O is for Our Father
When your spirit feels stripped, when your foundation is rocked, when you watch your friend’s lives being torn in half like a giant bed sheet, you begin to wonder about this God – the one that you have never not known, the one that you have sung about since you can remember, the one that you have prayed to as naturally as breathing. And when the doubts and questions and anger start creeping in, it’s hard to think straight. It’s hard to remember what you know to be true. It’s hard to believe.
Over the past few days, I have seen everything – everything – through the lens of Ben Towne. Every conversation, every observation, every thought and attempt at prayer – everything has been colored by this bulldozer called cancer. How are we supposed to pray? What are we supposed to ask for? What is really true? What do I believe?
And in this dark and rocky time, I have fallen back on one prayer – the only prayer that I currently know to pray, the one that I’ve never had to memorize because I’ve always known it.
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil,
For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. Amen.
Over and over, like a mantra, this prayer has been pumping through my veins. This is a prayer straight from Jesus’ lips – the way that he taught us to pray – and at this point, it’s the only thing I know. As my friends are living their absolute worst nightmare, I am offering this prayer with every breath.
Thy will be done. But also, deliver us from evil.
I am praying for both. And I don’t know what else to pray for – except for time. As much time as God will give them.
I believe that God is love. I believe that this world is broken. I believe that we were not made for pain and death – and that’s why it hurts so badly. I believe that there will come a day when creation is restored and renewed and redeemed. I believe that, in the grand scheme of eternity, our lives are a flash in the pan. I believe that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. And I believe that God loves Ben, and God loves the Towne family, and that he sees them and has not abandoned them, and that none of this is a mystery to him. I have to believe that.
share:
I have to believe that too. But it’s so hard. I tried to pray that prayer at church last night but no words came out. Just tears. But i’m on my knees with you.
In the hardest times, it is important for us to remember John 14:18 and 27.
“I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
These are the moments when fear is VERY real, but we are able to gain strength through Him.
I am praying with you Annie.
~Diana
Annie,
i don’t know what else to do, but i know that to worship Him is always the right thing… praying for your precious friends…
The splendor of a King, clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice! all the earth rejoice!
He wraps Himself in light, and darkness tries to hide
and trembles at His voice, trembles at His voice
How Great is our God! Sing with me, how great is our God!
and all will see how great, how great is our God!
Age to age, He stands, and time is in His hands,
beginning and the end, beginning and the end
The Godhead, three in one, Father, Spirit, Son
Lion and the Lamb, the Lion and the Lamb
Name above all names, You are worthy of all praise
and my heart will sing how great is our God!
When all around is fading, and nothing seems to last
when each day is filled with sorrow,
still I know with all my heart
He’s got the whole world in his hands
He’s got the whole world in his hands
I fear no evil, for You are with me
strong to deliver, mighty to save
He’s got the whole world in his hands.
When I walk through fire, I will not be burned
when waves are crashing round me,
still I know with all my heart
He’s got the whole world in his hands
He’s got the whole world in his hands
I fear no evil, for You are with me
strong to deliver, mighty to save
He’s got the whole world in His hands.
From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
creation’s revealing Your majesty
from the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
every creature unique in the song that it sings,
all exclaiming
Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God!
All powerful, untameable,
awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God!
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
or seen heavenly storehouses laiden with snow
who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night,
none can fathom!
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
all powerful, untameable,
awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God!
Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
Blessed Be Your name
When I’m found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I’ll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun’s shining down on me
When the world’s ‘all as it should be’
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there’s pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I’ll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name