hootenannie

You are dying to know what I did this weekend. Trust me: you are. Well, between meeting up with a fellow Annie who is moving to Nashville in the summer (and who is AWESOME and HYSTERICAL and TOTALLY friend-material), dumpster diving for Vanderbilt dorm left-overs, and crying my way through church (it happens), I attended…

You probably have some questions for me. And I am here to answer them. Preemptively. That’s right: I am going to answer questions that you have yet to vocalize. We’ll start with some obvious ones. Annie, can we see your new earrings? Of course! I got these from Mud & Mint’s Etsy shop, where there…

It is a rare occurrence to find a perfectly written song. But the other day, I found one – a complete gem. Start-to-finish, this song is flawless. “I Gotta Start Somewhere,” written by Jerry Salley and Lisa Shaffer, and recorded by Rhonda Vincent, could not be a better song. In any way. There is not…

Yesterday, I spent upwards of 5 hours shredding documents at my work. I filled 6 Hefty bags full of confetti, and succeeded without getting a single paper cut. I only jammed the shredder once, and wound up completely sweaty from the heat of the hulking machine. At financial companies, they don’t mess around with their…

Hair grows. It does. I know it does. And mine grows quickly, like a weed – about an inch a month. Still. These days, I am regretting the decision to cut my hair. Sure, it was spontaneous and cute and spunky for awhile – an “I am Annie Freaking Parsons” moment. But now, it’s shaggy…

An example of my high-class wit.

Every now and then, a friend comes along that makes you think, “How did I ever make it this far in life without this person?” For me, that person presented herself a few years back in a 5’2” curlicued package. I do not know what I would do without Greta. She is as good a…

It couldn’t possibly have happened again. Twice in a matter of months? Well, my friends, what can I say: I defy the laws of fate and probability. Once again, I have an embarrassing moment featuring the check-out line and my bosom. I went to Target, and used one of the hand-held baskets to shop. I…

We’re all a mess. We’re all people in process. We’re all flawed, and lonely, and in our most vulnerable moments, very afraid. It doesn’t matter if you have money, or not. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship, or not. It doesn’t matter if you drive a nice car, or wear cool clothes, or…

It is truly embarrassing to hear the words, “Annie, please don’t blow your nose on our embossed napkins.” But today, this was my reality. A co-worker caught me with my face buried in a company napkin, and then politely requested that I use something other than their expensive serviette as a depository for my snot….