Something’s gotta give

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Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was WITH me yesterday?

Maybe you could tell from the blog, maybe not – but I seriously lost my mind for a few hours in the afternoon. Upon further introspection, I blame it on the fact that my life is completely out of balance.

I spend 8-9 hours each day in complete solitude at a desk. Those of you who have come to visit me at work know that I’m not joking – it is dead silent. No one – no, seriously, no one – is around; everyone else works back behind a heavy glass door, and I rarely see a soul. As a strong introvert, I’m probably able to handle this kind of isolation better than most. But… I while away the hours over-analyzing the lack of purpose in my life, and exploring the vacuous far-reaches of the internet – which, by the way, I’m pretty sure that I found the outer limits. I have now seen the entire World Wide Web.

Then, when the whistle blows, I leave work and rush off to a variety of social engagements, throwing myself into “extroversion” mode, and staying out way too late most nights.

It’s like jumping from a hot tub into a snow bank, rolling around, and then jumping back in: TOTALLY PAINFUL. Extremes are not good – and currently, I feel like a pendulum swinging back and forth, back and forth. It’s clear to me that something needs to change.

It would be awesome to have a real job. One with a salary and benefits. One in which I’m contributing to something. One that I like. One in which I am saying more than “Thank you for calling…” and “One moment, please.” One that utilizes my gifts – because I have them! I do have gifts.

Not to knock the temp job, because as far as temp jobs go, this one is pretty sweet. But ultimately, it’s not a good thing for a girl’s main goal each day to be “post a blog.”

Who wants to hire me?

No, for real. The search is on. Let us pray.

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12 Comments

  1. Lyla on November 19, 2008 at 12:07 PM

    Perhaps you just need a DIFFERENT reception job. I often find myself saying things like, “If that phone rings ONE MORE TIME, I’m going to rip it from the cord and stomp on it!”

    Also, my job is full of entertainment. Stuff like this happens:

    New receptionist: I can’t see this as being a very high stress job.

    Me: I think that since you’re new, we jump into a lot of things that you don’t yet. Take Receptionist #2 here. People freak out on her all of the time. She attracts the crazy.

    New Receptionist: Really?

    RIGHT THEN… as in that very second, this older lady with about 15 pounds of makeup comes in, points at a poster of breeds on the wall and yells, “Hey! Can I look at your poster?” We said, “Yah, sure.”

    A couple of minutes later, the lady yells, “Can I get some HELP over here?!?” One of the doctors, thinking it was an emergency, runs over. When she realized that the lady just wanted to ask questions about the poster, she offered to have a receptionist help. Of course, the two closest receptionists were NEW RECEPTIONIST and a receptionist we’ll call #3.

    The lady stars yelling (because apparently EVERYTHING needs to be yelled), “ARE ALL OF THESE DOGS THE SAME?” New Receptionist stands in silence and #3 tries to explain that, no, they are different breeds.

    The lady yells, “BUT THEY ARE ALL THE SAME, RIGHT?”

    #3 says, “No. They aren’t.”

    Lady yells, “WELL, HOW ARE THEY DIFFERENT?”

    #3 says, “They are different shapes and sizes.”

    At this point, new receptionist breaks free and comes back over to where I was. I said to her, “See?”

    She replied, “I think I’m going to go clean some exam rooms now.”

    At that point, the lady was still talking to #3 and I needed to page a nurse for an appointment. The nurse comes running out and says, “Lyla, are you okay?” I said, “Yah, I’m fine. Why?” She answered, “Because you sounded really upset on the intercom.”

    I said, “That’s because I was trying really hard not to laugh.” Of course I had to take her into the back and tell her the whole story.

    I was told later that the lady smelled of alcohol and was plastered. Since I have no sense of smell, though, I can’t tell the difference. To me, everybody is just crazy even if they are drunk.

    Of course, as somebody pointed out to me: If you’re going to get wasted, go into an animal hospital, and start yelling about a poster… you’re probably crazy AND drunk.

    See, I think that being a veterinary receptionist would end your boredom. Plus, it would give you TONS of material for your blogs. Unless you got fired like Dooce.

    Lyla

  2. KP on November 19, 2008 at 12:17 PM

    wow. you pretty much just summed up my life right now.

    i feel you.

  3. Christina on November 19, 2008 at 1:06 PM

    Wow, the whole world wide web huh? That is a lot of porn you’ve looked at, Annie. A LOT of porn.

    (Hmmm, hope your blog readership isn’t offended by a little porn joke…)

  4. Anonymous on November 19, 2008 at 1:20 PM

    This is going to make me sound really old. But when I spent my year in Jersey temping – there was no internet. I’m amazed I am still alive and didn’t slit my wrists on the reception table.

    Love you,
    Carin

  5. Kyla Joy on November 19, 2008 at 1:34 PM

    Loved your cover letter! I vote that you do send it to at least 2 craigslist jobs. What’s it going to hurt if they don’t hire you? I have been finding more things to do lately. Like, become an expert on something from Wikipedia. Or write a novel about a receptionist who plans to take over the company and force the CEO to answer phone calls in a small, glass room.
    Praying for you and your job search! And for balance, and peace. Yes, peace.
    Lastly, remember, 10:1.

  6. Deborah Barnett on November 19, 2008 at 4:16 PM

    I’m almost positive that if you sent that cover letter, with your resume, to EMMA… they would hire you on the spot. Even if they had to make up a job for you.

    Seriously. As in, I’m not kidding. You should do it.

  7. giving up slowly on November 19, 2008 at 7:27 PM

    Dead silent, heavy glass doors, rarely see a soul… Verrrry interesting, Annie. I wish you all the best on your quest for a more fulfilling job (dare I say “career”?) You definitely need more human interaction, more responsibility and more FUN! Keep us posted (please, as if you wouldn’t!) And if I were you, I would send that cover letter to a few places just for kicks and to see if you’d get any reactions :)

  8. ~lady j on November 19, 2008 at 8:08 PM

    i’m searching too.
    for… lots of things.

    this week is full and next week is thanksgiving, but i KNOW i’ll have a night off soon. when I do?

    You. Me. Syrah/Shiraz. Cheese. Rumours. Or Rumours East, I do not care.

    But this has gone on long enough. Lets make it happen. :)

  9. Justin...that's all on November 19, 2008 at 10:39 PM

    I found your blog through a friend and I love it. Very funny! Don’t worry too much about the job thing.It’s only what you do, not who you are.Much love my sister.

  10. Justin...that's all on November 19, 2008 at 10:39 PM

    I found your blog through a friend and I love it. Very funny! Don’t worry too much about the job thing.It’s only what you do, not who you are.Much love my sister.

  11. attheendofmylens.com on November 20, 2008 at 6:40 AM

    i SO get where you are. i’ve posted many times about the same thing, like right here. the only think i can say is just do something, keep moving forward. hopefully it won’t be as long as it’s taken me (10yrs! give or take a few years). the following quote is so true (i’m finding so, now that i’m finally chose to do something creative – photography – and things are staring to come together):

    ‘The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.’ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe:

    (btw- surfed through via Ashley Parsons old blog – LOVE ‘We Are The Parson’)

  12. annie on November 22, 2008 at 12:52 PM

    Annie, I will pray for something new to come along. Even as a self-described introvert, it doesn’t seem this job is fit for you. I feel a little guilty saying this, but I got right into a great job with lots of purpose that I am passionate about only 6 months after graduating college. I don’t believe in luck, so I know God gave it to me. But my point is that I believe God will give it to you, too, in His Time. And you should know that it does change life! Hope it arrives sooner than later! God bless.

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