Nugget
In a moment of self-doubt…
“I don’t know, Mom. I think I’m pretty good at a lot of things, but I’m not great at anything.” “Except parallel parking.” “Well yeah. There’s that.”
Things you will never hear me say
“Can I have your pickles?”“Dream car? Buick LeSabre.”“Please! Tell me more about your foot fungus!”“This would look better in Comic Sans.”“Wanna watch golf?”“This dress? Oh – Chadwicks of Boston.”“Please don’t rub my feet.”“Let’s start a Dungeons & Dragons club.”“Penetrate.” I can barely type it, let alone say it. [shudder]“Man, I wish Savage Garden would cover…
A Tennessee delicacy
Tonight, I ate a Ritz cracker topped with cheddar cheese, yellow mustard, and red onion. And then, I ate another one, and another one, and another one. And I liked it.
Our homeschool heritage put to the test
“Did Thomas Edison invent the light bulb or the telephone?” “I don’t know… both?” “Or did Albert Einstein invent the light bulb?” “Maybe.” “I can’t remember.” “I think that Thomas Edison invented both… but then again, Annie, I’m not very smart.”
Those cryptic First Nations
Seen today at the Royal BC Museum in Victoria, BC, a caption beneath a carved figure: The age and use of this carved stone image is unknown. Even its subject is ambiguous: is it a woman holding her child or a man holding his phallus? Or is it both?
Speaking from personal experience…
Let’s just say that you have not lived until Walt Wagner has dedicated “Lady in Red” to you from the Steinway grand at Canlis. I would know. :)
Word nerd
I love words. I love them, I love them, I love them!!! I love learning new words, and incorporating them into every day language; I read the dictionary more than the Bible. I don’t recommend that to any of you… but it helps during Scrabble, which, by the way, is one of the few possessions…
A sign?
On this, the last night in my apartment, I used the very last of my Glad tall kitchen trash bags. Two years have come and gone, serendipitously timed in correspondence with the 75 pack box. It’s been real.
Your cashier was Dwight Schrute
Me: “I wish I had the recipe for this soup.” Cashier: “Do you have the internet?” Me: [long pause] “You mean… the World Wide Web?” Cashier: [solemnly serious face] “Yes.” Me: “Um… yeah… I think they have that on the computers these days.”