Y’all, the “y’all” is slipping out. I don’t know what is happening to me.
Maybe it was inevitable – I’m surrounded by “y’all”-ers everywhere I go. But still, it’s a big pet peeve of mine when people go off to some foreign land for a short amount of time and return with an accent. Because I’m sorry, but three weeks in Ireland does not earn you a brogue. All of y’all just need to stop being ridiculous.
See. It just sounds alien coming from my lips. I am the first one to admit that this is the most unnatural phenomenon, and if I had any way to stop it, I would – because it makes me feel all conspicuous. Like when I wear hats. I’m just not sure that it suits me in an effortlessly hip kind of way.
Most of the time, “y’all” is used simply as a contraction of the words “you” and “all.” Examples: “Are y’all coming over?” “Can I ride with y’all?” “Y’all should read this.”
Y’all really should.
However, I haven’t found myself “y’all”-ing this way. Instead, the term has weaseled its way into my vocabulary as a replacement for “seriously, dudes.”
“I went to bed with wet hair last night, and y’all, it is mangy today.”
“I mean, I’ve been around – and y’all, Jim Halpert is the only man for me.”
“I shouldn’t have eaten heavily salted edamame and popcorn for dinner because I knew that this morning it would result in having a tongue the size of Arkansas – but y’all, that’s all that I wanted to eat.”
A word of emphasis, used for only the most truthful of statements.