Things I do not understand:

The word “sigh”
What about the combination of the letters S-I-G-H makes people think of the actual act of sighing? When I sigh, I don’t say “Siiiiiiigh.” I don’t understand. I am perplexed.

“Dilemma” vs. “dilemna”
A few years ago, my dad asked me how I spelled the word “dilemma.”

“D-I-L-E-M-M-A.”

He and my mom looked at each other flabbergasted, shaking their heads, saying, “No! It is not a double M! It has an N: D-I-L-E-M-N-A.” Dilemna. Really? A silent N? Both of my parents agreed that as children, this was the way they had learned to spell the word – although I have yet to find a dictionary or source that validates or explains historically the “mn” spelling.

A quick internet investigation proved that my parents are not delusional (even though we Parsons kids definitely accused them of being such) – it seems as if an entire generation was taught to spell this word in a way that is no longer recognized as legitimate. Why? If it works for “solemn” or “condemn,” why not “dilemna”?

Computer storage
I have no idea what a KB or an MB or a GB is. I don’t know what’s the biggest. I don’t know how much space I have left on my Macbook, and I don’t know how to check. I don’t know how to conserve room. I don’t know what to get rid of. I have no concept of how big a Word document or a picture or an mp3 is. I might be ready to explode, but I won’t know until it’s too late. The same is true when it comes to guacamole.

Buy one get one free
Why can’t I just… get one free?

But one thing I DO understand:
It’s raining! Its raaaaaaaiiining in Nashville!!! Let’s sing the “Doxology.”