What’s next

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I struggle with the question, “What am I doing with my life?”  I always have.  And with each passing day, week, year, I am no closer to finding the answer – I am learning to just take one day at a time.

However, even though I might not know what I am doing with my LIFE, I think that I will always know when it’s time to do what’s NEXT.  And once again, I’ve reached that pivotal point.  The doors have flung wide open in an undeniable way, and I am choosing to walk through them.

I am Denver-bound.

It turns out that my mom’s cancer is more serious than originally thought – and I need and want to be there throughout her treatment (another surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation).  The worst feeling in the world was getting that dreaded phone call, and being 1200 miles away.  I cannot rest in that reality.  My mom is my “person,” and I need to be close.

I am in the incredibly fortunate position to work for a company that does not see their employees as a commodity, but as humans with real lives – leading the “powers that be” to be gracious and supportive in the midst of crises.  Emma has a small Colorado office, and is willing to let me work from Denver on an open-ended basis.  I am heading west around Christmastime.

I am not calling it “moving.”  I am leaving my stuff in storage here in Nashville, and “temporarily relocating for the indefinite future.”  I don’t know what will happen, or where this will lead – it’s impossible to know what the coming months will bring.  But I just know that it feels too early – too sudden – to close the door on my Nashlife.  That may or may not wind up being relevant.  But it’s how I feel right now.

I am hoping to rent a room in Denver, or house-hop for a bit – giving me a place to sleep during the week, and leaving me free to spend my weekends in Colorado Springs with my parents.  So if you happen to live in Denver and know of any options, please let me know – because I don’t want to live under a bridge.

Obviously, there are still details to work out.  But I do know that this is “what’s next.”  Until then, you will find me crying most days, snuggling with Julie and Mel most nights, praying for my mom, and hoping that God knows what he’s doing.

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24 Comments

  1. Mandy on November 20, 2009 at 9:57 AM

    I will keep my ears open for anything housing wise in Denver for you–I would offer my couch, but with an infant and husband, that’s probably not realistic. In the meantime, just remember that as trite as it may sound and as little comfort as it may bring, God DOES know what He’s doing. That’s why He is God and we are not. Trust that friend.

  2. Greta on November 20, 2009 at 10:23 AM

    Oh AP… He DOES know what He’s doing. He’ll be there with every footfall– or every additional mile on the Honda.

    I love you. Praying for you.

  3. becca on November 20, 2009 at 10:52 AM

    no one immediately comes to mind that would have a place to stay in denver, but i may have some connections that could work something out. or you can always share a bed with greebs and me for a while (your dream come true).

  4. Casey Evans on November 20, 2009 at 11:52 AM

    nice Grey’s reference:)

    My bff rented a couple different areas by Wash Park, and they were nice; I’ll ask her… and I have some potential friends for you in the Springs, one works at your dad’s church.

    Peace friend. Which sports star does your mom want me to hook up? j/k:)

  5. Sarah on November 20, 2009 at 12:43 PM

    My sister is in Fort Collins, I can ask if she knows of anyone w/space in Denver.

    Safe travels, AP. That’s incredibly cool that you get to keep your job and I hope your mom’s treatment goes well!

  6. Dani on November 20, 2009 at 1:02 PM

    Adam wants to move to Colorado more than almost anything. Praying for you and if he gets his way, we’ll see you there. X’s and O’s…

  7. Stephie on November 20, 2009 at 2:23 PM

    Sooo, what are you thoughts on living with the Nickster? He does have 3 extra bedrooms:)

  8. Katie on November 20, 2009 at 4:53 PM

    Grant’s mom lives in a five bedroom house by herself. Up until last month, she had foriegn exchange students and a girl from their church living with her, so I know she doesn’t mind the company. I can ask her if she’d like a roomie for a bit. She lives in Littleton, so I’m not sure what your commute to Emma would be like but its really easy access to C-470 so getting to the springs would be NBD.

  9. megan on November 20, 2009 at 5:34 PM

    Annie!! I am SO sorry to hear this. Your family is so dear. We live in South Denver and have a big house. If nothing else you are more than welcome to stay with us for awhile. We have an extra room and I have lots of friends in the area. Give me a call anytime 303 870 6069.

    Megan

  10. Katie @ cakes, tea and dreams on November 20, 2009 at 5:35 PM

    Praying for you, Annie. These are big changes, but I’m glad you’re taking the time to listen and to know.

  11. Dad on November 20, 2009 at 5:48 PM

    boy, Annie, when you wrote “I hope God knows what He’s doing” I started crying. That’s always the deal, isn’t it? When the bottom is dropping out of life, no matter how mature we are, that’s the intersection of faith. “Are You there? Are You good? Really?” It seems that that’s the amazing opportunity for all of us in seasons like this, to be found by Him in our fears and anxieties. I am so glad that you will be just an hour north in the coming months, that we might all together find Jesus in our midst.

  12. Tad on November 20, 2009 at 6:11 PM

    Prayers for your Mom & Family & You!!

  13. Brooke on November 20, 2009 at 10:07 PM

    Annie I’m praying for you and your amazing mom and your wonderful family.

    It’s moments like these, when we trust anyway even though our hearts are breaking and we don’t understand why that our faith grows even stronger.

  14. Sarah Kate on November 20, 2009 at 10:34 PM

    Praying for you! I do have Denver connections as well.

  15. Nicolas on November 21, 2009 at 3:06 PM

    I have two great, Christian friends (married, our age) living in Denver. Let me know if you want the hook ups. Best wishes, Love.

  16. Mandy Q on November 21, 2009 at 8:47 PM

    Let me check with a friend of mine from college…she and her husband rent their downstairs floor …. I’ll check and see if she has anyone living there. They live on the south side of Denver too…so easy access to the Springs! Sad to hear about your temporary move but completely understand….I’d be doing the same thing, friend!

  17. Terry McNichols on November 22, 2009 at 12:34 AM

    I am impressed that you are heading to Denver to be with your mom. You are an amazing daughter and I know your mom will appreciate your closeness. Sounds like you have a lot of friends and options in the Denver. Keep us informed…. I know you will. Love your CD by the way.

  18. Katherine on November 22, 2009 at 7:11 PM

    Yay people in Denver! I’m so glad things are working out and God is (of course)taking care of you, Annie. Will be praying for your Mom, you, and the Parsons!

  19. Good Reads « The Bronzed Shoe Archives on November 22, 2009 at 8:17 PM

    […] What’s Next by Annie at Hootenannie.com […]

  20. FW on November 22, 2009 at 9:13 PM

    Your mother is very fortunate to have you as her daughter.

    (love “Starting Today”!)

  21. Dad on November 23, 2009 at 11:08 AM

    It is welcome news for us, that for this next unknown chapter of our lives, you will be near. Your presence is and always will be a great comfort.

    Love, Dad

  22. JJ Kissinger on November 23, 2009 at 4:12 PM

    SUCH a good decision. We sure love you…and can’t wait to see you face-to-face!

  23. josh g on November 25, 2009 at 11:54 AM

    It warms my heart to see the responses spilling out on this page. You are a loved person Annie, that’s for sure. Lookin’ forward to our last month in Nashville together!

  24. Jessica Beecham on November 29, 2009 at 6:29 PM

    i only read 2 blogs now. yours and the other annie’s. :) i so appreciate your heart and your love for your mom and your desire to be with her at this time. you are on my heart and in my prayers. XOXO

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