TV browsing by category


Proving that nothing is ever wasted – even on 3ABN

Thursday, October 9th, 2008

I don’t watch much television – and unless it’s “Lost” or “The Office” or my daily dose of “Good Morning America,” I am content to leave the TV off. I don’t have cable – just bunny ears – and from what I hear, I will be forced to buy some sort of converter box come February when the entire nation switches to digital.

[We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Just know that, what with my current financial state and strong aversion to change, it’s probably going to be ugly. Prepare yourself.]

But the bunny ear antenna isn’t so bad – I get all of the basics (ABC, NBC, CBS, PBS, Fox), plus whatever that channel is that plays dinnertime reruns of “Everybody Loves Raymond.” Also, blame it on living in the Bible Belt, but I get at least 5 Christian channels.

For free. Just like salvation.

In flipping through stations, I rarely, RARELY, stop on one of these channels – which typically feature a sweaty televangelist, or an alarmingly plastic preacher, or smiley children in overalls singing “He Has Made Me Glad.” But the other night, in the midst of flipping, I stopped on 3ABN (that would be the Three Angels Broadcasting Network) while I walked into the other room to get the popcorn out of the microwave. When I walked back out, this was playing:

And there, in the face of a cheesy living room set and unglamorous musicians, I was spellbound. This woman’s voice is GORGEOUS. And what are they singing? William Cowper’s “There Is a Fountain” – the hymn that killed the spicket.

Prescription sleep aid commercials: a review

Wednesday, August 27th, 2008

A gigantic glowing moth flies through your open bedroom window and hovers over your face, its gently-beating wings sprinkling sparkly, magical moth-dust and lulling you into a peaceful slumber. “A great tomorrow starts tonight.”

During a sleepless night, you wander out to find Abraham Lincoln and a fork-wielding beaver sitting at your kitchen table. They want to play chess and talk about your stress at work. An astronaut is fixing food at the counter. “Your dreams miss you.”

Ambien CR:
A shrill midnight phone call rouses you from your bed, but no one is on the other end. When you silently and suspiciously pull back the curtains and look out your window to the dark, deserted street below, you see the culprit: bathed in the glow of a street lamp, a rooster at a pay phone. “Silence your rooster.”

Broken record

Wednesday, May 28th, 2008

I am only on the second episode of season 6 of “24,” and I have already heard Jack Bauer say some version of the following lines:

“Mr. President, don’t do this.”
“It’s too late!”
“I know about al-Fayed.”
“I’m sorry, but that information is classified.”
“I’m going after the bomber.”
“With all due respect, Mr. President, you are wrong.”
“I’m trying to save your life!”
“One of your men is a traitor.”
“I was afraid I would die for nothing – at least now, I’m dying for something.”

And of course, the phone is constantly ringing at CTU:
“Boop boop – BEE doo”

There have been guns and torture devices and love connections and explosions and maddeningly naïve civilians and doors kicked down and hot, young, recent college graduates fighting terrorism. It’s all so familiar.

However, an extremist has also been killed by a swift human bite to the jugular. So I guess that’s new.

Live together, die alone

Thursday, January 31st, 2008

There is a humongous benefit to living in the Central Time Zone. People in Seattle have more than 3 hours to go. For me, “Lost” is starting in 20 minutes.


In fact, I haven’t been able to blog today because I just haven’t known what to say. I have no words to give shape and voice to the excitement I am feeling right now. Good gracious, have I ever been so obsessed with a television show? I guess that I was pretty dedicated to “Full House” back in elementary school, but this is a whole new animal.

I’ll see you on the flip side, when we all know a little bit more and a little bit less.