What to do with this blog


I have a confession: I don’t quite know what to do with this blog.

The posting has been light, at best, in 2012.  I’ve thought about scrapping the whole thing, taking the site down, going off-the-grid in the virtual world.  I’ve thought about forcing myself to post more often, rehashing the meaningless minutia of each day.  I’ve thought about doing a series, dedicating each day of the week to highlighting all 5 members of various boy bands.

Instead, most days, the site just sits here.

I have so many amazing friends who are doing a great job of keeping up their writing, featuring vignettes from their lives, sharing what’s on their heart and mind.  I used to do these things, I think.  But these days, when I sit down to write anything – a blog, an email, a journal entry – it just feels flat.  It feels forced.  It doesn’t make me happy – which is alarming, since historically, writing has made me happier than just about anything else.

It’s been a long time since my heart has felt full to the point where I feel like I have something to share.

I keep trying to rally, but the truth is, I feel too tired.  I miss my friends – I really do. I miss having a sense of belonging.  The future feels big and overwhelming. I wish my family was intact.  I wish I wasn’t broken.

I know, I know – this is the point where I’m supposed to stop and say how lucky I am, how many things I have going for me, how there are good things about my life and situation (because there really are, and I know it).

But just now, as I was writing this, the tears came – and damn it, but I’d rather cry than say nothing at all.



  1. Nashville Miranda on May 1, 2012 at 1:27 PM

    I love you Annie, and I can’t wait to see you in a few weeks. I’m looking forward to a long walk and long conversation. Hopefully we can fit that in while you’re here. :)

  2. Katie @ cakes, tea and dreams on May 1, 2012 at 1:54 PM

    I know how it feels to not quite know what to do with your writing, or your online space. I don’t have answers, but I do empathize.

    Love to you, sweet brave girl.

  3. Ashley Mays on May 1, 2012 at 1:55 PM

    I am SO in the same place. I can’t quite decide what to do either…

  4. Tad on May 1, 2012 at 2:41 PM

    I think you could be in a place where you need to be fed. You’ve given so much to everyone in the witty and creative observations and commentary here on the blog, but when your tank is empty… it’s empty. It may be time to let others pour into you.

    After doing so much giving, maybe it’s time to do some receiving.

    What if you kept the blog up, but only posted when you had something you wanted to say? You can set it up so Facebook alerts us when you post.

  5. Erin on May 1, 2012 at 2:44 PM

    Praying for you Annie! You should do what you need to, but this blog would be missed.

  6. linda on May 1, 2012 at 2:55 PM

    all i can think to say is: smiley face.

  7. Val on May 1, 2012 at 3:14 PM

    You know I love you. Love love love LOVE you. Your words seriously bring me SO much joy! I re-read your text message from Friday about 1400 times over the weekend.

    You knew what I needed to hear.

  8. Julie on May 1, 2012 at 7:25 PM

    Here here. Sometimes I think we’re a little bit like twin souls.

    AND: I love your “meaningless minutia”. It’s not meaningless to me. :)

  9. dn on May 1, 2012 at 7:40 PM

    Blogs don’t have rules, man. The site is SUPPOSED to just sit here. Just write when you wanna write – it’ll be here.

  10. Perry on May 1, 2012 at 9:06 PM

    I, personally, would LOVE to hear your take on all five members of various boy bands.

    I’m adding you to my prayer list, Annie. You’ll climb out of this valley, just like those 14ers you climb, and you’ll be stronger for it. Tomorrow is a new day, and I just bet it’ll be a better one too.

  11. Laura on May 2, 2012 at 6:36 AM

    I hear you. I’ve been feeling similarly about my blog. Just know that it’s perfectly allowable in this universe to have a blog that isn’t updated regularly. It’s perfectly allowable to feel sad and empty- perfectly allowable to cry. Give yourself permission to do these things- it really is ok.

  12. Brooke on May 2, 2012 at 8:02 AM

    You should definitely do what is best for YOU, but for what it’s worth, your blog posts are always a bright spot in my day (and I don’t even know you!) You have a true talent with writing. I am confident that you will find the best path for you during this difficult, unknown time. Hang in there – you’ve got more people pulling for you than you even know!

  13. Greta on May 2, 2012 at 9:21 AM

    Here is an analogy:

    In winter time, when it is cold, and pants are covering legs, legs are sometimes hairier than in summer.

    I say: let the blog grow some leg hair. It’s cold outside. (Figuratively speaking.)

    Blog wog dog blob. Meh.

    One thing you MUST do however: talk to me soon. This afternoon maybe? Would be good for me if you’re in the mood for a walk. :)

  14. Emily on May 2, 2012 at 12:20 PM

    Annie. You matter deeply to so many people. I’m sorry for your dry time friend. Regardless of what you choose to do with this webspace, I will continue to check it every single day in hopes of some word from your glowing soul.

  15. Amanda on May 2, 2012 at 3:34 PM

    If you’re feeling a little low on heart & this space drains you instead of fills you up, it’s okay to walk away. You make the rules here, not Invisible Nonexistent Blog Rule Man. He is mean and bossy and not important. You, however, are not those things. You is kind, you is wise, and you is important.

    You’ll be missed if you leave. But that just means we’ll be really freaking happy when you come back. (You will come back, won’t you? Surely you didn’t mean that whole “delete” business. Psh.)

    (p.s. i love you.)

  16. Sarah Kate on May 20, 2012 at 8:08 PM

    Hey, remember that time I had a blog? It’s still there, lonely and taking up a small piece of cyber space. Sometimes I think about picking it back up, reliving those days of writing witty things about my daily life, expressing my thoughts on music, politics, Breastfeeding, whatever. Then I decide that twitter is easier and it a lot of pressure to keep a blog up. We would miss you but don’t stay on account of us. Maybe the blog was just for a season. Maybe it’s ok to let it go. Maybe you can just write when you are inspired to do so. Maybe permission from me is not enough but you have it. Do what you need to do for you.

Leave a Reply Cancel Reply