Have I mentioned my state of physical woe?

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Last Thursday morning, I was in a car accident.  Don’t worry – the Honda’s fine – or, at least she will be after the other guy’s insurance pays for a new $750 bumper.  Do you know what this means?  I am losing my bumper stickers.  All of them.  No more “FRESH BEER.”  No more “VIVA NASHVEGAS: EAT MORE RHINESTONES.”

This is probably for the best.

While my car will be spiffed up in no time, I am suffering the effects of whiplash.  My lash was whipped.  I am stiff and sore, and can barely turn to the left to check my blind spot when I drive.  I don’t even want to think about what further calamity this could lead to for the Honda.

But you can’t keep a badass down, and on Sunday, I walked a grand total of 17 miles – a 9 mile hike south of the city, and then an 8 mile walk back in Denver.  When I finally got home, with the force attainable only by a girl who had just walked 17 miles, I stubbed my toe on the couch.  I stubbed it so hard, so mightily, that I thought I was going to pass out from the pain.

It didn’t take long to figure out that my toe – the same one that I broke back in January – is blasted to smithereens.  I won’t go into the dirty details, but let’s just say that it’s swollen beyond recognition (I’m sorry, are you a toe?), and black, and the bruising wraps around to the bottom of my foot, spidering its way up the ball.

Sorry.  Maybe those were the dirty details.

So that brings us up to the present moment: ice on my foot, heat on my neck, wishing for whiskey.

Good morning.

In other news, look what happened to my sister.  She’s always getting picked up by guys.

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9 Comments

  1. Miranda Warder on June 29, 2010 at 7:58 AM

    You can’t keep a badass down!!!! Thats your new bumper sticker.

  2. The Bug on June 29, 2010 at 8:06 AM

    Ouch!

    We traded in our ratty Jeep on Friday & lost our “Got Hope,” “Obama/Biden” & “3” stickers. The 3 was from my brother-in-law – it was Dale Earnhardt’s car number. He thought we might need it if we were in NC because we have Ohio plates – he didn’t want folks to think we weren’t “good people.” Heh.

  3. rachel on June 29, 2010 at 10:04 AM

    i was about to comment about becca’s video,
    BUT I JUST SAW YOUR FACEBOOK PROFILE PICTURE
    OMG

    i don’t even know what to say,
    but i think my heart just exploded from the cuteness.

  4. Amanda W on June 29, 2010 at 3:43 PM

    couple things:

    E always says “in no time” now, mostly in the context of, “you’ll be clean in no time!” about herself or her brothers or the kitchen counter or whatever.

    I went to the chiropractor today because my back, well, sucks. the boys are the culprits who whipped my lash. or something.

    we always have whiskey. perhaps we should be neighbors.

  5. Greta on June 29, 2010 at 5:37 PM

    YOU ARE SO FUNNY!

  6. dn on June 29, 2010 at 6:08 PM

    I’m going to steal your “beyond recognition” joke. It’s good stuff.

  7. Sarah on June 29, 2010 at 7:01 PM

    I’m curious as to why they couldn’t just open the front door for your sister :).

    You can make your own bumper sticker, here: http://www.zazzle.com/cr/design/pt-bumpersticker

  8. Sarah Kate on June 30, 2010 at 12:25 PM

    I’m really impressed by the gentlemen who pulled her in and did not grab her butt for the final pull.

  9. Lyla on July 1, 2010 at 11:19 PM

    Holy wow. I’m sorry. Also, about your sister, all I have to say is, “Why?”

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