Animals

I kissed a baby cow while wearing high heels. We went grocery shopping at BB’s, an Amish paradise in which you find bargains like 50 cent jars of chutney, or 9 full-size Butterfingers for $1.50, or a slightly smashed box of Cheez-Its for 75 cents, or apples for 39 cents/pound. It was like God raining…

I share a front stoop with my next-door neighbor. As I approached my front door today after running errands, she and 2 men were hauling in a gigantic plywood-and-wire cage, approximately 6’x4’x3′. Me: “What is that?” Her: “This is a cage for my flying squirrel.” Ladies and gentlemen, without even trying, I have found the…

I go on walks – long walks – pretty much every day, sometimes multiple times a day, sometimes alone late at night. (I know. Just… I know. I shouldn’t do it. I know.) Recently on these walks, I have seen: Twin Old Ladies Y’all. I’m not EVEN kidding. There they were, up ahead of me,…

When I was in junior high, I was asked to pet-sit for some family friends while they went away for the week. It was an animal lover’s dream come true – horses, cows, dogs, cats, and ducks, all to myself – and I got PAID. I showed up once in the morning and once at…