Hissy-fits and growing up

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I woke up this morning to freezing temperatures, icy wind, and snow on the ground.

Not cool, April 9th. NOT COOL.

After several days of near-70 degree weather, I was starting to believe that spring was here to stay – but leave it up to April, the hormonal teenage girl of Colorado’s calendar year, to slam the proverbial door on that idea. She’s all “I HATE YOU” and then storms off to her room to hang out on Instagram, all the other months looking on befuddled.

And that’s the way it goes – two steps forward and one hissy-fit back.

Since my 30th birthday last summer, I’ve been making a conscious effort toward health and wholeness. With the realization that no one is going to fix me, I’ve taken personal responsibility seriously, owning up to some shortcomings, working on my (many) faults, and making the hard-fought choice to live and believe differently. For a while there, it was exciting – so much growth, so much change, hopeful rays of sunshine after what had felt like years of winter.

But then one day it snows – and it’s easy to forget how the warmth had felt.

Backsliding into the bleak is discouraging – dis-courage being the opposite of courage. It makes determination and backbone and fortitude and pluck seem futile. If you can’t feel the sun on your face, do you know it’s even there? If a tree falls in the forest, who wants to rub my shoulders?

But the cold can’t last forever. Time moves forward, never backward, and we’re headed for sunny days. Because no matter what April would have you believe, hormonal teenage girls always grow up.

At least, I’m trying.

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10 Comments

  1. Becca Groves on April 9, 2013 at 3:14 PM

    Lots of reasons why your blog is one of my very favorite. This post is now added to the list.

    Joyfully,
    Becca

  2. Michael Rhyne on April 9, 2013 at 3:53 PM

    Yes! March and January switched places in Ohio, to the befuddlement of all. April is finally behaving like, well, April…until Friday, when April will temporarily be February. Loved this post! Love that you’re trying. Me, too.

  3. Autumn Gardner on April 9, 2013 at 7:32 PM

    You’re so cute and very entertaining!

  4. Bob on April 9, 2013 at 8:41 PM

    Nice piece of writing.

    Now all we need is a melody…

    :)

  5. Christy Frost on April 9, 2013 at 9:10 PM

    I loved this. Our San Jose weather was great today, but I have a real 17 year old daughter who does exactly what you were saying. We go from snow to sunshine several times a day sometimes.

  6. Christina on April 10, 2013 at 8:14 AM

    I feel you on the weather-related hissy-fit. It’s freaking April and the ten-day forecast right now is all cold and rainy. After the winter we’ve had, I guess I should just be glad there’s no blizzard heading our way. MUST HAVE SUNSHINE!

  7. Sarah on April 10, 2013 at 9:37 AM

    “If a tree falls in the forest, who wants to rub my shoulders?” What? Hahaha… we’re blustery here, too, after some decent-ish weather. I’m sure the sun will return soon.

  8. Christy on April 10, 2013 at 10:28 AM

    I just read this – so true, so good! And were we kindred spirits yesterday or what? Crazy!

  9. Greta on April 10, 2013 at 4:40 PM

    Oh Annie. Summer ALWAYS comes. And you have so many good things ahead. :) love you so.

  10. Megan on April 11, 2013 at 7:57 AM

    I needed to read this today. It was a long winter here. I remember the first day I could truly feel the warmth of the sun, Good Friday. I just sat outside and basked in it. Sometimes the seasons changing are a slow transition. Sometimes they change quickly. I take comfort in the fact that it doesn’t stay winter.

    Thank you for your writing, Annie. Thanks for being real.

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