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I present to you a 4-day series: Things I Must Do In My Lifetime -or- The Living Big – a detailed account 1) Learn how to make Keri Alexander’s chicken enchiladas. 2) Plant a rose bush. 3) Sing to old people in a nursing home. 4) Sew a quilt. 5) Help build a Habitat for…

1) The sound of nails on a chalkboard evokes an immediate reflexive response in me: I instantly, and without thinking, put my fingertips in my mouth. It might make more sense to cover my ears, but you can’t argue with “natural tendency.” It must be evolution. 2) I am a consolidator. I cannot stand to…

“Can I have your pickles?”“Dream car? Buick LeSabre.”“Please! Tell me more about your foot fungus!”“This would look better in Comic Sans.”“Wanna watch golf?”“This dress? Oh – Chadwicks of Boston.”“Please don’t rub my feet.”“Let’s start a Dungeons & Dragons club.”“Penetrate.” I can barely type it, let alone say it. [shudder]“Man, I wish Savage Garden would cover…

1) Be born with a melancholy spirit. 2) Go out and get your heart broken. Love deeply and without reservation, and do not brace yourself for the inevitable pummeling to follow. Do this as many times as it takes to completely crush your spirit. 3) Withdraw from society. Solitude is best; however, a few companions…

Perhaps it is futile to aspire toward perfection. Nevertheless… In a perfect world:* Coffee and red wine would not stain teeth.* Gas would cost 10 cents/gallon.* Jobs would last 10 hours/week, and we would always leave fulfilled.* Bad haircuts would grow out in one day.* The black Macbook would not show fingerprints.* Checking accounts would…