Today, I am struck with all of the things to come, and all that must be done in the meantime.
I woke up a little bit early this morning, allowing me enough time to go for a walk before going into work. Morning walks are unusual for me – typically, I walk in the late afternoon or early evening – and I must admit that I enjoy the different vibe that the AM brings. By the afternoon, my brain feels full, and the day is running at such a frenzied pace that I am barely keeping up. But in the morning, things are quiet, simultaneously ponderous and purposeful, permitting my mind to really engage my thoughts. Here’s what was filling my mind this morning.
First of all, as you might guess from the pictures, I had a fantastic time with my family in Colorado. It was too short, as it always is, but it was a taste of what I will experience this fall when I have more flexibility to be with them. What a gift to actually LOVE being around one’s family! Not everyone does, and I know that, and am grateful for the gift that each of them is to me.
When I am around Micah and Tyler, my heart feels like it’s going to explode. These two little guys have opened my eyes to how much love I am capable of feeling – and they don’t have to do anything at all. They just walk around with their tiny baby-toothed grins and chubby hands, their vivid imaginations and funny faces, and I am slain in my tracks. If I feel this much for them, my nephews, I have absolutely no concept of what I will feel for my own children. My heart simply cannot fathom it.
Secondly, I am struck with the urgency of my time in Seattle being short. I have been operating under the assumption that “Of course I’ll be back to Seattle – probably in January!” But honestly, I have no idea. In the event that I wind up not coming back, I want to spend as much time as possible with my friends – so my calendar has been filling up with ALL SORTS of social things. This is great, until I hit the point where I want to just hole up in my apartment and nest.
The more that I think about it, the more I am leaning towards staying away for awhile – spending the fall on the road as a vagrant, but settling in Nashville or Kansas City in January. I think that I have to. I have to do something different for awhile. But I guess that time will tell… nothing is certain right now. I might fall in love with a rodeo cowboy in Cheyenne, and never make it out of Wyoming. There’s no telling.
Third of all, if I truly am going to move, to MOVE move, then how in tarnation do I do that? What do I do with my stuff? It’s too expensive to get a moving truck, or even one of those pod things. How do I start over somewhere else entirely? This is how: I sell everything big, mail a couple of boxes of linens and kitchen appliances, and put my little flowered chair and wine rack on the back seat of my Honda. That’s it. I guess that it’s not that complicated when I actually think about it.
It could be fun to sell my stuff, and then get different stuff somewhere else. :) I’m always up for new stuff… But I will definitely keep my flowered chair, my wine rack, and my little copper-front cupboard. And my copper toaster, and copper blender. And my light-up globe. And my sharp knives. Everything else can go. Except my bedspread. And my clothes and my laptop and my books. And Netflix – I will definitely keep them up-to-date on my address.
Holy cow. If I’m actually, actually moving, there are so many Seattle things that I need to do! The Seattle Art Museum, the Woodinville wineries, Snoqualmie Falls, the SPACE NEEDLE! All of these things that I always assumed I would get around to doing.
Looks like the summer will be busy…