Business trips


A few days ago, I took Toad on a walk around the block (as far as she can go). It’s good for her to have the illusion of adventure.

On this particular stroll, she stopped to do her business; Becca calls these walks her “business trips.”  And because I am a responsible pet-owner, I had a plastic bag on hand. I scooped up the mess, tied the bag, and carried it home.

As we rounded the final corner, we came upon three stray cats – a dime a dozen in our neighborhood, unfortunately. Two of them scattered, but the biggest one, a giant black Tom, arched its back and hissed at Toad. Toad was like, oh no you di-in’t, and lunged.

The cat didn’t flinch. In fact, it got even angrier, growled that feral cat-growl, and shot out its claws like Wolverine. I stomped and yelled, hoping the cat would run – but it came even closer, fangs bared and hair on edge. Toad was about to get destroyed.

So I did the only thing I could think of. I swung the only weapon that I had.

And pardon the expression, but that cat learned a whole new meaning of the term “shit-faced.”



  1. Lan on April 20, 2012 at 8:18 AM

    best Friday morning story. thank you.

  2. Kelley on April 20, 2012 at 8:30 AM

    I’m trying to think of a moment that I have been more proud of you…. nope. can’t. <3

  3. Bree Jeffries on April 20, 2012 at 10:13 AM

    Bwhahahahaha! Awesome!

  4. Laurissa on April 20, 2012 at 1:37 PM

    That this happened and your retelling of the story is superb. Thanks for the laugh!

  5. Emily from Seattle on April 20, 2012 at 3:04 PM

    That. Was. Awesome.

  6. Sarah on April 20, 2012 at 6:40 PM

    Bree’s photo looks like she took a photo of her face, while she was reading your amazing story.

    Side bar: your self-esteem meter is doing well, these days!

  7. Dad on April 20, 2012 at 9:03 PM

    I sat and interviewed Toad today, nose to nose, and she claims she was incredibly brave in the face of that awful, mean cat. She wagged her tail when she told me, which means she was telling the truth.

  8. Peg on April 20, 2012 at 9:57 PM

    Oh Annie – I needed to laugh hard today! Thanks. I know those bags well and while I’ve never swung one at a cat or other living thing I now feel empowered to do so in the face of danger.

  9. Mike on April 22, 2012 at 7:19 PM

    Now that’s how to set up a punchline

  10. jodie_velour on April 23, 2012 at 12:58 PM

    you are the shiz.

  11. jodie_velour on April 23, 2012 at 12:58 PM

    also, so is becca for calling them ‘business trips’. how clever.

  12. Jacque on May 5, 2012 at 3:14 AM

    So perfect!!!! I will be laughing about this for a quite a while.

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