, I’m afraid that I’m incapable of either.

6) I made up a word with the sole purpose of describing Sufjan Stevens’ music: “changley.” Too much changle. If you don’t know what I’m referring to, just listen to the one that goes, “Changl-ey, chaaaan – gaaaall – eeey / All things go, all things go.”

7) My favorite scene in movies is that point just past halfway where there’s some upbeat song playing, and all of the characters are progressing and growing and changing. No dialogue – just a montage of forward movement that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and makes me want to go run a marathon or learn how to cook a turkey or something.

If you have a blog, I think that you should do a similar entry to this: seven things. I’d love to know some underground, non-obvious facts about my friends!