I should know better by now

Written by hootenannie on November 1st, 2007

We know better. Really – we do. And yet sometimes, we still manage to give into the things that we know are not the best for us.

For some people, this might mean tequila. Or cigarettes. Or a certain dysfunctional-and-yet-absolutely-intoxicating relationship. For me? I am talking about only one thing – and no, it is not Ritz Cracker Cheese Sandwiches.

I am talking about Drew Barrymore movies.

I cannot help it. I’m obsessed with her. I want to be her – we have the same shaped mouth, so I’m already close. If Drew makes a movie, I will watch it – no matter how banal or trite it may appear to be. Sometimes, I am rewarded for my devotion (“Ever After,” “Donnie Darko,” “The Wedding Singer,” or hell, “E.T.”), but as of late, I have been let down.

Well, wait – that’s not entirely true. “Fever Pitch” might have been one of the worst movies of all time, but it still holds a place on my shelf (if I had a shelf) as one of my three DVD’s. I’m not from Boston, so I thought it was cute. So sue me.

“Music and Lyrics,” however, spawned nothing but a splitting headache and an unwavering earworm of the worst pop song ever written.

Last night, I indulged in watching a Drew-movie that I have been eagerly anticipating for years. Filmed several years back, the release was put on hold due to studio-whatever. And after spending 2 hours of my living, breathing life watching it, I now know why. “Lucky You” is an inexhaustible marathon of drawn out poker jargon, painful one-liners, and an unredeemable plot. Granted, it co-stars Eric Bana, Drew’s hottest leading man to date, whose role as eye-candy just might have made the experience worth it… but no, not quite.

The thing is… Drew Barrymore is so great. She’s charming and smart and beautiful and funny, and has been in the business long enough that she could take her pick of films to star in. Why is she taking part in these poorly scripted movies?

Drew, I love you. You’re perfect. Never change. Except change. Be choosier. You’re gonna win an Oscar someday, girl – I know it. Oh, and can we be best friends?

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