Maundering pondering :: redux

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Man.  Yesterday’s post really took it out of me.  It’s not easy talking about my skivvies to the entire Internet.  I could hardly sleep last night, knowing that the words “bikini” and “thong” were just… OUT THERE.  Attached to MY HONORABLE NAME.

When it comes to entertainment value, anything that I say after yesterday’s post is only going to be a let down.  Nothing humiliating, bawdy, or awkward has happened in the last 24 hours – and even though I never set out with this as a goal, it seems as though “humor trumps dignity” is becoming my new creed.

Here’s a question: is this a plus-size model?

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I DIDN’T THINK SO EITHER.  Sheesh, Macy’s.  For crying out loud.

Here’s another question: do you call them clementines, cuties, or satsumas?

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Speaking of clementines, in another life, I am going to name my children Clementine, Sparrow, and Bluebell.  I can’t do it in THIS life, because what would people think?  But deep down, I love these names.  Maybe I should get some livestock – I could name a cow Bluebell, no questions asked.  When it comes to bovines, you can get away with anything.

Just watch “Food, Inc.

And… that’s all I’ve got today.

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13 Comments

  1. The Bug on March 23, 2010 at 11:35 AM

    Well, there are certain ASPECTS of her figure that are full. But, no, she’s kind of the size of REAL people & then there’s my size, which is definitely plus LOL.

    I call them Cuties & Clementines, interchangeably. In fact, I have cuties in my fruit bowl at home right now. Did I remember to bring one today? NO. Sigh.

    I will fully support your choice to name a child Clementine or Sparrow, but I’m sorry, you’ll have to get a cow (or a blue tick hound) to use Bluebell.

  2. Greta on March 23, 2010 at 12:14 PM

    What?? No! Look at her jaw line! Look at her clavicle! She looks like a 6, max. MAYBE an 8 if she’s tall.

    I hate the media.

    On the flip side, it also sucks when one of your boy students asks with a grin on his face, “Miss Weisman, do you eat?” SCOWL.

    I prefer Clementine. Taught a Clementine last year who was absolutely adorable.

    My in-another-life (or-in-this-one) names are Jubilee, Juniper, and Poppy. Especially love the first. It sounds so happy. :)

  3. Tad on March 23, 2010 at 12:33 PM

    Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darrrrling Clementine! You are lost and gone forever, dreadful sorry Clementine.

    Macy’s must consider anyone who’s over 5’2″ tall a plus-size, nevermind any other measurment. If that’s the case, they need to go spend some quality time in the REAL WORLD!!

  4. Eric on March 23, 2010 at 12:42 PM

    If she is 6’6″ then yes, she is plus size. But thats it.

    That is a clementine.

    If you are a minor forty-niner you could definitely name your daughter Clementine without being made fun of.

  5. jasonmichael on March 23, 2010 at 2:57 PM

    Cuties.

    She’s not a plus size model, but she is plus size for a model.

  6. Muggs on March 23, 2010 at 4:25 PM

    I hate the media too!! I also hate that I always forget that it’s lies. I also hate that I forget that Extra Polar Ice gum makes everything in my purse smell and taste like polar ice.
    I also hate that you won’t name your kids the names you love, Annie. Eff what people think! People, think this model is PLUS SIZE!! STICK IT TO THE MAN!!!!

  7. Jan on March 23, 2010 at 5:13 PM

    I thought Cuties were mandarin oranges. ?

  8. Laura on March 23, 2010 at 5:55 PM

    You could give them those names as middle names. Betsy Bluebell has a nice ring to it :)

  9. Matt on March 23, 2010 at 6:58 PM

    Definitely not.

    And cuties.

    If someone who isn’t a botanist says satsumas I’ll be impressed.

    Oh, and yesterday’s post was so freaking hilarious I’ll be laughing every time I pull up your blog for at least a month.

  10. Jeremiah on March 23, 2010 at 9:30 PM

    I’m telling you–you’ve got enough material for at least your next EP between what you talked about on today’s blog and some of the chaos that ensued over the weekend. Maybe a full length CD.

  11. Rod on March 24, 2010 at 8:18 AM

    “Clementine” is an awesome name. That way whenever she introduces herself she can then add, “No jokes about my name.” Thus quoting Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

  12. annie on March 25, 2010 at 11:52 AM

    Ditto Jan…

    And I considered “Sparrow” for my own baby. I think you should name your future kids whatever you want! These days, anything goes. Believe me.

  13. Riley on March 25, 2010 at 2:15 PM

    just because there is strength in numbers, I will echo: she is NOT plus size.

    I call them satsumas, and I’m not a botanist! go figure.

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