“Your vision isn’t big enough”
I can’t tell you how many times in the last several months that I have sat down to write, only to be confronted with the alarming realization that my spirit feels dry. The five fairly consistent years of this blog should prove that it’s not like me to have nothing to say – but you can’t draw water from an empty well, and you can’t draw words from an empty girl.
There are probably a lot of valid external factors contributing to this soul-drought. Starting a new job (no matter how awesome) takes a significant amount of brainpower and creative energy. Going from working from home to being surrounded by people (no matter how wonderful) is a whiplash of sorts, and requires some adjustment. The evolution of important relationships can be uncomfortable – not bad, not wrong, just different. The Colorado weather swinging from 72 degrees one day to 28 the next is enough to kill all the joy that ever was.
But deeper than all of that, it’s a heart thing. It’s a heart thing, and I know it.
Last week, two of my favorite friends posted two separate blogs – and both brought me to tears. Both of these friends had a dream. Both of them worked really hard for a really long time. And both of their stories have led somewhere beautiful and inspiring.
Annie and Valerie, you remind me of what it means to hope and dream and work, and to wind up somewhere beyond what you thought was possible. I’m so incredibly proud of both of you. (Also, let’s just take a moment to recognize how GORGEOUS they both look – good grief.)
I recently heard a pastor say, “If you don’t have to pray about the vision you have for your life, then your vision isn’t big enough.”
Contrary to my self-sufficient attitude, we’re supposed to dream of and work toward things bigger than what we can do on our own.
I’m pretty sure that a lack of vision has contributed to my stagnant heart – but Annie and Valerie have reminded me about the importance of working toward a dream. Consider me nudged.
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tags: Annie Downs | Annie Parsons | Denver | Dreams | Friends | Valerie Morby
I learned in a Pastoral Care class, something that I suspected for some time. That there’s no way that I as a different person can know exactly how you feel. “I’ve been there.” Isn’t really truthful.
But I can say that I empathize with how you feel. It makes sense. You aren’t crazy. I thought my vision of school was big enough and now that I’m half-way done, I find that I need a bigger vision too.
Though, I suppose that if ever there was a prayer that God would answer “Yes” to, it would be a prayer for a larger vision. Just don’t be surprised if the larger vision includes very ordinary places and people.
Pastor Richard often talks about God asking us, constantly, to get out of our comfort zone. Only when we’re *uncomfortable* are we forced to rely on Him. That’s been a reassuring thing to remember as I continue to confront challenges with my job… It’s not that I’m sucking, or that I’m failing to improve– it’s that I continue to be challenged. God invites me once again outside the fence… which is terrifying territory, but that’s the point. In those places, we HAVE to hold His hand.
For the millionth time… I miss you!
I can so relate with that paragraph # 2 of yours- each thing- there now, too. especially the whiplash part of working from home to people- I’m five months in now, and it does get better I can attest- feels so much healthier once the whiplash does wear off. Thanks for articulating things- helps me today! And the evolution of relationships- was just thinking on this today- can be difficult to understand at times. Thanks, Annie for sharing your heart- helps me with my own today :)
yeahhh gil jones on your blog!!
Aww! Annie! I’m just now seeing this! Wow, I am so astounded by your kind words. I love love love you, friend. Thank you.