Freedom

We get to be free

This weekend, I made a searching and fearless moral inventory. Of my closet. Over the years, my stockpile of clothing had become unwieldy and entirely unreasonable. As someone who has moved more often than many, one would think that I might have done a better job at paring down the collection every now and then…

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A meandering take on honesty, vulnerability, and courage

I hate conflict and I hate humiliation. If someone wants to have an honest conversation that would require me to say something that might hurt their feelings, I turn tail and run like a deer. I’m learning to be better, be braver – but I know that no matter how good I get at it,…

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Writing as light

The darkness of this world has been weighing me down and sucking me under, cinderblocks tied to my ankles. You know what I’m talking about; all the news is bad. Every day is full of incessant sound bites, ISIS and Syria and Ebola and child abuse and gunmen hiding in the woods. It’s enough to…

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Free

Yesterday was a momentous occasion, a freaking scream-from-the-rooftops miracle: after working toward it for years, I made the final payment on my student loans, and became 100% debt-free. I still don’t quite believe it myself. My debt was made up of common damages: credit cards, a car loan, and everyone’s favorite, student loans. I was…

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Girl, interrupted

… and we’re back. I thought about making a video to give a glimpse into my life in November, but if I had, it would have been full of long, drawn out silences and artsy frames of my face staring off into nowhere.  Trust me, I respect you more than to put you through that.…

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It’s okay to be happy

I’ve spent a lot of years getting okay with sadness. While we live in a culture that tells us that, through various forms of self-medication, sadness is to be avoided at all costs, I have learned that sometimes, you just need to feel sad.  Lean into the pain.  Don’t do anything to try to change…

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Clean slate

You have no idea how symbolic this bumper is of my life right now. A fresh start?  A clean slate?  An empty void?  A hella fine backside? Maybe just pure potential? Interpret as you will.  Private Self is asserting herself these days. But I can tell you that in one way or another, it has…

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Weightless

Yesterday, I threw away my scale. Just like that. Trashed. Into the dumpster. I am a compulsive weight-checker, always keeping tabs on my poundage, and consequently tempted to feel either good or bad, happy or sad, proud or ashamed, jubilant or angry. It’s amazing how a great day can be ruined by a number –…

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The plan (or lack thereof)

First things first. Did anyone else notice that they said “hootenanny” last night during “Lost”?  My name was said on national television!  I AM SO TOTALLY FAMOUS!!! Next things next. Last night as I was dying my hair, it hit me: I am a responsible and intelligent girl, not one to slack and make bad…

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Courage

It is impossible to be courageous without first being afraid. It is impossible to be courageous without first deciding that you are willing to fail. It is impossible to be courageous without first accepting the possibility that your very best efforts might truly prove you to be inadequate and out of your league. – –…

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