Exercise

Thank you for your well wishes – after throwing out my back on Tuesday night, I am slowly on the mend. Still creeping along and needing pain killers, but I’m back at work. And on the bright side, I now have a prescription for massages – hey-oh! In other news, Facebook is serving me up…

I woke up this morning with a hospital bracelet on my left hand and a patch of gauze taped to my right. Last night, for the very first time in my life, I had reason to visit the emergency room – and judging by the Vicodin now pumping through my veins, it was nothing short…

It’s clear from every wedding reception/bachelorette party/alcohol-fueled error of judgment that I am no dancer.  I’ve got rhythm, but I’m all kinds of awkward in my own skin – and this is never more obvious than when I am called upon to drop it like it’s hot. But then there’s Zumba, the “Latin-based dance-fitness program”…

Last week, I met with Gunnar, the Viking trainer man.  I had one free training session that was included with my gym membership – but wound up not signing up for the real deal, because I refuse to pay $50/hour to be tortured. At one point, I said, “Gunnar, you are KILLING me.” He replied,…

After my half-marathon back in April, I quit running cold turkey.  I don’t like to run when it’s hot outside, and I focused more on hiking and mountain climbing this summer.  Because I’ve been insanely active, I didn’t think that it would be that hard to get back into running this fall. Oh, my friends….

I have negative triceps. There’s, like, nothing there. If my arms were outerspace, there would be a black hole where my triceps are supposed to be. Haha, PHYSICS JOKE!!! Science is sooooo funny. I am 3 1/2 years older than my sister Becca, so when I was 15 and basically the same size I am…

The Colorado air is dry. This parched feeling is all-pervasive, making itself known in every part of my body.  My skin is the Sahara, my eyeballs, sandpaper.  I smile, and my bottom lip splits like the back of Chris Farley’s coat.  My hands are cracking, my cuticles flaking.  I cannot drink enough water. Short from…

My parents recently enrolled in a gym called Fitness 19, named such because it’s open 19 hours a day. Oh, Coloradans – you are so clever with your words! Due to her recent surgeries, Mom hasn’t been to Fitness 19 in awhile, leaving her membership card available to yours truly. My workouts on Saturday and…

The cruise ship is a battle zone, and I am at war. I refuse to gain a pound a day. But this is proving to take some serious combat. I wake up each morning and put on my armor: a reasonable breakfast of one egg over easy, a small bowl of cereal, and an Americano. …

One of the East Nasties has a bumper sticker that says “Run Happy.” I don’t.  Run happy, that is. Some people are built to run – I am not.  I really do not enjoy running.  Even after dedicating myself for months, pulling myself out of bed every Saturday AND Sunday morning, and watching my mileage…