Month: March 2009

Last night, I dreamed that I was in a bridesmaid dress – a long, flowing, strapless sage gown.  My hair was lovely, my makeup perfect, and I felt pretty. Except – oh no! – there was a war going on.  With bullets flying everywhere, I ran through a very chaotic Wal-Mart – only to take…

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” -Bill Cosby “I have never seen a greater monster or miracle than myself.” -Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533-1592) “Truth is beautiful, without a doubt; but so are lies.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) “Help!  I’m being held prisoner by…

Hearken back to Monday’s post.  What was meant to be a shoulder shrug, a lark, a lighthearted jab at my pal Andy, actually sparked quite the response.  While I got a lot of “You go, girl!” comments from women, I have been much more impacted by what I have heard from the men – whether…

I’m always perusing Craigslist, and in my recent days of unemployment, I am particularly drawn to the “Free” section. The other day, I saw this: Napkin rings. 8 gold, 8 silver/gold. Free to a good home. I’m sorry, but inanimate objects do not qualify for a prerequisite “good home.” A puppy? Yes. A bunny? Of…

Yesterday, I threw away my scale. Just like that. Trashed. Into the dumpster. I am a compulsive weight-checker, always keeping tabs on my poundage, and consequently tempted to feel either good or bad, happy or sad, proud or ashamed, jubilant or angry. It’s amazing how a great day can be ruined by a number –…

The way I see it, 1) If a guy is interested in me, he should have the guts – spine – balls – to do something about it. 2) If he is interested in me and does NOT have the guts – spine – balls – to do something about it, then he’s not really…

–    “When You Wish Upon a Star” –    Geppetto’s wish that a puppet would become a real boy.  What? –    Creepy Blue Fairy –    Cricket as conscience –    “Give a Little Whistle” –    Honest John (wicked fox).  MISLEADING. –    Figaro (pet cat, unclothed, walks on all-4’s), and Gideon (mute cat, clothed, walks like a human). …

First things first. Did anyone else notice that they said “hootenanny” last night during “Lost”?  My name was said on national television!  I AM SO TOTALLY FAMOUS!!! Next things next. Last night as I was dying my hair, it hit me: I am a responsible and intelligent girl, not one to slack and make bad…

I might always run a little late in the mornings. I might always love Whitney Houston key changes. I might always color-code my closet. I might always get annoyed when people open a new box of crackers / gallon of milk / bottle of mustard before they’ve finished the old one. I might always hate…

I kissed a baby cow while wearing high heels. We went grocery shopping at BB’s, an Amish paradise in which you find bargains like 50 cent jars of chutney, or 9 full-size Butterfingers for $1.50, or a slightly smashed box of Cheez-Its for 75 cents, or apples for 39 cents/pound. It was like God raining…