Change and sameness


Life is changing all around me.

The weather is changing – yellow leaves swirling around in little cyclones on the streets, the clouds hanging heavy and low, no trace of humidity. The colors are dimmer, the smell, different. Fall has chased out the summer, and taken up residence in Nashville.

My focus is changing – not my heart (definitely not my heart), but what I am accepting, and moving forward with. This shift feels equal parts defeat and relief – defeat to think that nothing I have tried has worked, and relief to finally just stop with the trying. I just am these days – and that’s okay.

People are changing – growing older and falling in love and moving on from the way things were. Some of their dreams are coming into focus, and taking them in different directions. I feel alone – which is not necessarily the same as “lonely” – but nothing could or should be done to change that. It’s just this season, and the shape of current life.

In the midst of all of this change, this past weekend, I reconnected with a “sameness” in myself – that familiar old me that has been missing for awhile.

I met some friends who were new, and yet knew me. It was so strange – hugging complete strangers and feeling totally at home. We celebrated Todd and Juliette’s wedding, and shared stories from junior high, and explored Nashville, and laughed – honest and genuine and immodest laughter.

I fell in love with these people.


Todd and Julie were gorgeous – if you just imagine me out of each of these pictures, and splice them together, you will see.



Now it is Monday, and they are gone, and the merriment is over. But I have a ticket to an Alison Krauss show tonight, and a trip to Boston on Thursday, and a new 2010 calendar to write my plans in. Thankfully, those plans now include a trip to Austin in March for Joey and Sam’s wedding.

I keep scoring the invites!



  1. sarah on October 12, 2009 at 10:21 AM

    I like your blog :).

  2. Val on October 12, 2009 at 10:22 AM

    Awww, ANNIE!!! I absolutely LOVED our time together! I am still on a high and glowing from the time I got to spend with you.

    To the internet! Clink.

    Love you. See you in March! :D

  3. Whitney on October 12, 2009 at 12:20 PM

    I so hear you.

    And there’s nothing to do, but enjoy the crisp fall air, make peace with the change, and celebrate when you get a breath of same.

    And laugh every chance you get.

  4. Peg on October 12, 2009 at 1:56 PM

    oh I am so…so…envious of your Alison Kraus evening! Have fun.

  5. Little AP on October 12, 2009 at 4:41 PM

    I love that each of your posts has a small piece of your emotions communicated through it. Right now you seem so content, and it’s a lovely thing to read.

  6. FW on October 13, 2009 at 12:21 AM

    Little AP is wise beyond her years…

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