Defining

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Last night, I had a job interview that lasted an hour and a half. This potential employer and I talked spiritedly and candidly about everything from music to the environment to Telluride to writing to disappointment to, strangely, even Jesus. It was surreal, and wonderful, and stimulating. The job is something that I could excel at, and it might potentially lead to some cool perks. This man seemed impressed by me, calling me a “Renaissance Woman,” which is a very cool thing to be thought of as. It was clear that we had a likely chance at developing a great rapport, and working well together.

But he and I both hesitated. Something just didn’t feel right, and we both acknowledged it.

This job could have been a very cool thing. I mean, seriously cool. Like, hanging out with Keith and Nicole cool. But is that what I want? Is that what I want my life to be about? Is glamour what I am aiming for? In the case of my far-too-slow-growing mop of hair, absolutely. But when it comes down to what makes my heart beat, I realize that it’s not about the perks. It’s not about the bright lights and the fabulous people and the free drinks. It’s not about the tinsel.

I really want to write. And at this point in my life, I am not willing to sacrifice the time and space and flexibility that make writing possible. I want to see where the words and melodies and harmonies and expression might lead.

The decision to pass on the position wound up being far easier than I anticipated. And after a long spell of uncertainty, it feels good to be so sure of what I want.

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11 Comments

  1. miranda on July 18, 2008 at 10:37 AM

    I’m impressed Annie. I knew that you would amaze them in the interview…but I know even more that you have made the right decision. It is HUGE that you have recognized your talent and love for writing and that you are making sacrifices so that you can do what you love. That is inspirational. And by the way, you know that you are already super successful in this thing that you love to do, don’t you? People (you don’t even know) read your writing everyday and connect with your words…that’s every writer’s dream.

  2. jnt. on July 18, 2008 at 11:43 AM

    ok. i ditto everything Miranda said. and am glad to finally know which celebrity’s house you took a slam in.
    you are so awesome.

  3. Laura on July 18, 2008 at 12:14 PM

    Annie, I’m glad you’re holding out for a job that fits. And I don’t know about you, but if I hung around beautiful, rich people all day, I think I’d start feeling bad about myself ;-)

  4. Annie Parsons on July 18, 2008 at 12:15 PM

    Clarification: it wasn’t Keith and Nicole I was referring to in this post. No… he wasn’t THAT big of a superstar! But had I taken the job that I interviewed for last night, I would have wound up meeting them – probably could have held little Sunday Rose, too. Oh well.

    Here’s to pursuing what we really, truly love!

  5. Tad on July 18, 2008 at 1:46 PM

    Way to go Annie! I once took a job because of those same type of reasons. AND I HATED EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!
    Way to be strong, that’s one thing we all love about you.

  6. Isaiah Kallman on July 18, 2008 at 4:22 PM

    God once asked me to turn down a fantastic job offer. But had I taken the job anyway, I think living outside of obedience would have made the job miserable. Besides, when He did give me work to do, it was everything I wanted. I can’t imagine you’d get anything less.

  7. Greta on July 18, 2008 at 9:42 PM

    I AM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO ASK YOU ABOUT THE INTERVIEW WHEN WE TALKED TODAY. I need to hear a fuller version tomorrow–please?

    Hope the BBQ was splendid and not like when Judy Garland dances with all the awkward men at the end of “Meet Me in St. Louis.” I hope you know what I’m talking about. You knew about Mary Ingles, frick. Will I EVER hesitate to make some obscure reference again in your company?

    I’m proud of you for following you gut on this. More tomorrow. Please.

  8. Rebecca on July 19, 2008 at 9:12 AM

    It feels so good to make a decision and feel at peace about it. Here’s to pursuing your gifts and passions!!! ***insert glasses of wine clinking together***

  9. Rebecca on July 19, 2008 at 9:14 AM

    P.S. How disappointed was I when I went to your blog today and there wasn’t a new post?? I forgot that today is SATURDAY. I’m such a confused woman.

    :)

  10. erin castioni on July 20, 2008 at 9:39 AM

    i’m proud of you too annie, after all you have gumption. You need to be your own leading lady, not play a supporting role in others’ dreams!!!

    HOWEVER, i would have had no problem sharing my own “talents” with the people you would have interacted with. A girl can dream, can’t she???

  11. Shannon on July 21, 2008 at 12:17 PM

    “We must absolutely do what we love” she said, “or we run the risk of doing nothing at all.”

    cheers to doing what you love!

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