A series of potentially awkward haiku


Searching high and low
For one to keep me lifted
I’m brassiere shopping

White is so boring
But practical and useful
When it comes to bras

No black negligee
Or polka-dot straps for me
Just a simple one

Remember the time
When my underwire popped up
At the grocery store?

My only white bra
Is now in the garbage can
Bra-less is trashy

Sick of wearing black
I have nice white shirts to wear
But they are see-through

So I’m on the hunt
Like a stealthy lioness
One that needs a lift

But do not be fooled
By my cat-like behavior
Leopard print? No thanks

You can keep your lace
And your strapless push-up wares
Sensible will do

These are expensive
I do not have sixty bucks
I’ll go to Target

All of my money
Would be better spent on gas
But I need support

Thirty-four C cup
Or a thirty-six B cup?
Always a toss-up



  1. Rebecca on July 31, 2008 at 7:54 AM


    Why the freakin’ heck are bras so dang EXPENSIVE?! And seriously, I love Victoria’s Secret because I love the way their bras FIT – but $45 for a BRA?!?! UGH.

    I often tend toward the “flesh colored” ones, so I don’t have to worry about the color showing through as much.

  2. erin on July 31, 2008 at 8:04 AM

    not that i’m sharing my own bra habits or anything, but hypothetically speaking, the nude bra might be a better bet (rebecca is a smart woman). And i’ve HEARD that having one fun bra (say, with colorful polka dots) that you can wear on a day when you might be feeling particularly down can be internally uplifting (and externally, i suppose) because only YOU know that you have happy polka dots gracing your bosom, and it’s your fun little secret all day long. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

  3. Annie Parsons on July 31, 2008 at 8:13 AM

    The nude bra isn’t white enough for this white girl. :) I wish bras came in varying flesh colors, like Cover Girl. I would get the “Natural Ivory” or the “In the Buff” and be completely undetectable.

    And I’ve got me some fun bras. Just no white bra. So it’s basically the most boring purchase of all time, the most unexciting expenditure of money I can possibly think of, next to, maybe, chard.

    I was just hit with a wave of AWKWARD BLOG, ANNIE. Too late now…

  4. Anonymous on July 31, 2008 at 8:23 AM

    oh my

  5. Terry on July 31, 2008 at 9:10 AM

    You are SO hilarious, Annie. Can’t wait to see you in person. Who knew we’d all know your bra size if we read your blog long enough????

  6. bec on July 31, 2008 at 9:32 AM

    too much information???

    they are way too expensive though.

  7. Lyla on July 31, 2008 at 9:53 AM

    LOL How long did that take to come up with like 10 undergarment haikus? That’s pretty hilarious.

  8. Greta on July 31, 2008 at 10:00 AM

    I’ve a sense of pride
    For contributing sports bras.
    Moving Comfort lives.

  9. jnt. on July 31, 2008 at 10:43 AM

    oh man, just another reason why you are my favorite newest friend…

    your mom’s comment cracks me up.

  10. Rebecca on July 31, 2008 at 1:41 PM

    Erin is also a smart woman. Hypothetically speaking, of course. :)

    And Annie, I’m whiter than you are. But I love that Cover Girl idea… ;)

  11. Deborah Barnett on July 31, 2008 at 7:54 PM

    White is too white
    Nude is not nude at all
    Self-tanner torso

    or do what I do – speaking as one white girl girl to another… and buy the shell pink. It’s actually closer to my skin color and virtually disappears under white clothes. I got the idea when a black friend of mine told me she wears black or chocolate brown bras under white clothes so there’s no contrast. Brilliant!

  12. Annibelle on July 31, 2008 at 10:30 PM

    All this talk of bras and flesh and money has me blushing…

    (don’t know m’self why the latter makes me blush but it DOES!)


  13. breepick on July 31, 2008 at 11:50 PM

    LOL!! I love that no man dares comment on this post!! HA!

  14. Rebecca on August 1, 2008 at 6:41 AM

    Ooo, Debs, great idea!

  15. Sarah Kate on August 1, 2008 at 9:37 AM

    I personally love the outlet stores for bra purchasing…Legs, Bali, Hanes, anyone? I found a fantastic couple of bras there last time I had to venture out and decide myself…36 B or 34 C? Such a decision.

  16. Annibelle on August 1, 2008 at 10:26 PM

    Me? I’m a Calvin Klein girl. They’re softer and cheaper than Vicki’s Secret anyhow… when they’re on sale.

    That and target.

  17. Matt on August 15, 2008 at 5:13 PM

    That was quite awkward.

    And for Haiku’s just as awkward but rarley about such matters you should check out


  18. […] You want to know what the lamest thing to spend money on is?  A vacuum cleaner.  I am currently researching the suckers, and it’s even less exciting than spending money on a beige bra. […]

  19. hootenannie » Blog Archive » Ghost town on February 25, 2010 at 11:14 AM

    […] was posting every single day?  I was an ever-flowing fountain of entertainment!  Bra shopping?  Check.  Sprite sprayed you-know-where?  You got it.  Annie Queen of Doom?  […]

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