I’ve been learning some things as of late.
Who someone else is does not increase or decrease my value at all.
The comparison game is brutal, and I have played it for too long, and in too many different areas of my life. By juxtaposing myself with other women, I invariably wind up feeling lame – because EVERYONE has SOMETHING better than me. One woman is more brilliant, and one woman is cuter, and one woman is hotter, and one woman is funnier, and one woman has the most dulcet voice I have ever heard. And I will never have legs like so-and-so, and what’s-her-name is just so mysterious.
My darling friend Greta is in the beginning stages of what is shaping up to be a very important book – a book on self-esteem, self-image, beauty, and the issues therein that face today’s women. She recently posed the question, “What would happen if all of the women in the world woke up every day feeling beautiful and confident and phenomenal?”
I’ll tell you what would happen: the world – the entire world – would change. I honestly believe this. If women were simply at rest with who they are, who they have been made to be, and did not feel the need to frantically try to change or achieve or be skinnier or sexier or more attractive, the world would be turned upside down. I don’t want to steal Greta’s thunder, because her book is going to rock your argyle socks off and you will definitely want to read it, but consider me a sibyl who is saying… it’s time to quit the comparison game.
It is possible for hard times and heartbreak to result in a soft heart, rather than an embittered one.
I have had some severely sorrowful times in the last 6 months, and I would never wish that sort of pain on anyone. But also, you guys? I would not trade it for anything. It has become a part of me, and it is mine. I have experienced the absolute miracle of God continuing to instill in me a soft heart, even when all signs have pointed to, “Wall off, do not trust, become bitter, just be numb.”
This miracle culminated in the most surprising and welcomed way yesterday morning when I was on a walk. It warmed me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, and reminded me of the strong heart beating in my chest. “What is this foreign feeling?” I thought.
Without a boyfriend, without a Mazda 3, without an iPhone, without financial success, without babies, without a puppy, without losing those last 10 lbs, without a shopping spree at Anthropologie, without a kitchen to renovate, hell – without any furniture or possessions AT ALL, I am happy.
And that is a marvelous feeling.