Moose on the loose


In my opinion, the world’s scariest creature is not a shark, or a bear, or even a naked mole rat.  The one beast that I never hope to meet in a dark alley is a moose.

Moose are some mean mother truckers.

Ever since I read “Hatchet,” and the kid was stranded alone in the Canadian wilderness, and the moose swam up in the lake UNDERNEATH HIM and gored him with his horns, I have been terrified.  This is unfortunate, because tomorrow, I will board a boat bound for the Last Frontier, where people see moose outside of the local Applebees.

But who knows – maybe moose will win me over.

Perhaps if Alison Krauss serenaded the encounter?

(Why does that make me want to laugh so hard?)

Speaking of savage behemoths, I just learned that the state marine animal of Alaska (every state should have one) is the bowhead whale.  This is by far the ugliest beast I have ever seen.

If I don’t return, you can either blame the state of Alaska for death-by-wildlife, or Christopher McCandless for the inspiration to just never come back.  At this point, it’s a toss up.



  1. josh solar on July 2, 2009 at 9:35 AM

    but won’t you have Micah & Tyler to protect you?

  2. Shannon on July 2, 2009 at 9:51 AM

    This is hilarious!
    I hope you and the clan have an AMAZING time. And really, moose are one of the most incredible animals to see in real life. So majestic. Unless you’re getting gored by one, of course.
    And they’re tasty. I RARELY eat meat… like SO rarely. But I had moose once, delicious.

  3. kimberly on July 2, 2009 at 9:57 AM

    I went to alaska last summer and I wanted SO BAD to see a bear. no luck.

    I did see a moose and another moose (i don’t know what the plural of moose is) in minnesota once. they ran right in front of our car. it was CRAZY!!

  4. hootenannie on July 2, 2009 at 9:59 AM

    “I did see a moose and another moose…”

    That is brilliant. :)

    I so wish it was “meese.”

  5. Hitoshi Yamaguchi on July 2, 2009 at 10:09 AM

    have you seen the Errol Morris documentary “Fast Cheap & Out of Control”? one of the subjects is a naked mole-rate specialist:

  6. Katherine M on July 2, 2009 at 10:20 AM

    As much as I love Alison Krauss, that is a strange song choice for baby moose (I wish it was “moosen”) playing in a sprinkler.

    Have a great time!

  7. Emily from Seattle on July 2, 2009 at 10:48 AM

    I don’t mind moose, I wouldn’t mind seeing one in the wild (from distance). That whale, on the other hand, scared the crap out of me. I’ve always been scared of deep water, and now I’m even more scared, knowing that things like THAT might be lurking under me…

  8. Katie on July 2, 2009 at 10:50 AM

    I love Moose. Although, I dont ever want to be close enough to get gored by one. There were two Moose (I wish it was moosen also Katherine)in my back yard a few months ago, coolest thing ever.

    Have a blast on your trip!

  9. Annie on July 2, 2009 at 11:24 AM

    I mean, that baby moose is pretty cute!

    I have a friend who grew up in Alaska, and he used to go moose hunting…you could take up that hobby and get over your fear! :)

  10. Tad on July 2, 2009 at 1:56 PM

    When I was in Haynes, AK doing summer camp staff, we ate Moose. I was pretty yummy. It tastes like beef, only more wild and less fatty.

    You’ll be sorely tempted to never come back until the winter comes and the sun never rises. Then you’ll want to come back, even if you have to hitch-hike.

  11. Tad on July 2, 2009 at 1:58 PM

    “It” was yummy, not “I”.

  12. Marijke on July 2, 2009 at 2:12 PM

    Today I am in Seward with my family, about to go on a wildlife viewing boat cruise. Does your cruise stop in Seward? It’s a hopping town over the 4th of July weekend…


  13. Chet on July 2, 2009 at 3:59 PM

    Don’t “McCandless” while you’re there and eat any strange plants…..

  14. dn on July 2, 2009 at 9:27 PM

    Ha ha. Hatchet. Man, now that was a book that deserved its William Allen White Award.

    I don’t remember the bit about the moose. The only thing I remember is the airplane pilot’s death, the kid going underwater to retrieve stuff from the plane (and seeing the pilot’s corpse?), a lot of hatchet use, and wild berries that made him sick.

  15. Elizabeth on July 2, 2009 at 10:50 PM

    Where I grew up, my Mom once saw a moose in the front yard. And one night when I was babysitting some elk were hitting the side of the house with their antlers.

    But really elk and moose are just beautiful things… not anything to be afraid of. And maybe you should read the book If You Give A Moose A Muffin before you go… so you have a friendly moose image in your head.

  16. Sarah Kate on July 13, 2009 at 11:32 AM

    What a strange song choice for that video.
    Isn’t that the whale that ate Jonah?

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